1
00:00:01,161 --> 00:00:03,744
(upbeat music)

2
00:01:35,026 --> 00:01:37,359
(hammering)

3
00:01:40,551 --> 00:01:42,191
(glass breaking)

4
00:01:42,191 --> 00:01:43,711
- Hey, Doc, what the
hell's going on in there?

5
00:01:43,711 --> 00:01:45,366
- Church, everything's fine.

6
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:46,750
The patient is just resting.

7
00:01:46,750 --> 00:01:48,271
- Doesn't sound like he's resting.

8
00:01:48,271 --> 00:01:49,391
- That's not Tucker.

9
00:01:49,391 --> 00:01:50,511
That's our new arrival.

10
00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:51,508
- Blarg!

11
00:01:51,508 --> 00:01:52,708
- He's got a lot of energy
since his first feeding.

12
00:01:52,708 --> 00:01:54,541
- Tucker fed the baby?

13
00:01:55,668 --> 00:01:56,540
Gross.

14
00:01:56,540 --> 00:01:58,729
- Actually, Caboose was kind
enough to donate some blood.

15
00:01:58,729 --> 00:02:00,809
You know what they say,
it takes a village.

16
00:02:00,809 --> 00:02:02,185
- How'd you get him to agree to that?

17
00:02:02,185 --> 00:02:04,205
- It's amazing what Caboose
will do if you promise him a

18
00:02:04,205 --> 00:02:05,040
cookie and a glass of orange juice.

19
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:06,144
- Blarg! Honk!

20
00:02:06,144 --> 00:02:07,381
- But he hates needles.

21
00:02:07,381 --> 00:02:08,384
- No needles.

22
00:02:08,384 --> 00:02:10,565
It turns out if you just
expose some bare skin, the

23
00:02:10,565 --> 00:02:12,624
little guy just digs right in.

24
00:02:12,624 --> 00:02:15,162
It's like a miracle to see nature at work.

25
00:02:15,162 --> 00:02:16,661
- I feel dizzy.

26
00:02:16,661 --> 00:02:19,060
- Um, is he going to be OK?

27
00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:20,981
- Tucker's kid drank
half a gallon in one go.

28
00:02:20,981 --> 00:02:22,060
Isn't that cool?

29
00:02:22,060 --> 00:02:23,061
- Honk.

30
00:02:23,061 --> 00:02:24,278
- I think he's going to be a linebacker.

31
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,786
Or a vampire.

32
00:02:25,786 --> 00:02:27,221
Or a vampire linebacker!

33
00:02:27,221 --> 00:02:28,722
That would be crazy.

34
00:02:28,722 --> 00:02:29,555
- Oooh.

35
00:02:30,645 --> 00:02:33,136
- Anyway, blood is pretty
important, so Caboose is bound

36
00:02:33,136 --> 00:02:36,101
to have some side effects,
like dizziness or nausea or

37
00:02:36,101 --> 00:02:37,221
sensitivity to light.

38
00:02:37,221 --> 00:02:40,381
- I think I'm going to
stop standing up now.

39
00:02:40,381 --> 00:02:41,904
- Or passing out.

40
00:02:41,904 --> 00:02:44,464
- Church, if I die, I want
you to have my orange juice.

41
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,808
(Junior shouting)

42
00:02:46,808 --> 00:02:48,285
- How can Tucker sleep
with all that racket?

43
00:02:48,285 --> 00:02:50,848
- Sleeping? He's not sleeping.

44
00:02:50,848 --> 00:02:51,845
He's in a coma.

45
00:02:51,845 --> 00:02:53,509
- All right, that's it.
Get out of the way, Doc.

46
00:02:53,509 --> 00:02:54,526
I'll take care of this.

47
00:02:54,526 --> 00:02:55,845
- I can't feel my torso.

48
00:02:55,845 --> 00:02:57,027
- I don't think so.

49
00:02:57,027 --> 00:02:59,444
A newborn is really
susceptible to infection and

50
00:02:59,444 --> 00:03:01,585
disease and cuddling.

51
00:03:01,585 --> 00:03:04,242
I only want to expose it to
as few people as possible.

52
00:03:04,242 --> 00:03:05,847
- Doc, don't worry.

53
00:03:05,847 --> 00:03:07,626
I'm not going to give it a cold.

54
00:03:07,626 --> 00:03:09,843
I'm just going to go in
there, step on its neck,

55
00:03:09,843 --> 00:03:11,184
and shoot it in the head.

56
00:03:11,184 --> 00:03:12,280
Because that's how I roll.

57
00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,085
- Well now you're
definitely not coming in.

58
00:03:14,085 --> 00:03:16,157
And I think we're going to
send back your shower gift,

59
00:03:16,157 --> 00:03:16,990
too.

60
00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:17,957
- I'm still laying here.

61
00:03:17,957 --> 00:03:19,775
Why won't anyone help me?

62
00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:20,773
- I'll tell you what.

63
00:03:20,773 --> 00:03:22,197
I promise to wash my
hands before I destroy the

64
00:03:22,197 --> 00:03:23,875
abomination of nature, OK?

65
00:03:23,875 --> 00:03:24,873
- Sorry.

66
00:03:24,873 --> 00:03:26,624
- Doc, seriously, you
can't keep me from going

67
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:27,935
inside my own base.

68
00:03:27,935 --> 00:03:31,055
- Church, don't make me pull rank on you.

69
00:03:31,055 --> 00:03:32,214
- Rank? What the fuck?

70
00:03:32,214 --> 00:03:33,894
I outrank, you don't outrank me.

71
00:03:33,894 --> 00:03:34,912
I'm a captain.

72
00:03:34,912 --> 00:03:36,694
- No, you're a private
with a dead captain.

73
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:39,814
The last time I checked,
that makes you a private.

74
00:03:39,814 --> 00:03:41,211
With a dead captain.

75
00:03:41,211 --> 00:03:44,273
- My body is trying to die.

76
00:03:44,273 --> 00:03:46,193
- OK, fine. Then we're both privates.

77
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,469
You don't outrank me.

78
00:03:47,469 --> 00:03:50,427
- No, I'm medical
super-private, first class.

79
00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:52,811
- That's not a real rank.

80
00:03:52,811 --> 00:03:53,646
- Yes, it is.

81
00:03:53,646 --> 00:03:54,630
- Since when?

82
00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:57,010
- Uh, since I sent them a
letter every day for four

83
00:03:57,010 --> 00:03:58,570
years requesting that promotion.

84
00:03:58,570 --> 00:03:59,574
- Blarg!

85
00:03:59,574 --> 00:04:00,571
- They promoted you for that?

86
00:04:00,571 --> 00:04:01,906
You haven't even used your weapon!

87
00:04:01,906 --> 00:04:03,632
- Leadership isn't
about firing bullets and

88
00:04:03,632 --> 00:04:05,014
stabbing people, Church.

89
00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:07,069
Leadership is about
being able to tell others

90
00:04:07,069 --> 00:04:08,811
to fire bullets and stab people.

91
00:04:08,811 --> 00:04:11,851
- If I've been bitten, does
that mean I'm going to turn

92
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,291
into one of them?

93
00:04:13,291 --> 00:04:14,294
- Shut up, Caboose.

94
00:04:14,294 --> 00:04:15,127
- Blarg.

95
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,371
- Shut up, Caboose.

96
00:04:19,371 --> 00:04:21,621
- Oh no, don't let me turn.

97
00:04:22,474 --> 00:04:24,795
(crashing noise)

98
00:04:24,795 --> 00:04:26,011
- What the hell was that?

99
00:04:26,011 --> 00:04:27,593
- I didn't feel anything.

100
00:04:27,593 --> 00:04:28,593
- I'll be right back.

101
00:04:28,593 --> 00:04:31,574
Don't feed anymore of our
soldiers to the alien.

102
00:04:31,574 --> 00:04:33,611
- OK, but I can't make any promises.

103
00:04:33,611 --> 00:04:35,494
- Don't leave me with the horrible doctor.

104
00:04:35,494 --> 00:04:36,811
- Oh, shut up, Caboose.

105
00:04:36,811 --> 00:04:38,353
- Now he's cursing at me.

106
00:04:38,353 --> 00:04:41,611
- Simmons, status report (coughing).

107
00:04:41,611 --> 00:04:44,374
- Um, an enormous thing just
fell out of the sky, and it

108
00:04:44,374 --> 00:04:45,451
landed on Donut, sir.

109
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:47,393
- (cough) Are there any other injuries?

110
00:04:47,393 --> 00:04:48,395
- No, sir.

111
00:04:48,395 --> 00:04:49,393
- Are you sure?

112
00:04:49,393 --> 00:04:50,395
- I think so.

113
00:04:50,395 --> 00:04:51,412
- Are you sure?

114
00:04:51,412 --> 00:04:53,275
No one accidentally got shot
in the face when someone

115
00:04:53,275 --> 00:04:56,016
else's shotgun just
accidentally went off during

116
00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:59,851
the incredible distraction
of a spaceship crash landing,

117
00:04:59,851 --> 00:05:01,137
purely by coincidence?

118
00:05:01,137 --> 00:05:02,714
- Uh, I don't know-

119
00:05:02,714 --> 00:05:03,953
- No one orange?

120
00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:05,275
- Ugh, I'm fine.

121
00:05:05,275 --> 00:05:06,395
- Sorry, sir.

122
00:05:06,395 --> 00:05:08,155
- I really need to adjust

123
00:05:08,155 --> 00:05:09,297
the sights on this thing.

124
00:05:09,297 --> 00:05:10,518
- What about Private Donut, sir?

125
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:12,358
There's no way he survived that.

126
00:05:12,358 --> 00:05:13,754
Poor Donut.

127
00:05:13,754 --> 00:05:15,499
I'll miss him like a sister.

128
00:05:15,499 --> 00:05:16,855
- I'll miss him like,

129
00:05:16,855 --> 00:05:19,835
well, like someone I knew, but
that I don't really want to

130
00:05:19,835 --> 00:05:21,817
reflect on how deep our relationship went.

131
00:05:21,817 --> 00:05:22,855
(tapping)
- Wait a second.

132
00:05:22,855 --> 00:05:24,395
Do you hear that? It sounds like tapping.

133
00:05:24,395 --> 00:05:25,585
- All I hear is you
guys talking about your

134
00:05:25,585 --> 00:05:26,651
feelings for Donut.

135
00:05:26,651 --> 00:05:28,728
And I have to say, I'm not
really comfortable with that.

136
00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,446
- Listen. There it is again.

137
00:05:30,446 --> 00:05:31,547
- You're absolutely right.

138
00:05:31,547 --> 00:05:33,331
That sounds like Morris code.

139
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:34,427
- Um, excuse me, sir.

140
00:05:34,427 --> 00:05:35,755
It's actually not Morris code.

141
00:05:35,755 --> 00:05:36,982
It's Morse code, sir.

142
00:05:36,982 --> 00:05:38,027
- Morse?

143
00:05:38,027 --> 00:05:39,953
(laughing) That sounds ridiculous.

144
00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:41,009
I don't think so.

145
00:05:41,009 --> 00:05:42,011
- Yes.

146
00:05:42,011 --> 00:05:44,251
Morse is the person who
developed an international

147
00:05:44,251 --> 00:05:46,449
code for communicating without audio.

148
00:05:46,449 --> 00:05:50,030
Morris was a television
cat that sold cat food.

149
00:05:50,030 --> 00:05:52,971
- And that cat was one of
our finest military minds.

150
00:05:52,971 --> 00:05:54,208
Don't you see?

151
00:05:54,208 --> 00:05:57,409
That just means Donut is alive
and trying to contact us.

152
00:05:57,409 --> 00:05:58,929
Now get to tapping.

153
00:05:58,929 --> 00:06:01,291
- Maybe we can lift the
ship off of him somehow.

154
00:06:01,291 --> 00:06:02,390
- Great idea, Simmons.

155
00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:05,153
I've read reports that people
can get enormous strength in

156
00:06:05,153 --> 00:06:06,729
stressful situations.

157
00:06:06,729 --> 00:06:09,611
There was one woman who
lifted a car off her baby.

158
00:06:09,611 --> 00:06:10,849
- You want me to call Donut's mother?

159
00:06:10,849 --> 00:06:12,230
- Don't make me angry, Grif.

160
00:06:12,230 --> 00:06:15,285
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

161
00:06:15,285 --> 00:06:17,190
Now if only there were some
way to tap into our inner

162
00:06:17,190 --> 00:06:19,227
rage, like that Hulk fella.

163
00:06:19,227 --> 00:06:22,067
Dagnabbit, there's never any
gamma radiation around when

164
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:23,091
you need it.

165
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,564
- Well, what if we tried
getting into the ship and

166
00:06:24,564 --> 00:06:25,830
lowering the landing gear?

167
00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:27,206
That might raise the ship.

168
00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:29,366
- Or we could build an army
of clones that could lift the

169
00:06:29,366 --> 00:06:30,406
ship.

170
00:06:30,406 --> 00:06:31,686
- I think the jack in the
Warthog might be able to lift

171
00:06:31,686 --> 00:06:32,747
it.

172
00:06:32,747 --> 00:06:34,801
- Could develop a machine
that shrinks the ship, or that

173
00:06:34,801 --> 00:06:36,609
makes Donut gigantic!

174
00:06:36,609 --> 00:06:37,819
Or both.

175
00:06:37,819 --> 00:06:39,606
- Or we could try digging
underneath the hull.

176
00:06:39,606 --> 00:06:40,609
- I've got it!

177
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:42,006
A levitation ray.

178
00:06:42,006 --> 00:06:43,766
I think I have a spare in the base.

179
00:06:43,766 --> 00:06:44,924
I'll be right back.

180
00:06:44,924 --> 00:06:46,107
- But sir!

181
00:06:46,107 --> 00:06:47,547
- Simmons, there's no time to chat about

182
00:06:47,547 --> 00:06:49,011
your crackpot theories.

183
00:06:49,011 --> 00:06:50,710
This is a crisis situation.

184
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:53,750
Time to save us all with science.

185
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:57,190
- (sigh) Sarge just drove
away with our jack, didn't he?

186
00:06:57,190 --> 00:06:58,525
- And our shovels.

187
00:06:58,525 --> 00:07:00,369
Sometimes I'm amazed our
entire platoon hasn't starved

188
00:07:00,369 --> 00:07:01,202
to death.

189
00:07:01,202 --> 00:07:02,553
- What the fuck are you guys
doing out here, breaking the

190
00:07:02,553 --> 00:07:03,473
canyon?

191
00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:04,891
- Fuck off, Blue.

192
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,887
A ship just crashed on one of our guys.

193
00:07:06,887 --> 00:07:07,985
- What, this ship?

194
00:07:07,985 --> 00:07:09,273
- No, another ship.

195
00:07:09,273 --> 00:07:10,811
Then that ship left,
and this ship crashed in

196
00:07:10,811 --> 00:07:12,249
the exact same spot.

197
00:07:12,249 --> 00:07:13,275
- Where did it come from?

198
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:14,273
- It's a spaceship.

199
00:07:14,273 --> 00:07:15,856
It came from space.

200
00:07:18,219 --> 00:07:19,294
- Dibs.
- What?

201
00:07:19,294 --> 00:07:20,127
- Dibs.

202
00:07:20,127 --> 00:07:20,977
I just called dibs.

203
00:07:20,977 --> 00:07:21,995
This is my ship now.

204
00:07:21,995 --> 00:07:23,339
Dibs.
- No it isn't, jackass.

205
00:07:23,339 --> 00:07:24,356
We found it first.

206
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:25,542
- Yeah, but you didn't call dibs.

207
00:07:25,542 --> 00:07:27,176
I did. Dibs.

208
00:07:27,176 --> 00:07:28,177
See?

209
00:07:28,177 --> 00:07:29,318
- You can't call dibs on a spaceship.

210
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,315
That's ridiculous.

211
00:07:30,315 --> 00:07:31,537
- Yeah, yes I can.

212
00:07:31,537 --> 00:07:32,731
Dibs. See?

213
00:07:32,731 --> 00:07:34,305
I just did it again.

214
00:07:34,305 --> 00:07:37,233
Now, get the fuck away
from my ship, tomato can.

215
00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:38,772
- Don't call me tomato can.

216
00:07:38,772 --> 00:07:40,011
- Try and take it, then.

217
00:07:40,011 --> 00:07:40,844
- Um, OK.

218
00:07:41,793 --> 00:07:43,313
Sheila?

219
00:07:43,313 --> 00:07:44,146
- You bet.

220
00:07:45,270 --> 00:07:46,103
- Fuck.

221
00:07:46,103 --> 00:07:47,417
- You forgot about that, too, didn't you?

222
00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:48,353
- Yeah, kinda.

223
00:07:48,353 --> 00:07:50,828
- Now step away from the ship, tomato can.

224
00:07:50,828 --> 00:07:52,950
- Ha ha, tomato can.

225
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,374
- You, too, lemon head.

226
00:07:54,374 --> 00:07:55,915
- Hey, I'm orange, not yellow!

227
00:07:55,915 --> 00:07:57,490
(laughing)

228
00:07:57,490 --> 00:07:58,537
(tapping)

229
00:07:58,537 --> 00:07:59,899
- What the hell is that tapping noise?

230
00:07:59,899 --> 00:08:01,435
It sounds like Morris code.

231
00:08:01,435 --> 00:08:02,633
- Morse.

232
00:08:02,633 --> 00:08:06,705
- Sheila, if he corrects me
again, please make him blow up.

233
00:08:06,705 --> 00:08:09,073
- Ha ha, sounds like fun.

234
00:08:09,073 --> 00:08:10,075
- Well, what does it say?

235
00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:11,935
- It says "tap tap tap." We don't know.

236
00:08:11,935 --> 00:08:13,825
- We were trying to translate
it when you showed up and

237
00:08:13,825 --> 00:08:14,833
interrupted us.

238
00:08:14,833 --> 00:08:17,153
- No, when I interrupted you,
you were standing around doing

239
00:08:17,153 --> 00:08:20,731
nothing, just like the last 50
times I interrupted you guys.

240
00:08:20,731 --> 00:08:22,138
(tapping)

241
00:08:22,138 --> 00:08:23,534
- Oh, wait, wait, wait. Listen, listen.

242
00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:24,367
Listen.

243
00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:26,617
It says, "Red sucks balls."

244
00:08:29,249 --> 00:08:31,953
Hey, look, my new ship can talk.

245
00:08:31,953 --> 00:08:34,107
And it knows things. That's a good ship.

246
00:08:34,107 --> 00:08:35,809
- It's not your ship. It's our ship.

247
00:08:35,809 --> 00:08:37,430
We called it, and it came.

248
00:08:37,430 --> 00:08:39,073
- I don't know. I don't
see any markings on it.

249
00:08:39,073 --> 00:08:40,153
- It landed on Donut.

250
00:08:40,153 --> 00:08:41,886
- That was fantastic.

251
00:08:41,886 --> 00:08:45,006
- How in the heck would that
mean, oh, wait, the pink guy?

252
00:08:45,006 --> 00:08:46,105
Oh, I actually liked him.

253
00:08:46,105 --> 00:08:48,366
- Seriously, what's with all
these feelings for Donut?

254
00:08:48,366 --> 00:08:49,705
- You can't have the ship.

255
00:08:49,705 --> 00:08:50,724
- I'm not asking for it.

256
00:08:50,724 --> 00:08:51,806
It's already mine.

257
00:08:51,806 --> 00:08:52,822
Right, Sheila?

258
00:08:52,822 --> 00:08:54,766
- Actually, I kind of like it.

259
00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:56,206
I think it is mine.

260
00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,486
- Hey, are you OK?

261
00:08:57,486 --> 00:08:59,588
- I think there's something
wrong with the tank.

262
00:08:59,588 --> 00:09:01,028
- Yeah, I noticed.

263
00:09:01,028 --> 00:09:02,249
- I've got an idea.

264
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:03,950
- Whoa. Hold on a second.

265
00:09:03,950 --> 00:09:06,174
Before you get too deep into
this, let me remind you that

266
00:09:06,174 --> 00:09:08,649
we don't exactly have a good
track record when it comes to

267
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,270
our plans and that tank.

268
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:11,268
- Come on, Grif.

269
00:09:11,268 --> 00:09:12,282
I think the tank's malfunctioning.

270
00:09:12,282 --> 00:09:14,270
- Well, only one part of it
has to function for me to get

271
00:09:14,270 --> 00:09:15,709
turned into a cloud of orange mist.

272
00:09:15,709 --> 00:09:17,246
- OK, just be cool.

273
00:09:17,246 --> 00:09:20,108
- I am cool. You be cool.

274
00:09:20,108 --> 00:09:21,425
- Bad news, fellas.

275
00:09:21,425 --> 00:09:23,070
I couldn't find that levitation ray.

276
00:09:23,070 --> 00:09:25,929
But I did find the remote
control to, hey, what's going

277
00:09:25,929 --> 00:09:26,926
on out here?

278
00:09:26,926 --> 00:09:29,908
What do you think you're
doing, you lousy Blue?

279
00:09:29,908 --> 00:09:31,188
- I'm just trying to figure
out what the deal is with this

280
00:09:31,188 --> 00:09:32,190
spaceship.

281
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:33,209
- Dibs!
- Too late.

282
00:09:33,209 --> 00:09:34,487
- Dagnabbit.

283
00:09:34,487 --> 00:09:36,649
Why do ever leave you
two to guard anything?

284
00:09:36,649 --> 00:09:39,886
Everybody knows about the
international dibs protocol!

285
00:09:39,886 --> 00:09:41,593
And the no take-backs accord.

286
00:09:41,593 --> 00:09:42,891
- See, guys? This is our ship.

287
00:09:42,891 --> 00:09:46,724
And by ours, I mean mine
and my 80-ton friend.

288
00:09:49,668 --> 00:09:51,001
- Bye, everyone.

289
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:54,932
- Um-

290
00:09:54,932 --> 00:09:56,868
(guns cocking)

291
00:09:56,868 --> 00:09:58,470
- I'm gonna be right back.

292
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:00,078
(Sheila laughing)

293
00:10:00,078 --> 00:10:02,713
- Hey, Blue! You know that
ship you called dibs on?

294
00:10:02,713 --> 00:10:04,313
Well, I got next.

295
00:10:04,313 --> 00:10:05,316
Ha!

296
00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:06,814
Now the ship is mine again!

297
00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:07,954
- Excellent strategy, sir.

298
00:10:07,954 --> 00:10:10,393
- Jesus. Remember we used to
solve problems with violence?

299
00:10:10,393 --> 00:10:12,226
Ah, the good old days.

300
00:10:14,676 --> 00:10:15,814
- Caboose, where's Doc?

301
00:10:15,814 --> 00:10:16,814
- Doc left.

302
00:10:16,814 --> 00:10:18,734
Took the baby for a walk.

303
00:10:18,734 --> 00:10:20,777
It's growing up so fast.

304
00:10:20,777 --> 00:10:24,065
Seems like just yesterday, he was born.

305
00:10:24,065 --> 00:10:26,334
- Well, actually, that's
because he was born today.

306
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,233
Like, an hour ago.

307
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:30,170
- We need to cherish these times.

308
00:10:30,170 --> 00:10:31,934
I wish I knew how to scrapbook.

309
00:10:31,934 --> 00:10:33,774
- Where's Tucker?
- Still in a coma.

310
00:10:33,774 --> 00:10:34,607
- Great.

311
00:10:34,607 --> 00:10:36,756
Tucker's out, Sheila's on
the fritz, and now Doc is

312
00:10:36,756 --> 00:10:37,897
babysitting.

313
00:10:37,897 --> 00:10:41,476
Caboose, if we survive the
next five minutes, I'll be

314
00:10:41,476 --> 00:10:42,754
fucking amazed.

315
00:10:42,754 --> 00:10:43,910
- I'm fine, by the way.

316
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,660
Don't worry about me.

317
00:10:47,774 --> 00:10:48,774
I'm so cold.

318
00:10:49,668 --> 00:10:50,682
- Quit your yammering.

319
00:10:50,682 --> 00:10:52,308
Now let's see if we can
get this thing moving.

320
00:10:52,308 --> 00:10:54,606
I was thinking about our
discussion earlier, and-

321
00:10:54,606 --> 00:10:56,240
- And you decided to use one of my ideas?

322
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,244
- Of course not.

323
00:10:57,244 --> 00:10:58,971
I've got a new, much more realistic plan

324
00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:00,468
for lifting the ship.

325
00:11:00,468 --> 00:11:03,108
If Donut is underneath, all
we need to do is enrage him to

326
00:11:03,108 --> 00:11:04,985
the point where he can lift the ship,

327
00:11:04,985 --> 00:11:06,164
and our work is done.

328
00:11:06,164 --> 00:11:07,562
Now quick, help me think.

329
00:11:07,562 --> 00:11:09,188
What would make Donut furious?

330
00:11:09,188 --> 00:11:10,185
- I don't know.

331
00:11:10,185 --> 00:11:11,543
Have you tried sharing your plan with him?

332
00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:12,665
That'd probably do it.

333
00:11:12,665 --> 00:11:13,529
- Hey, Donut.

334
00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:15,289
I was back at the base, reading some of

335
00:11:15,289 --> 00:11:17,003
your fashion mags.

336
00:11:17,003 --> 00:11:19,929
They said that pink is
no longer the new black.

337
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,841
Turns out black is the new
black, and pink is the old

338
00:11:22,841 --> 00:11:24,510
black, which is now white.

339
00:11:24,510 --> 00:11:26,804
And it's after Labor Day.

340
00:11:26,804 --> 00:11:28,146
You know what that means.

341
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,188
- Oh, dear god.

342
00:11:29,188 --> 00:11:32,121
- Also, we needed to do some
minor rust repairs on the

343
00:11:32,121 --> 00:11:33,470
Warthog's drivetrain.

344
00:11:33,470 --> 00:11:36,510
The bad news is that the only
lubricants I could find were

345
00:11:36,510 --> 00:11:38,384
your imported hand creams.

346
00:11:38,384 --> 00:11:42,110
The good news is, the jeep
now smells like lilacs.

347
00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:45,006
Rusty metal lilacs.

348
00:11:45,006 --> 00:11:46,009
- This has got to be the-

349
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,390
- Yeah, this doesn't seem to be working.

350
00:11:47,390 --> 00:11:48,864
All right, time for Plan B.

351
00:11:48,864 --> 00:11:50,110
- Break into the ship and
see if we can raise it-

352
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:54,020
- No, Plan B is to try to
induce superpowers in Grif.

353
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:56,148
Simmons, get my jar of radioactive

354
00:11:56,148 --> 00:11:57,526
spiders out of the Warthog.

355
00:11:57,526 --> 00:11:59,305
Come here, Grif. I need
to borrow your neck.

356
00:11:59,305 --> 00:12:01,006
(metallic scraping)

357
00:12:01,006 --> 00:12:02,009
- Did you just hear that?

358
00:12:02,009 --> 00:12:03,940
- Mayor of Burbank! Plan A is working!

359
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,362
Quick, Grif, give me a list

360
00:12:05,362 --> 00:12:06,884
of the latest celebrity breakups!

361
00:12:06,884 --> 00:12:08,206
Simmons, help me out!

362
00:12:08,206 --> 00:12:11,406
- Hey, Donut, I heard they
canceled daytime television.

363
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:12,879
- Hey, Donut, command called.

364
00:12:12,879 --> 00:12:16,365
They rejected your new definition
for "fire in the hole."

365
00:12:16,365 --> 00:12:18,126
They're gonna stick with the old one.

366
00:12:18,126 --> 00:12:20,249
- Oh, Donut, I heard that the
Winter Olympics is gonna focus

367
00:12:20,249 --> 00:12:22,649
even more on snowboarding next time.

368
00:12:22,649 --> 00:12:23,646
- I can't take this.

369
00:12:23,646 --> 00:12:24,948
I'm gonna go watch some football.

370
00:12:24,948 --> 00:12:27,908
- Grif's been using your
paisley thong as a slingshot.

371
00:12:27,908 --> 00:12:28,905
- Hey, Doc.

372
00:12:28,905 --> 00:12:29,908
We got problems, man.

373
00:12:29,908 --> 00:12:30,905
I need to call command.

374
00:12:30,905 --> 00:12:32,283
Hello?

375
00:12:32,283 --> 00:12:34,126
Earth to Doc?

376
00:12:34,126 --> 00:12:36,569
I mean, this place to Doc.

377
00:12:36,569 --> 00:12:38,305
- Don't you want to say
hello to our new friend?

378
00:12:38,305 --> 00:12:39,138
- What?

379
00:12:41,246 --> 00:12:42,265
- Hawp?

380
00:12:42,265 --> 00:12:43,268
- I don't-

381
00:12:43,268 --> 00:12:44,240
I- I can't-

382
00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,561
I can't- I don't-

383
00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:46,558
this is-

384
00:12:46,558 --> 00:12:47,565
- Take your time.

385
00:12:47,565 --> 00:12:48,564
This is a big moment.

386
00:12:48,564 --> 00:12:49,566
- Blarg.

387
00:12:49,566 --> 00:12:50,585
- I can't deal with this right now.

388
00:12:50,585 --> 00:12:51,418
- Hah.
- Shut up. You're disgusting.

389
00:12:51,418 --> 00:12:52,846
Doc, what is Vic's number?

390
00:12:52,846 --> 00:12:53,861
- What for?

391
00:12:53,861 --> 00:12:54,862
- For reinforcements.

392
00:12:54,862 --> 00:12:56,441
Wait, unless you've had, like,

393
00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,340
specialized combat training
in the last 10 minutes.

394
00:12:58,340 --> 00:12:59,299
- Uh, nope.

395
00:12:59,299 --> 00:13:00,878
- Then yeah, reinforcements.

396
00:13:00,878 --> 00:13:02,875
- Well, I did just change a dirty diaper.

397
00:13:02,875 --> 00:13:03,871
- That doesn't count.

398
00:13:03,871 --> 00:13:04,878
- I don't know.

399
00:13:04,878 --> 00:13:05,711
It was a real doozy.

400
00:13:05,711 --> 00:13:07,379
Number two.

401
00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:08,499
- Doc, focus.

402
00:13:08,499 --> 00:13:09,838
Vic's number, what is it?

403
00:13:09,838 --> 00:13:10,841
- Come on, Church.

404
00:13:10,841 --> 00:13:12,601
Everybody remembers Vic's number.

405
00:13:12,601 --> 00:13:14,398
Didn't he ever teach you the song?

406
00:13:14,398 --> 00:13:15,555
- Oh, right.

407
00:13:15,555 --> 00:13:16,558
Vic's jingle.

408
00:13:16,558 --> 00:13:19,394
- If you want to talk,
don't email, and don't

409
00:13:19,394 --> 00:13:20,793
you click, click, click, click.

410
00:13:20,793 --> 00:13:24,255
Just call me up at 555-V-I-C-K.

411
00:13:24,255 --> 00:13:26,356
- You know, it probably
would have been more

412
00:13:26,356 --> 00:13:27,457
memorable if it rhymed,

413
00:13:27,457 --> 00:13:29,478
or if his name actually ended in a K.

414
00:13:29,478 --> 00:13:31,639
- Oh, music is a great
way to learn things.

415
00:13:31,639 --> 00:13:33,057
That's how I studied for the MCAT.

416
00:13:33,057 --> 00:13:34,055
- You passed the MCAT?

417
00:13:34,055 --> 00:13:36,236
- (laughing) Not even close.

418
00:13:36,236 --> 00:13:38,029
But you should really hear
my rendition of the Kelly

419
00:13:38,029 --> 00:13:40,230
Clarkson song "Miss Independence."

420
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,030
It teaches you all about
the lymphatic systems.

421
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:45,014
Dome dah dome, lymphatic system.

422
00:13:45,014 --> 00:13:45,847
- Hey, shut up. I'm on the phone.

423
00:13:45,847 --> 00:13:46,680
- Honk.

424
00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:47,852
- And do me a favor. Kill
that fucking thing, would you?

425
00:13:47,852 --> 00:13:48,851
- Blarg.

426
00:13:48,851 --> 00:13:50,172
- Hey, dude. Vic.

427
00:13:50,172 --> 00:13:51,053
- Hey, it's Church.

428
00:13:51,053 --> 00:13:52,471
- This is Vic at 555-V-I-C-K, doodly do.

429
00:13:52,471 --> 00:13:56,612
I'm not in the casita right
now, so leave your lowdown at

430
00:13:56,612 --> 00:13:57,790
the ding-dong.

431
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:58,873
Hasta.
(beep)

432
00:13:58,873 --> 00:13:59,913
- Hey, Vic. This is Church.

433
00:13:59,913 --> 00:14:00,957
I need to-

434
00:14:00,957 --> 00:14:02,670
- You have reached the voice mail system.

435
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:03,710
- OK, OK, come on.

436
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,025
- To leave a message, just wait for

437
00:14:05,025 --> 00:14:06,028
the tone.

438
00:14:06,028 --> 00:14:07,289
- I know how to leave a goddamn message.

439
00:14:07,289 --> 00:14:08,292
- When you are finished

440
00:14:08,292 --> 00:14:11,369
recording, just hang up, or
press pound for more options.

441
00:14:11,369 --> 00:14:12,510
- Really, hang up?

442
00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:13,526
No shit.

443
00:14:13,526 --> 00:14:14,926
I was just gonna keep talking
until he decided to check his

444
00:14:14,926 --> 00:14:15,940
voice mail.

445
00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:17,325
- For delivery options, press 5.

446
00:14:17,325 --> 00:14:19,246
- Just give me the damn beep!

447
00:14:19,246 --> 00:14:20,286
- To leave a callback

448
00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:21,689
number, press 8.

449
00:14:21,689 --> 00:14:23,465
To page this person, press 6.

450
00:14:23,465 --> 00:14:24,342
- Come on!

451
00:14:24,342 --> 00:14:26,468
- To repeat this message, press 9.

452
00:14:26,468 --> 00:14:30,089
- I will fucking stab
you, computer phone lady!

453
00:14:30,089 --> 00:14:33,020
(tapping)

454
00:14:33,020 --> 00:14:34,286
- That tapping is going
to drive me insane.

455
00:14:34,286 --> 00:14:36,446
We either need to get Donut
out of there or find a way to

456
00:14:36,446 --> 00:14:37,470
kill him.

457
00:14:37,470 --> 00:14:39,824
- Donut, can you please stop tapping?

458
00:14:39,824 --> 00:14:41,006
We heard you.

459
00:14:41,006 --> 00:14:43,049
You're crushed, and
you're in mortal danger.

460
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,068
We get it.

461
00:14:44,068 --> 00:14:45,726
- I can feel the tapping in my brain.

462
00:14:45,726 --> 00:14:47,086
- Well, I have to admit it.

463
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:48,089
I'm stumped.

464
00:14:48,089 --> 00:14:50,180
I have no idea how to get him out.

465
00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:51,209
- Jesus!

466
00:14:51,209 --> 00:14:53,070
How long would it take
him to starve to death?

467
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:55,206
When was the last time he ate?

468
00:14:55,206 --> 00:14:57,607
- Sarge, didn't you once tell
me you built self-destruct

469
00:14:57,607 --> 00:14:59,086
mechanisms into our armor?

470
00:14:59,086 --> 00:15:00,446
Can't you just use Donut's?

471
00:15:00,446 --> 00:15:02,510
- No, sadly that's just you, Grif.

472
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:04,645
Although I could activate
yours if you'd like.

473
00:15:04,645 --> 00:15:05,646
- How would that help?

474
00:15:05,646 --> 00:15:07,849
- Well, the situation would
be a little less annoying.

475
00:15:07,849 --> 00:15:09,506
- You want me to get the
activation code, sir?

476
00:15:09,506 --> 00:15:12,905
- Eh, the activation code
is just "activation code."

477
00:15:12,905 --> 00:15:14,105
Keep it simple.

478
00:15:14,105 --> 00:15:15,764
- I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

479
00:15:15,764 --> 00:15:17,042
(tapping)

480
00:15:17,042 --> 00:15:18,345
- Oh my god.

481
00:15:18,345 --> 00:15:19,662
Is it getting louder?

482
00:15:19,662 --> 00:15:21,364
I bet the Blues don't have to put up with

483
00:15:21,364 --> 00:15:23,044
annoying this annoying.

484
00:15:23,044 --> 00:15:24,525
- To mark this message as urgent,

485
00:15:24,525 --> 00:15:25,667
press 11.

486
00:15:25,667 --> 00:15:27,766
- There is no 11, you fucking whore!

487
00:15:27,766 --> 00:15:29,328
- Ooh, language.

488
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:33,467
- Men, it pains me as your
leader to say this, but I

489
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:35,787
think we need to admit defeat.

490
00:15:35,787 --> 00:15:37,867
Years of experience on the
battlefield, and I've finally

491
00:15:37,867 --> 00:15:39,446
met my match.

492
00:15:39,446 --> 00:15:42,384
I never thought I'd be beaten by a ship.

493
00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:44,347
A ship full of enemies, maybe, but never

494
00:15:44,347 --> 00:15:45,921
just the ship itself.

495
00:15:45,921 --> 00:15:47,423
Bravo, ship.

496
00:15:47,423 --> 00:15:49,622
Bravo.

497
00:15:49,622 --> 00:15:50,768
- Don't give up yet, sir.

498
00:15:50,768 --> 00:15:51,824
I'm sure we can find a way to-

499
00:15:51,824 --> 00:15:53,104
- Ah, Simmons, it's hopeless.

500
00:15:53,104 --> 00:15:55,042
Let's start assigning
duties for our retreat.

501
00:15:55,042 --> 00:15:55,875
- Uh, sir.

502
00:15:56,944 --> 00:15:58,384
- Simmons, you can pack
up all the toiletries

503
00:15:58,384 --> 00:16:00,006
and remaining MREs.

504
00:16:00,006 --> 00:16:01,686
But make sure not to mix them
up, or we'll never be able to

505
00:16:01,686 --> 00:16:03,766
tell them apart again.

506
00:16:03,766 --> 00:16:05,424
- Sir, you really should turn around.

507
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:07,446
- Sure, and give the ship
a chance to rub it in.

508
00:16:07,446 --> 00:16:08,562
No dice.

509
00:16:08,562 --> 00:16:10,288
(beep)
- Vic, it's Church.

510
00:16:10,288 --> 00:16:11,291
I need to-

511
00:16:11,291 --> 00:16:12,389
- I'm sorry, but this person's voice

512
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:13,510
mailbox is full.

513
00:16:13,510 --> 00:16:14,998
- Ugh. I'm gonna kill myself.

514
00:16:14,998 --> 00:16:16,004
I'm gonna kill myself.

515
00:16:16,004 --> 00:16:17,545
- Uh, what was all that about?

516
00:16:17,545 --> 00:16:19,683
- Doc, we are royally screwed.

517
00:16:19,683 --> 00:16:21,102
Half our team is down, and I think-

518
00:16:21,102 --> 00:16:22,745
- No it's not.

519
00:16:22,745 --> 00:16:23,742
Look.

520
00:16:23,742 --> 00:16:24,745
Caboose is already back in action.

521
00:16:24,745 --> 00:16:25,760
- I'm OK.

522
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:26,800
I'm OK.

523
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,717
I'm not OK.

524
00:16:28,900 --> 00:16:29,898
- He's fine.

525
00:16:29,898 --> 00:16:31,498
- Like I was saying,
half the team is down.

526
00:16:31,498 --> 00:16:33,521
And the half that's left, sucks.

527
00:16:33,521 --> 00:16:36,081
So all the reds need to do
is attack us, and we're dead.

528
00:16:36,081 --> 00:16:37,081
- Honk.

529
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:38,084
- Oh, right.

530
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:39,081
And I have to kill this fucking thing.

531
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,222
- Also, I see a big ship.

532
00:16:40,222 --> 00:16:43,305
Now I know I'm hallucinating.

533
00:16:43,305 --> 00:16:44,342
- Oh, and I forgot that part.

534
00:16:44,342 --> 00:16:46,081
The Reds also have an
enormous ship that was

535
00:16:46,081 --> 00:16:47,241
sent by their command.

536
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:49,465
Probably has a huge fucking
weapon on it, like a nuke or a

537
00:16:49,465 --> 00:16:53,422
biological weapon that's going
to melt our skin or a genetic

538
00:16:53,422 --> 00:16:54,825
weapon that's going to make everyone

539
00:16:54,825 --> 00:16:56,164
in blue armor sterile.

540
00:16:56,164 --> 00:16:57,502
Awesome.

541
00:16:57,502 --> 00:16:58,585
- Hmm.

542
00:16:58,585 --> 00:16:59,863
Maybe this isn't the best
time to remind you that

543
00:16:59,863 --> 00:17:01,545
technically, I'm neutral in this conflict.

544
00:17:01,545 --> 00:17:02,862
- Doc, I don't think this situation

545
00:17:02,862 --> 00:17:03,999
could get much worse.

546
00:17:03,999 --> 00:17:05,284
I mean, the ship is bad
enough, but god knows what

547
00:17:05,284 --> 00:17:07,419
kind of reinforcements
they have in that thing.

548
00:17:07,419 --> 00:17:11,348
It could be a whole new
squad or a Freelancer or-

549
00:17:11,348 --> 00:17:12,420
- Grif's sister?

550
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,502
- Yeah.

551
00:17:13,502 --> 00:17:14,985
Isn't that cool?

552
00:17:14,985 --> 00:17:17,379
- You know, I always knew
there was a genetic possibility

553
00:17:17,379 --> 00:17:19,295
that Grif would have blood relatives.

554
00:17:19,295 --> 00:17:22,643
But I always held onto the
hope that he was the horrible

555
00:17:22,643 --> 00:17:26,416
byproduct of an experiment at
a turd manufacturing plant.

556
00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:27,622
- Go home.

557
00:17:27,622 --> 00:17:28,643
- What?

558
00:17:28,643 --> 00:17:30,417
- Go home right now.

559
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,300
Get in your ship, uncrash
it, and fly it home.

560
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:34,302
- Whatever.

561
00:17:34,302 --> 00:17:35,300
Make me.

562
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:36,761
- As much as I don't want
to spoil my reputation as a

563
00:17:36,761 --> 00:17:40,084
do-nothing slacker I will not
hesitate to beat you senseless

564
00:17:40,084 --> 00:17:41,759
and drop you in that ship myself.

565
00:17:41,759 --> 00:17:43,498
- I thought you would be happy to see me.

566
00:17:43,498 --> 00:17:44,793
- How did you even get here?

567
00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:45,799
We're in the future.

568
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:46,804
- Hmm.

569
00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:47,801
I think I know how.

570
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:49,881
Did you use your hyperdrive
to get here, or just the light

571
00:17:49,881 --> 00:17:50,905
drive?

572
00:17:50,905 --> 00:17:51,924
- Which one is the hippy drive?

573
00:17:51,924 --> 00:17:54,756
Is that the one with all the
knobs, or is it the other one

574
00:17:54,756 --> 00:17:56,105
with all the knobs?

575
00:17:56,105 --> 00:17:57,102
- Yeah.

576
00:17:57,102 --> 00:17:59,001
She probably came here
just using the light drive.

577
00:17:59,001 --> 00:18:01,880
And as Einstein theorized
in his theory of relativity-

578
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:02,880
- English.

579
00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,237
- When you travel near the
speed of light, time slows

580
00:18:05,237 --> 00:18:06,241
down for you.

581
00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:08,102
Essentially, she came forward
in time by traveling at light

582
00:18:08,102 --> 00:18:09,182
speed.

583
00:18:09,182 --> 00:18:10,185
- That's stupid.

584
00:18:10,185 --> 00:18:11,182
- No, that's science.

585
00:18:11,182 --> 00:18:13,224
- Didn't you ever read the
famous science fiction story

586
00:18:13,224 --> 00:18:15,524
where the astronaut watches
his baby son being born, but

587
00:18:15,524 --> 00:18:17,417
then he gets in a ship-

588
00:18:17,417 --> 00:18:18,423
- No.

589
00:18:18,423 --> 00:18:19,419
- Well, did you ever read the one where-

590
00:18:19,419 --> 00:18:20,252
- No.
- How about-

591
00:18:20,252 --> 00:18:22,203
- I didn't read any of them.

592
00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,223
- Hey.

593
00:18:23,223 --> 00:18:24,478
Who's the nerd?

594
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:25,481
- Excuse me.

595
00:18:25,481 --> 00:18:26,478
I'm not a nerd.

596
00:18:26,478 --> 00:18:28,817
My mom says there's nothing
shameful about being smart.

597
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,897
- All right, missy, there's
just one thing I don't get.

598
00:18:30,897 --> 00:18:32,340
How'd you join the Army?

599
00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:33,353
- What do you mean?

600
00:18:33,353 --> 00:18:34,418
I just signed up.

601
00:18:34,418 --> 00:18:35,598
- But you're a,

602
00:18:35,598 --> 00:18:37,342
you know, you got lady parts.

603
00:18:37,342 --> 00:18:38,340
- So?

604
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:40,223
- So unless this is the
cooking and sewing army-

605
00:18:40,223 --> 00:18:42,942
- No, I meant to join the real Army.

606
00:18:42,942 --> 00:18:44,020
- Does your gun shoot brownies?

607
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:45,035
- What?

608
00:18:45,035 --> 00:18:46,038
- You'll have to excuse Sarge.

609
00:18:46,038 --> 00:18:47,060
He comes from the old school.

610
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:48,062
- Thanks.

611
00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:52,142
By the way, nobody says
old school anymore.

612
00:18:52,142 --> 00:18:55,854
Actually, they told me I was
too young, so I grabbed an

613
00:18:55,854 --> 00:18:59,022
extra suit of armor and boosted a shuttle.

614
00:18:59,022 --> 00:19:00,477
- Glad you learned something from me.

615
00:19:00,477 --> 00:19:01,758
- (laughing) No.

616
00:19:01,758 --> 00:19:03,262
I'm just kidding.

617
00:19:03,262 --> 00:19:05,660
I always wanted to do something like that.

618
00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:06,761
- But why did you join the Army?

619
00:19:06,761 --> 00:19:08,132
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

620
00:19:08,132 --> 00:19:11,044
- Well, you always looked after
me when Mom ran away to join

621
00:19:11,044 --> 00:19:12,060
the circus.

622
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:13,364
- Wait a second. Hold on.

623
00:19:13,364 --> 00:19:14,625
Your mom is in the circus?

624
00:19:14,625 --> 00:19:17,383
You know, at first I didn't
like you, but you've already

625
00:19:17,383 --> 00:19:20,177
made my insults 45% more
efficient by just saying one

626
00:19:20,177 --> 00:19:21,180
sentence.

627
00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,759
- Was your mom a flaming sword swallower?

628
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:24,961
We could use somebody to replace Donut.

629
00:19:24,961 --> 00:19:25,959
- Nope.

630
00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:29,831
You know how circuses have a
bearded lady and a fat lady?

631
00:19:29,831 --> 00:19:33,641
Well, my mom plays both,
because she's, like, super

632
00:19:33,641 --> 00:19:34,654
talented.

633
00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:35,761
- Oh my god.

634
00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:37,740
Is it OK if I record everything you say?

635
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:38,737
- Sure!

636
00:19:38,737 --> 00:19:41,683
Anyway, Grif always looked
after me, but when he went

637
00:19:41,683 --> 00:19:43,919
away, I didn't want to be alone.

638
00:19:43,919 --> 00:19:45,441
- OK, let me get this straight.

639
00:19:45,441 --> 00:19:49,319
You felt scared being alone,
so you decided to join a war.

640
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:50,700
- She's a Grif, all right.

641
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:51,713
- Wait a minute.

642
00:19:51,713 --> 00:19:52,721
She was the one who was tapping.

643
00:19:52,721 --> 00:19:53,719
- Duh.

644
00:19:53,719 --> 00:19:54,721
- Yeah.

645
00:19:54,721 --> 00:19:56,481
I was wondering why
you guys didn't answer.

646
00:19:56,481 --> 00:19:57,657
- None of us know Morse code.

647
00:19:57,657 --> 00:19:58,657
It's outdated.

648
00:19:58,657 --> 00:19:59,879
- Don't you mean old school?

649
00:19:59,879 --> 00:20:01,116
- No, don't you get it?

650
00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:04,060
If she was the one tapping,
then what happened to Donut?

651
00:20:04,060 --> 00:20:05,639
- A baby?

652
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:06,737
Wait up.

653
00:20:06,737 --> 00:20:07,776
I want to see.

654
00:20:07,776 --> 00:20:08,783
- Donut, get back here.

655
00:20:08,783 --> 00:20:09,856
Wait for the ship.

656
00:20:09,856 --> 00:20:11,777
- But Sarge, we don't
know when the ship is

657
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:12,780
gonna get here.

658
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,300
It's coming all the way from Earth.

659
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:18,218
That could take days or weeks
or months or even years.

660
00:20:18,218 --> 00:20:19,479
(crash)

661
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,729
(shouting)

662
00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:27,937
(crumple)

663
00:20:27,937 --> 00:20:29,340
- Ow.

664
00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:30,493
- See him there?

665
00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:31,818
Right there, the yellow one.

666
00:20:31,818 --> 00:20:32,815
- The one next to Simmons.

667
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:33,820
That's Grif.

668
00:20:33,820 --> 00:20:35,980
- The other yellow one.

669
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:37,617
Dumbass.

670
00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:39,297
- Oh, that new yellow person.

671
00:20:39,297 --> 00:20:41,100
Oh, yes, of course, yes.

672
00:20:41,100 --> 00:20:46,100
Uh, he looks very scary, yes,
and I know that because I am

673
00:20:46,434 --> 00:20:47,838
looking right at him right now.

674
00:20:47,838 --> 00:20:48,994
Yes.

675
00:20:48,994 --> 00:20:49,994
He's yellow.

676
00:20:50,881 --> 00:20:53,199
This is very interesting.

677
00:20:53,199 --> 00:20:54,881
- (sigh) You don't even see him, do you?

678
00:20:54,881 --> 00:20:57,899
- Yeah, I don't even know
how to use this thing.

679
00:20:57,899 --> 00:20:58,903
- Oh man.

680
00:20:58,903 --> 00:20:59,927
This is no good.

681
00:20:59,927 --> 00:21:01,010
Yellow armor.

682
00:21:02,001 --> 00:21:03,820
What does yellow armor mean?

683
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:06,780
Is it like some kind
of special ops guy or,

684
00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:08,801
man, this can't be good for us.

685
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:09,858
- What if it's a new gun?

686
00:21:09,858 --> 00:21:10,860
- What?

687
00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:12,259
Why am I even talking to you?

688
00:21:12,259 --> 00:21:14,199
It's a person in yellow armor.

689
00:21:14,199 --> 00:21:15,358
We already established that.

690
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,719
- Oh, no, wait.

691
00:21:16,719 --> 00:21:18,183
Maybe they got their own medic.

692
00:21:18,183 --> 00:21:19,180
- A medic?

693
00:21:19,180 --> 00:21:21,957
Caboose, we're not that lucky.

694
00:21:21,957 --> 00:21:23,839
- See, my suit is purple.

695
00:21:23,839 --> 00:21:25,500
Can you say purple?

696
00:21:25,500 --> 00:21:26,333
Purple.

697
00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:28,964
- Hawp?

698
00:21:28,964 --> 00:21:29,797
- Honk.

699
00:21:29,797 --> 00:21:30,764
- Great.

700
00:21:30,764 --> 00:21:32,137
Once we learn all the colors,
we'll learn why you shouldn't

701
00:21:32,137 --> 00:21:33,143
judge people by them.

702
00:21:33,143 --> 00:21:35,143
- The cool thing is
that I was lucky enough

703
00:21:35,143 --> 00:21:36,284
to get sent here.

704
00:21:36,284 --> 00:21:39,201
They said your commander died,
and I needed to replace the

705
00:21:39,201 --> 00:21:40,284
missing man.

706
00:21:40,284 --> 00:21:41,279
- What?

707
00:21:41,279 --> 00:21:42,284
Our commander's not dead.

708
00:21:42,284 --> 00:21:43,300
I'm our commander.

709
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:44,721
- And an excellent one at that, sir.

710
00:21:44,721 --> 00:21:45,724
- Thank you, Simmons.

711
00:21:45,724 --> 00:21:46,924
- Yeah.

712
00:21:46,924 --> 00:21:48,241
Your commander died.

713
00:21:48,241 --> 00:21:50,065
And one of the troops
is going to be promoted,

714
00:21:50,065 --> 00:21:52,764
and I was sent to replace
the missing troop.

715
00:21:52,764 --> 00:21:54,007
- Wait, what's this about a promotion?

716
00:21:54,007 --> 00:21:56,087
- Sounds like command
made some kind of mistake.

717
00:21:56,087 --> 00:21:57,220
- I don't know, Sarge.

718
00:21:57,220 --> 00:22:00,124
I thought you said command
never makes mistakes.

719
00:22:00,124 --> 00:22:01,481
That must mean you're dead.

720
00:22:01,481 --> 00:22:03,207
- Seriously, what was the promotion thing?

721
00:22:03,207 --> 00:22:04,583
I'm sure I heard something
about someone getting

722
00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:05,607
promoted.

723
00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:07,527
- They said one of your troops
will be promoted to replace

724
00:22:07,527 --> 00:22:09,047
your dead CO.

725
00:22:09,047 --> 00:22:10,145
- One in particular?

726
00:22:10,145 --> 00:22:11,164
One like me?

727
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,162
A maroon one?

728
00:22:12,162 --> 00:22:14,044
- Hey, you're really scary.

729
00:22:14,044 --> 00:22:15,745
That's kinda hot.

730
00:22:15,745 --> 00:22:17,960
- Sarge, I'm really sorry you died.

731
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,665
- Don't be stupid, Grif.

732
00:22:19,665 --> 00:22:21,985
How can I be dead if
I'm standing right here?

733
00:22:21,985 --> 00:22:24,622
- Well, if command was wrong
about you dying, Sarge,

734
00:22:24,622 --> 00:22:26,964
couldn't they be wrong
about other stuff, too?

735
00:22:26,964 --> 00:22:31,380
Like, like what if the Blues don't suck?

736
00:22:31,380 --> 00:22:32,545
(gasp)

737
00:22:32,545 --> 00:22:34,741
What if the Blues are awesome?

738
00:22:34,741 --> 00:22:36,741
This changes everything!

739
00:22:38,249 --> 00:22:41,820
- Dearly beloved, we are
gathered here today to pay our

740
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:43,498
final respects to Sarge.

741
00:22:43,498 --> 00:22:45,121
- But I was so young!

742
00:22:45,121 --> 00:22:46,583
And violent.

743
00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:49,120
- And that's what makes this so tragic.

744
00:22:49,120 --> 00:22:52,434
- Yeah, that guy is definitely
some kind of special forces.

745
00:22:52,434 --> 00:22:54,624
He's probably trained in knives or

746
00:22:54,624 --> 00:22:56,401
ball-kicking or something.

747
00:22:56,401 --> 00:22:58,183
- Maybe he's an alien.

748
00:22:58,183 --> 00:22:59,824
- An alien that looks
just like the rest of us?

749
00:22:59,824 --> 00:23:02,764
- And that is the scariest kind of alien.

750
00:23:02,764 --> 00:23:04,341
- Why are you even here?

751
00:23:04,341 --> 00:23:06,604
It would be easier for me to
just call random people on the

752
00:23:06,604 --> 00:23:08,903
phone and talk to them about this.

753
00:23:08,903 --> 00:23:10,225
They would understand
the situation better.

754
00:23:10,225 --> 00:23:11,244
- Ugh.

755
00:23:11,244 --> 00:23:12,682
(muttering)

756
00:23:12,682 --> 00:23:15,703
- Oh, well, look who's awake.

757
00:23:15,703 --> 00:23:16,801
- What the fuck happened?

758
00:23:16,801 --> 00:23:17,821
- Oh, well.

759
00:23:17,821 --> 00:23:22,044
Um, uh, as you may remember,
uh, you were impregnated by an

760
00:23:22,044 --> 00:23:25,564
alien visitor who was on a
noble mission to save his

761
00:23:25,564 --> 00:23:26,921
entire species from-

762
00:23:26,921 --> 00:23:28,081
- Can I get the short version of this?

763
00:23:28,081 --> 00:23:29,104
- Yeah.

764
00:23:29,104 --> 00:23:30,103
You got knocked up.

765
00:23:30,103 --> 00:23:31,105
You got knocked out.

766
00:23:31,105 --> 00:23:32,545
- Oh, right. I need to start working out.

767
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:34,065
Lose this baby weight.

768
00:23:34,065 --> 00:23:36,524
- Yeah, you know, we, we
should all start working out,

769
00:23:36,524 --> 00:23:39,281
you know, uh, especially some of us.

770
00:23:39,281 --> 00:23:41,724
- Yeah, some of us seem to
have let ourselves go more than

771
00:23:41,724 --> 00:23:42,823
others.

772
00:23:42,823 --> 00:23:43,985
- Are you guys talking about me?

773
00:23:43,985 --> 00:23:45,841
- We, uh, didn't want to say anything.

774
00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:47,308
- Yeah, that's why we said something.

775
00:23:47,308 --> 00:23:48,385
Fatty.

776
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:49,438
- Hey, back off, guys.

777
00:23:49,438 --> 00:23:50,545
I've been under a lot of stress.

778
00:23:50,545 --> 00:23:52,561
I've been carrying this
whole fucking team.

779
00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:54,440
- Where'd you carry us, to the buffet?

780
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,441
- He said it.

781
00:23:55,441 --> 00:23:56,921
- What are you guys doing up here, anyway?

782
00:23:56,921 --> 00:23:58,400
And what's that huge thing?

783
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,422
- That's Church.

784
00:23:59,422 --> 00:24:01,121
- He means the ship, Caboose!

785
00:24:01,121 --> 00:24:02,641
- He said it.

786
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:03,997
- The Reds called in a ship,
and it landed on Donut.

787
00:24:03,997 --> 00:24:07,219
Now they've got new
hardware and a new soldier.

788
00:24:07,219 --> 00:24:08,225
- Who, that girl?

789
00:24:08,225 --> 00:24:09,222
- What, girl?

790
00:24:09,222 --> 00:24:10,225
That's a girl?

791
00:24:10,225 --> 00:24:11,223
- Duh.

792
00:24:11,223 --> 00:24:12,225
The yellow one, right?

793
00:24:12,225 --> 00:24:13,223
The one talking to Simmons?

794
00:24:13,223 --> 00:24:15,223
- Wow, you have really good eyes.

795
00:24:15,223 --> 00:24:16,225
- I have to.

796
00:24:16,225 --> 00:24:18,145
I never get to use the
fucking sniper rifle.

797
00:24:18,145 --> 00:24:19,596
- You're positive that's a girl.

798
00:24:19,596 --> 00:24:20,924
How can you be sure?

799
00:24:20,924 --> 00:24:22,401
- Dude, look who you're talking to.

800
00:24:22,401 --> 00:24:25,404
- And now, Grif has asked to
say a few things about our

801
00:24:25,404 --> 00:24:26,622
beloved Sarge.

802
00:24:26,622 --> 00:24:27,761
- Hey, everybody.

803
00:24:27,761 --> 00:24:28,823
It's great to be here.

804
00:24:28,823 --> 00:24:32,124
Well, what can I say
about a guy like Sarge?

805
00:24:32,124 --> 00:24:34,343
I mean, besides good riddance.

806
00:24:34,343 --> 00:24:35,265
Hey-oh!

807
00:24:35,265 --> 00:24:36,743
(laughter)

808
00:24:36,743 --> 00:24:37,761
- Yeah.

809
00:24:37,761 --> 00:24:39,601
- But seriously, Sarge lived a great life.

810
00:24:39,601 --> 00:24:42,465
And now that he's dead, our
lives are pretty good, too.

811
00:24:42,465 --> 00:24:43,463
Zing!

812
00:24:43,463 --> 00:24:44,499
(laughing)

813
00:24:44,499 --> 00:24:45,964
You know what I'm talking about.

814
00:24:45,964 --> 00:24:48,158
- Come on, is this a
remembrance or a roast?

815
00:24:48,158 --> 00:24:49,265
- Quiet in the front row.

816
00:24:49,265 --> 00:24:52,081
And I'm not asking, and he's
not telling, but I heard when

817
00:24:52,081 --> 00:24:55,021
Donut first came to the base,
Sarge spent a lot of time

818
00:24:55,021 --> 00:24:57,121
talking about glazed donut holes, if

819
00:24:57,121 --> 00:24:58,180
you know what I mean.

820
00:24:58,180 --> 00:24:59,185
Hiyo!

821
00:24:59,185 --> 00:25:00,183
- Too soon.

822
00:25:00,183 --> 00:25:01,185
- Hey now.

823
00:25:01,185 --> 00:25:02,385
- This is the worst funeral I've ever had.

824
00:25:02,385 --> 00:25:04,781
You losers better step
up the crying, pronto.

825
00:25:04,781 --> 00:25:05,921
- Oh, don't worry, sir.

826
00:25:05,921 --> 00:25:07,836
I've written a stirring
speech that's sure to tug at

827
00:25:07,836 --> 00:25:09,143
everyone's heart strings.

828
00:25:09,143 --> 00:25:10,145
- Good to hear it.

829
00:25:10,145 --> 00:25:11,143
Now get with the eulogizing.

830
00:25:11,143 --> 00:25:12,145
- On it, sir.

831
00:25:12,145 --> 00:25:13,742
- And who could forget the
time Sarge showed us all how to

832
00:25:13,742 --> 00:25:14,764
field-strip Simmons-

833
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:15,745
- OK, that's enough.

834
00:25:15,745 --> 00:25:16,743
I said five minutes, Grif.

835
00:25:16,743 --> 00:25:17,745
- Bye, everybody.

836
00:25:17,745 --> 00:25:19,783
I'll be appearing at the
Laugh Cavern every Tuesday.

837
00:25:19,783 --> 00:25:20,924
Ladies drink free.

838
00:25:20,924 --> 00:25:21,757
- Woo-hoo!

839
00:25:21,757 --> 00:25:22,590
- Not you.

840
00:25:22,590 --> 00:25:23,441
- Aw.

841
00:25:23,441 --> 00:25:25,523
- OK, whatever. Get off.

842
00:25:25,523 --> 00:25:26,540
Hello, everyone.

843
00:25:26,540 --> 00:25:28,519
I'm here to say a few words
about our friend Sarge.

844
00:25:28,519 --> 00:25:29,516
- Boo!

845
00:25:29,516 --> 00:25:30,540
You suck.

846
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:31,534
- Grif, get off the stage.

847
00:25:31,534 --> 00:25:32,540
- Uh, sorry.

848
00:25:32,540 --> 00:25:34,167
- OK, like I was saying, I'm here to say a

849
00:25:34,167 --> 00:25:35,176
few words about Sarge.

850
00:25:35,176 --> 00:25:36,177
- Boo!

851
00:25:36,177 --> 00:25:37,180
You suck!

852
00:25:37,180 --> 00:25:39,392
- As you all know, Sarge
was a magnificent leader,

853
00:25:39,392 --> 00:25:41,450
and he was a great
inspiration to all his troops.

854
00:25:41,450 --> 00:25:42,593
- Simmons was right.

855
00:25:42,593 --> 00:25:44,311
This is so emotional.

856
00:25:44,311 --> 00:25:45,793
Where's my hanky?

857
00:25:45,793 --> 00:25:49,073
- He was a man of honor,
discipline, and character.

858
00:25:49,073 --> 00:25:51,815
- It's like he's saying
what we're all thinking.

859
00:25:51,815 --> 00:25:53,415
- If he was saying what I'm
thinking, he'd be yawning, is

860
00:25:53,415 --> 00:25:54,931
all I'm saying.

861
00:25:54,931 --> 00:25:56,252
- But perhaps his greatest accomplishment

862
00:25:56,252 --> 00:25:57,255
as a military man-

863
00:25:57,255 --> 00:25:58,252
- Tell it!

864
00:25:58,252 --> 00:25:59,255
- And a friend-

865
00:25:59,255 --> 00:26:00,252
- Preach on, preach on!

866
00:26:00,252 --> 00:26:01,633
- Was developing my
considerable skills as a

867
00:26:01,633 --> 00:26:02,711
soldier and a leader.

868
00:26:02,711 --> 00:26:03,713
- What?

869
00:26:03,713 --> 00:26:05,991
- As you all know, Sarge's
untimely demise leaves a gap

870
00:26:05,991 --> 00:26:08,172
in our command structure, a
gap that is best filled by

871
00:26:08,172 --> 00:26:10,529
Sarge's right-hand man, a man that has a

872
00:26:10,529 --> 00:26:12,105
vision for the Red Team.

873
00:26:12,105 --> 00:26:15,105
- Sarge, is, is he campaigning
for your job at your funeral?

874
00:26:15,105 --> 00:26:16,504
Classy.

875
00:26:16,504 --> 00:26:19,308
- The Red Army is faced with
a difficult choice, the choice

876
00:26:19,308 --> 00:26:21,022
of who will lead us to glorious victory.

877
00:26:21,022 --> 00:26:23,905
Let's hope they choose a great
candidate, a candidate whose

878
00:26:23,905 --> 00:26:25,708
armor is actually a shade of red.

879
00:26:25,708 --> 00:26:27,665
Sarge would have wanted it that way.

880
00:26:27,665 --> 00:26:28,923
Choose Simmons.

881
00:26:28,923 --> 00:26:31,002
It's the only thing Sarge
did in life, so don't let his

882
00:26:31,002 --> 00:26:32,625
whole existence be in vain.

883
00:26:32,625 --> 00:26:34,385
In closing, somebody died.

884
00:26:34,385 --> 00:26:35,465
Vote for me.

885
00:26:35,465 --> 00:26:37,025
- Awesome speech.

886
00:26:37,025 --> 00:26:38,545
- Is this the kind of
thing you guys do all day?

887
00:26:38,545 --> 00:26:39,548
- Pretty much.

888
00:26:39,548 --> 00:26:40,545
Just run with it.

889
00:26:40,545 --> 00:26:41,585
It's the only thing that keeps you from

890
00:26:41,585 --> 00:26:43,047
going insane from boredom.

891
00:26:43,047 --> 00:26:44,044
- Yeah.

892
00:26:44,044 --> 00:26:47,207
Or we could raid the medical
supplies for morphine.

893
00:26:47,207 --> 00:26:48,204
- Yeah.

894
00:26:48,204 --> 00:26:49,207
Wait, what?

895
00:26:49,207 --> 00:26:50,204
- Hey, Sister, you're up.

896
00:26:50,204 --> 00:26:51,244
- Awesome.

897
00:26:51,244 --> 00:26:53,447
- Ooh, ooh, ooh, can I go again?

898
00:26:53,447 --> 00:26:55,527
I just thought of a swear word
that rhymes with Kentucky.

899
00:26:55,527 --> 00:26:57,905
- You couldn't even wait for
me to be buried, could you?

900
00:26:57,905 --> 00:26:59,404
- Your death was in the past, Sarge.

901
00:26:59,404 --> 00:27:01,164
And we need to look to the
future, a future filled with

902
00:27:01,164 --> 00:27:02,167
Simmons.

903
00:27:02,167 --> 00:27:03,164
- Hey, everybody.

904
00:27:03,164 --> 00:27:08,164
Um, I'm new here, and I didn't
know Sergeant very well, but

905
00:27:08,586 --> 00:27:10,465
he was really old, and that's gross.

906
00:27:10,465 --> 00:27:11,884
- Ha ha, I wrote that line.

907
00:27:11,884 --> 00:27:13,644
- Grif, let other people
have the spotlight for once.

908
00:27:13,644 --> 00:27:16,065
- Anyway, when you're old and
gross, you're probably going

909
00:27:16,065 --> 00:27:17,944
to die, and that's kind of sad.

910
00:27:17,944 --> 00:27:19,564
But when you think about
it, all your friends are

911
00:27:19,564 --> 00:27:20,828
probably dead, too.

912
00:27:20,828 --> 00:27:22,643
And if they're not, then
they're definitely old, and

913
00:27:22,643 --> 00:27:24,828
knowing old people is even
sadder than being dead.

914
00:27:24,828 --> 00:27:26,465
So anyway, whatever.

915
00:27:26,465 --> 00:27:27,564
Peace out.

916
00:27:27,564 --> 00:27:29,468
- This is a miserable
excuse for a ceremony.

917
00:27:29,468 --> 00:27:31,004
Where's the flag folding?

918
00:27:31,004 --> 00:27:32,824
Where's the 21-gun salute?

919
00:27:32,824 --> 00:27:34,988
- Sir, the flag is an important
part of our inventory.

920
00:27:34,988 --> 00:27:36,887
We can't just go around having
impromptu foldings because we

921
00:27:36,887 --> 00:27:38,188
feel like it.

922
00:27:38,188 --> 00:27:39,944
- And I was in charge
of the 21-gun salute.

923
00:27:39,944 --> 00:27:42,385
Unfortunately, we don't have 21 guns.

924
00:27:42,385 --> 00:27:44,364
So you'll have to settle for what I call

925
00:27:44,364 --> 00:27:45,742
the double-bun salute.

926
00:27:45,742 --> 00:27:47,548
It starts in just a few moments.

927
00:27:47,548 --> 00:27:52,424
- (sigh) I'll just get in my grave now.

928
00:27:52,424 --> 00:27:53,788
- So this is it, Tucker.

929
00:27:53,788 --> 00:27:56,348
This is your little
monstrosity, your little

930
00:27:56,348 --> 00:27:58,181
abomination of nature.

931
00:28:00,303 --> 00:28:01,809
- Uh, what do I do?

932
00:28:01,809 --> 00:28:03,046
- Why are you asking me?

933
00:28:03,046 --> 00:28:04,222
- I don't know how to be a dad.

934
00:28:04,222 --> 00:28:05,383
This isn't the way I planned it.

935
00:28:05,383 --> 00:28:06,624
- You planned this?

936
00:28:06,624 --> 00:28:08,529
Tucker, I had no idea.

937
00:28:08,529 --> 00:28:09,527
- No, no.

938
00:28:09,527 --> 00:28:11,265
I mean, I always wanted to
have the ideal father/son

939
00:28:11,265 --> 00:28:12,284
relationship.

940
00:28:12,284 --> 00:28:14,305
You know, where I see him for
like eight hours every other

941
00:28:14,305 --> 00:28:16,403
weekend and send checks
to some woman I hate.

942
00:28:16,403 --> 00:28:18,364
- It's emotional conversations like this

943
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:19,623
that make me miss my mom.

944
00:28:19,623 --> 00:28:20,625
- All right, look.

945
00:28:20,625 --> 00:28:22,503
Let's leave these two alone,
let them do a little bonding.

946
00:28:22,503 --> 00:28:24,225
- Hey, don't leave me here with him.

947
00:28:24,225 --> 00:28:25,223
What am I supposed to say?

948
00:28:25,223 --> 00:28:26,727
- Ask him if he likes baseball.

949
00:28:26,727 --> 00:28:28,567
- It's an alien baby, Caboose.

950
00:28:28,567 --> 00:28:29,964
- Ask him if he likes tee ball.

951
00:28:29,964 --> 00:28:31,207
- Alien, Caboose.

952
00:28:31,207 --> 00:28:33,383
Alien was the key word in that sentence.

953
00:28:33,383 --> 00:28:35,383
- Seriously, don't go.

954
00:28:35,383 --> 00:28:36,705
I don't even know where to start.

955
00:28:36,705 --> 00:28:38,486
- Tucker, he's part of an alien race

956
00:28:38,486 --> 00:28:40,385
whose only purpose seems

957
00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,964
to be to tell huge, grandiose
lies to people so that they

958
00:28:43,964 --> 00:28:46,924
can seduce them and then impregnate them.

959
00:28:46,924 --> 00:28:49,101
So why don't you start with that?

960
00:28:49,101 --> 00:28:50,647
You know, common ground.

961
00:28:50,647 --> 00:28:52,183
- Yeah, I think I'll
just stick to baseball.

962
00:28:52,183 --> 00:28:54,423
- Tell him about how his dad
got to third base with you.

963
00:28:54,423 --> 00:28:55,256
- Caboose!

964
00:28:57,215 --> 00:28:59,383
- So how much oxygen do you
think Sarge has in his suit?

965
00:28:59,383 --> 00:29:00,401
- Oxygen?

966
00:29:00,401 --> 00:29:02,284
- Yeah, you know, to breathe and stuff.

967
00:29:02,284 --> 00:29:04,579
- Oh, you know, probably like
three hours, depending on his

968
00:29:04,579 --> 00:29:05,822
level of activity.

969
00:29:05,822 --> 00:29:07,281
- He's buried six feet underground.

970
00:29:07,281 --> 00:29:09,378
I don't think he's got
much chance for activities.

971
00:29:09,378 --> 00:29:10,903
- Well, I don't think you're an authority.

972
00:29:10,903 --> 00:29:11,999
- An authority?

973
00:29:11,999 --> 00:29:13,420
We didn't even use a coffin.

974
00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:14,881
We just threw a bunch of dirt on him.

975
00:29:14,881 --> 00:29:15,884
- No.

976
00:29:15,884 --> 00:29:17,037
I threw a bunch of dirt on him.

977
00:29:17,037 --> 00:29:18,958
You two only pretended to help
and made a bunch of digging

978
00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:20,303
noises with your mouth.

979
00:29:20,303 --> 00:29:21,378
- You know that trick?

980
00:29:21,378 --> 00:29:22,620
- I learned from the best.

981
00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:24,523
- Well, as your new commander,
you're both going to learn a

982
00:29:24,523 --> 00:29:25,761
little discipline.

983
00:29:25,761 --> 00:29:27,681
And we're going to start by
running laps around the base.

984
00:29:27,681 --> 00:29:29,340
Sister, you can do girly laps.

985
00:29:29,340 --> 00:29:30,903
- You mean after we dig up Sarge.

986
00:29:30,903 --> 00:29:32,503
- No, I mean right now, Grif.

987
00:29:32,503 --> 00:29:34,300
- What are girly laps?

988
00:29:34,300 --> 00:29:36,220
- Hey, Simmons, I don't think
Sarge is going to like you

989
00:29:36,220 --> 00:29:37,125
picking up his shotgun.

990
00:29:37,125 --> 00:29:37,958
(cocking shotgun)

991
00:29:37,958 --> 00:29:39,239
- And I really don't
think he's gonna like you

992
00:29:39,239 --> 00:29:40,497
threatening me with it.

993
00:29:40,497 --> 00:29:42,531
Well, OK, he might like that part.

994
00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:44,417
- As the new leader, what I say goes.

995
00:29:44,417 --> 00:29:47,276
So everyone needs to
start running right now.

996
00:29:47,276 --> 00:29:48,577
- But what about Sarge?

997
00:29:48,577 --> 00:29:49,715
- You heard what command said.

998
00:29:49,715 --> 00:29:50,712
Sarge is dead.

999
00:29:50,712 --> 00:29:52,277
He died of, what'd he die of?

1000
00:29:52,277 --> 00:29:54,017
- Aspirin overdoese.

1001
00:29:54,017 --> 00:29:56,439
- See, Sarge is dead of
a, an aspirin overdose?

1002
00:29:56,439 --> 00:29:57,457
Really?

1003
00:29:57,457 --> 00:29:59,415
- I know. I didn't think it was possible.

1004
00:29:59,415 --> 00:30:00,894
And trust me, I've tried.

1005
00:30:00,894 --> 00:30:02,439
- Yeah. Wait, what?

1006
00:30:02,439 --> 00:30:03,694
- Simmons, don't be stupid.

1007
00:30:03,694 --> 00:30:04,697
He's not dead.

1008
00:30:04,697 --> 00:30:06,577
He's just lying underground,
covered in dirt.

1009
00:30:06,577 --> 00:30:08,241
- If I say he's dead, he's dead.

1010
00:30:08,241 --> 00:30:09,783
I'm the leader. Me.

1011
00:30:09,783 --> 00:30:11,783
And being a leader means you
have to make tough decisions.

1012
00:30:11,783 --> 00:30:14,807
Like just for talking back,
you can't do girly laps.

1013
00:30:14,807 --> 00:30:17,262
- You've gone blind with
imaginary power, Simmons.

1014
00:30:17,262 --> 00:30:19,244
- Oh, on the contrary.

1015
00:30:19,244 --> 00:30:22,325
I think I've gone blind
with very real power.

1016
00:30:22,325 --> 00:30:24,807
- Seriously, what the fuck are girly laps?

1017
00:30:24,807 --> 00:30:26,503
- Both of you, shut up.

1018
00:30:26,503 --> 00:30:27,623
You're running.

1019
00:30:27,623 --> 00:30:29,084
I'm calling Red Command for confirmation.

1020
00:30:29,084 --> 00:30:31,003
- Why are you calling Red Command?

1021
00:30:31,003 --> 00:30:32,803
- For confirmation.

1022
00:30:32,803 --> 00:30:34,881
Stop asking questions.

1023
00:30:34,881 --> 00:30:36,202
- You keep talking about them.

1024
00:30:36,202 --> 00:30:37,703
Why don't you call our guys?

1025
00:30:37,703 --> 00:30:38,705
- Our guys?

1026
00:30:38,705 --> 00:30:39,703
- Yeah.

1027
00:30:39,703 --> 00:30:40,705
The Blue guys.

1028
00:30:40,705 --> 00:30:41,719
- Excuse me?

1029
00:30:41,719 --> 00:30:42,552
The whazzawha?

1030
00:30:42,552 --> 00:30:43,559
- The Blue guys.

1031
00:30:43,559 --> 00:30:45,857
The guys that sent me
here in the big ship.

1032
00:30:45,857 --> 00:30:46,859
- Grif?

1033
00:30:46,859 --> 00:30:47,980
- Uh, yeah.

1034
00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:50,801
This might be a bad time to
bring up the fact that my

1035
00:30:50,801 --> 00:30:52,279
sister is color-blind.

1036
00:30:52,279 --> 00:30:54,276
- What?
- I don't get it.

1037
00:30:54,276 --> 00:30:56,200
What's the gray guy so upset about?

1038
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,804
- But girls can't be color-blind!

1039
00:30:57,804 --> 00:30:58,821
- Yeah?

1040
00:30:58,821 --> 00:31:00,578
Well, they say girls
can't ejaculate, either.

1041
00:31:00,578 --> 00:31:01,601
But guess what?

1042
00:31:01,601 --> 00:31:03,223
- Yeah. Wait, what?

1043
00:31:03,223 --> 00:31:04,284
- I can't believe it.

1044
00:31:04,284 --> 00:31:06,743
With such a simple espionage
plan, the Blues have decimated

1045
00:31:06,743 --> 00:31:07,762
our forces.

1046
00:31:07,762 --> 00:31:09,124
Quick, quick, get me a shovel.

1047
00:31:09,124 --> 00:31:10,923
Oh, Sarge is going to be pissed.

1048
00:31:10,923 --> 00:31:13,185
- Hey, Simmons, if she's not
here for Sarge, who the hell

1049
00:31:13,185 --> 00:31:15,367
is she here to replace?

1050
00:31:15,367 --> 00:31:18,117
(Donut groaning)

1051
00:31:24,129 --> 00:31:25,462
- What happened?

1052
00:31:26,682 --> 00:31:27,599
Where am I?

1053
00:31:29,004 --> 00:31:30,764
Oh, maybe they know.

1054
00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:33,964
But it might be rude to wake them up.

1055
00:31:33,964 --> 00:31:35,400
I'll just wait here a while.

1056
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:37,564
- Oh my god, what's wrong with you?

1057
00:31:37,564 --> 00:31:39,084
Why didn't you tell us you were a Blue?

1058
00:31:39,084 --> 00:31:40,106
- Because.

1059
00:31:40,106 --> 00:31:41,943
- And don't say because nobody asked.

1060
00:31:41,943 --> 00:31:43,644
- But nobody did ask.

1061
00:31:43,644 --> 00:31:44,743
- God damn it.

1062
00:31:44,743 --> 00:31:45,745
- So what if she is a Blue?

1063
00:31:45,745 --> 00:31:46,743
We'll still keep her.

1064
00:31:46,743 --> 00:31:47,745
- We can't do that.

1065
00:31:47,745 --> 00:31:48,764
She's on the other team.

1066
00:31:48,764 --> 00:31:50,364
She'll kill us in our
sleep if we keep her.

1067
00:31:50,364 --> 00:31:51,527
- Do I get to do that?

1068
00:31:51,527 --> 00:31:52,865
That would be awesome!

1069
00:31:52,865 --> 00:31:54,044
- No, she wouldn't.

1070
00:31:54,044 --> 00:31:55,662
Besides, she's color-blind.

1071
00:31:55,662 --> 00:31:57,224
We'll just tell her we're Blues.

1072
00:31:57,224 --> 00:31:58,327
- Uh, hello.

1073
00:31:58,327 --> 00:31:59,399
We already told her we're Red?

1074
00:31:59,399 --> 00:32:00,404
Idiot.

1075
00:32:00,404 --> 00:32:02,225
- Yeah, well she's fucking dumb, too.

1076
00:32:02,225 --> 00:32:03,463
Hey, we're Blue now.

1077
00:32:03,463 --> 00:32:04,584
- Woo-hoo! Go Blue!

1078
00:32:04,584 --> 00:32:05,606
Let's win!

1079
00:32:05,606 --> 00:32:06,604
- See?

1080
00:32:06,604 --> 00:32:07,628
- Oh, please. She'll figure it out.

1081
00:32:07,628 --> 00:32:08,828
- No, she won't.

1082
00:32:08,828 --> 00:32:10,865
In high school, she got kicked
off of the cheerleading squad

1083
00:32:10,865 --> 00:32:13,105
three times for rooting
for the wrong team.

1084
00:32:13,105 --> 00:32:14,583
- No, she can't stay.

1085
00:32:14,583 --> 00:32:16,951
I know. We'll tell the Blues
that we took her prisoner.

1086
00:32:16,951 --> 00:32:18,791
Maybe we can get something
out of this mess.

1087
00:32:18,791 --> 00:32:20,245
- No way. We can't send her over there.

1088
00:32:20,245 --> 00:32:21,287
They'll kill her.

1089
00:32:21,287 --> 00:32:22,668
- Why would they kill her, Grif?

1090
00:32:22,668 --> 00:32:23,687
She's blue.

1091
00:32:23,687 --> 00:32:24,849
It's not like the Blue team goes around

1092
00:32:24,849 --> 00:32:26,028
killing its own members.

1093
00:32:26,028 --> 00:32:28,471
- Oh, right, because she's a Blue.

1094
00:32:28,471 --> 00:32:31,666
And if she's over there, then
the only people that would be

1095
00:32:31,666 --> 00:32:34,007
trying to kill her would be us.

1096
00:32:34,007 --> 00:32:35,125
- Exactly.

1097
00:32:35,125 --> 00:32:37,446
- And that means she'd be
safe because we're like the

1098
00:32:37,446 --> 00:32:38,908
shittiest team ever.

1099
00:32:38,908 --> 00:32:40,369
- Well, I don't know about that.

1100
00:32:40,369 --> 00:32:42,768
As our new leader, I have
some pretty bold plans-

1101
00:32:42,768 --> 00:32:44,084
- But you're not the leader.

1102
00:32:44,084 --> 00:32:45,511
It was a misunderstanding.

1103
00:32:45,511 --> 00:32:47,145
You're the guy who buried our leader.

1104
00:32:47,145 --> 00:32:48,727
- You helped. We're in this together.

1105
00:32:48,727 --> 00:32:50,508
- No, I made digging noises with my mouth.

1106
00:32:50,508 --> 00:32:51,505
Remember?

1107
00:32:51,505 --> 00:32:53,705
- Oh god! Get me a shovel!

1108
00:32:53,705 --> 00:32:54,844
- Yeah.

1109
00:32:54,844 --> 00:32:57,159
Um, OK, you're a Blue.

1110
00:32:57,159 --> 00:32:58,162
- Touchdown!

1111
00:32:58,162 --> 00:32:59,383
Woo-hoo! Go Blue!

1112
00:32:59,383 --> 00:33:02,640
- No, I mean, we're Red, but you're Blue.

1113
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,204
That means you've gotta get
out of here before Simmons

1114
00:33:04,204 --> 00:33:05,298
digs up Sarge.

1115
00:33:05,298 --> 00:33:06,541
- I love digging!

1116
00:33:06,541 --> 00:33:07,541
I want to help.

1117
00:33:07,541 --> 00:33:09,488
- No. You're leaving.

1118
00:33:09,488 --> 00:33:10,321
- Where are we going?

1119
00:33:10,321 --> 00:33:11,155
- The other base.

1120
00:33:11,155 --> 00:33:12,161
- The Red base?

1121
00:33:12,161 --> 00:33:13,201
- No, the Blue base.

1122
00:33:13,201 --> 00:33:14,343
- We have two bases?

1123
00:33:14,343 --> 00:33:15,340
Awesome.

1124
00:33:15,340 --> 00:33:16,903
- Move.

1125
00:33:16,903 --> 00:33:18,001
- Hey, have you guys seen Doc?

1126
00:33:18,001 --> 00:33:19,303
I need him to babysit for a while.

1127
00:33:19,303 --> 00:33:20,721
- Yeah, I got him talking to Sheila.

1128
00:33:20,721 --> 00:33:22,583
She's been acting real wacky lately.

1129
00:33:22,583 --> 00:33:25,041
- Oh yeah? You mean weirder
than your average talking tank?

1130
00:33:25,041 --> 00:33:26,097
- Don't be snarky.

1131
00:33:26,097 --> 00:33:27,100
- Sorry, dude.

1132
00:33:27,100 --> 00:33:28,097
It's the hormones.

1133
00:33:28,097 --> 00:33:29,100
I just had a baby.

1134
00:33:29,100 --> 00:33:31,697
- Yeah, Sheila's been acting
kind of distant and weird.

1135
00:33:31,697 --> 00:33:33,900
Plus she's been saying these
random threatening things.

1136
00:33:33,900 --> 00:33:35,841
Kind of reminds me of somebody else.

1137
00:33:35,841 --> 00:33:37,217
- So why is Doc talking to her?

1138
00:33:37,217 --> 00:33:39,260
- What, you didn't hear the
threatening part I just said?

1139
00:33:39,260 --> 00:33:40,321
I'm not going over there.

1140
00:33:40,321 --> 00:33:41,336
- Why not send Caboose?

1141
00:33:41,336 --> 00:33:42,881
Aren't they, like, in love or something?

1142
00:33:42,881 --> 00:33:45,116
- Dude, I have had about all
the cross-species babies that

1143
00:33:45,116 --> 00:33:46,632
I can take for a while.

1144
00:33:46,632 --> 00:33:48,689
The last thing I need is a
junior Caboose running around

1145
00:33:48,689 --> 00:33:51,335
with a 130-millimeter cannon for a head.

1146
00:33:51,335 --> 00:33:53,313
Your little devil spawn is enough for me.

1147
00:33:53,313 --> 00:33:54,716
- Don't talk about my kid like that!

1148
00:33:54,716 --> 00:33:55,713
- What's your deal?

1149
00:33:55,713 --> 00:33:56,727
- I don't know.

1150
00:33:56,727 --> 00:33:57,597
I think I'm kind of getting into this

1151
00:33:57,597 --> 00:33:58,698
whole parenting thing.

1152
00:33:58,698 --> 00:34:00,780
I caught myself looking
at minivans the other day.

1153
00:34:00,780 --> 00:34:02,001
Bleugh.

1154
00:34:02,001 --> 00:34:02,999
- Of course you are.

1155
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,700
That's why you need a
babysitter for a newborn.

1156
00:34:04,700 --> 00:34:06,940
I'll be sure to nominate
you for dad of the year.

1157
00:34:06,940 --> 00:34:07,943
- Don't judge me.

1158
00:34:07,943 --> 00:34:09,500
- Anyways, Doc's gonna figure
out what's wrong with her and

1159
00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:10,620
give her a little tune-up.

1160
00:34:10,620 --> 00:34:12,183
- But Doc's not a mechanic. He's a doctor.

1161
00:34:12,183 --> 00:34:13,863
Not a doctor, a medic.

1162
00:34:13,863 --> 00:34:16,300
Well, I guess he's not really
a medic, either, because he's

1163
00:34:16,300 --> 00:34:17,761
never really helped anyone.

1164
00:34:17,761 --> 00:34:19,703
He's just some annoying
guy that we know who

1165
00:34:19,703 --> 00:34:20,961
wears purple armor,

1166
00:34:20,961 --> 00:34:22,199
who's annoying.

1167
00:34:22,199 --> 00:34:23,975
Point is, Doc's not a mechanic.

1168
00:34:23,975 --> 00:34:25,098
- I know.

1169
00:34:25,098 --> 00:34:27,138
I figure Doc's mechanic skills
are probably about as bad as

1170
00:34:27,138 --> 00:34:28,959
his first aid skills.

1171
00:34:28,959 --> 00:34:30,999
He's either gonna fix her
by accident or make her

1172
00:34:30,999 --> 00:34:32,540
completely inoperable.

1173
00:34:32,540 --> 00:34:33,900
And then I can go down
there and figure out what's

1174
00:34:33,900 --> 00:34:34,919
really going on.

1175
00:34:34,919 --> 00:34:36,161
Either way, I win.

1176
00:34:36,161 --> 00:34:38,194
Oh, he might also get blown up by her.

1177
00:34:38,194 --> 00:34:39,201
That's also good.

1178
00:34:39,201 --> 00:34:40,321
- Yeah, maybe yoga lessons weren't such a

1179
00:34:40,321 --> 00:34:41,543
good idea after all.

1180
00:34:41,543 --> 00:34:42,983
Let's try some deep breathing.

1181
00:34:42,983 --> 00:34:47,420
In through the air filter,
out through the manifold.

1182
00:34:47,420 --> 00:34:51,753
In through the air filter,
out through the manifold.

1183
00:34:52,625 --> 00:34:53,458
Uh, OK.

1184
00:34:54,557 --> 00:34:56,681
Why don't we try some aversion therapy?

1185
00:34:56,681 --> 00:34:57,943
Think about something
that makes you really

1186
00:34:57,943 --> 00:35:00,241
angry that isn't me.

1187
00:35:00,241 --> 00:35:01,074
- Sure.

1188
00:35:02,945 --> 00:35:04,681
- Uh, yeah.

1189
00:35:04,681 --> 00:35:08,465
I don't feel as good about
my plan as I used to.

1190
00:35:08,465 --> 00:35:09,983
- Hey Blues!

1191
00:35:09,983 --> 00:35:11,361
- Oh crap, here we go.

1192
00:35:11,361 --> 00:35:12,703
They must have figured
out how fucked up our

1193
00:35:12,703 --> 00:35:13,699
team is right now.

1194
00:35:13,699 --> 00:35:14,532
Oh shit.

1195
00:35:15,462 --> 00:35:16,659
They even brought their new guy.

1196
00:35:16,659 --> 00:35:17,863
- Girl.
- Whatever!

1197
00:35:17,863 --> 00:35:19,025
Just play along.

1198
00:35:19,025 --> 00:35:20,823
Act like our team is OK, and we have

1199
00:35:20,823 --> 00:35:22,103
everything under control.

1200
00:35:22,103 --> 00:35:23,943
- Please, I've been putting on
that act for like three years

1201
00:35:23,943 --> 00:35:24,962
now.

1202
00:35:24,962 --> 00:35:25,943
- What do you want, Red?

1203
00:35:25,943 --> 00:35:27,287
- I got a prisoner for you.

1204
00:35:27,287 --> 00:35:28,420
- What'd he say?

1205
00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:29,687
- He says he as a prisoner for us.

1206
00:35:29,687 --> 00:35:31,345
- Oh, what, they're
giving us prisoners now?

1207
00:35:31,345 --> 00:35:32,924
Dude, that sounds like bullshit.

1208
00:35:32,924 --> 00:35:33,927
I smell a trap.

1209
00:35:33,927 --> 00:35:34,924
- Reds aren't that smart.

1210
00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:36,384
- OK, normally, I would agree with that.

1211
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:37,783
But this is the orange one.

1212
00:35:37,783 --> 00:35:39,131
He's pretty crafty. He's a lot like me.

1213
00:35:39,131 --> 00:35:40,044
- Like you?

1214
00:35:40,044 --> 00:35:42,058
Shit, then do I have time to
put in my ear plugs and hide

1215
00:35:42,058 --> 00:35:43,063
all our food?

1216
00:35:43,063 --> 00:35:44,182
- Up yours, dickhead.

1217
00:35:44,182 --> 00:35:46,199
Why would they want to
give us one of their guys?

1218
00:35:46,199 --> 00:35:47,196
- Why are you asking me?

1219
00:35:47,196 --> 00:35:49,399
- Oh, right. Why are you
giving us one of your guys

1220
00:35:49,399 --> 00:35:50,433
as a prisoner?

1221
00:35:50,433 --> 00:35:51,993
- She's one of your guys.

1222
00:35:51,993 --> 00:35:53,833
She came to our side by mistake.

1223
00:35:53,833 --> 00:35:55,011
What's their deal?

1224
00:35:55,011 --> 00:35:56,039
Why aren't they going for this?

1225
00:35:56,039 --> 00:35:57,045
We have to hurry.

1226
00:35:57,045 --> 00:35:58,916
I gotta get back before
Simmons digs up Sarge.

1227
00:35:58,916 --> 00:36:00,257
- I don't buy this.

1228
00:36:00,257 --> 00:36:01,596
What do you want for her?

1229
00:36:01,596 --> 00:36:03,596
- Um, nothing.

1230
00:36:03,596 --> 00:36:05,431
It was, it was an honest mistake.

1231
00:36:05,431 --> 00:36:07,095
Uh, you can have her back now.

1232
00:36:07,095 --> 00:36:08,695
No harm, no foul.

1233
00:36:08,695 --> 00:36:09,916
Look, can we hurry this up?

1234
00:36:09,916 --> 00:36:11,317
- Yeah, this is bullshit.

1235
00:36:11,317 --> 00:36:12,316
- Ask for something else.

1236
00:36:12,316 --> 00:36:14,759
- Uh, we want something else.

1237
00:36:14,759 --> 00:36:15,756
- What?

1238
00:36:15,756 --> 00:36:17,036
I'm releasing a hostage!

1239
00:36:17,036 --> 00:36:19,159
You don't negotiate up from there.

1240
00:36:19,159 --> 00:36:20,333
- Got any money?

1241
00:36:20,333 --> 00:36:21,694
- Fuck you, dude!

1242
00:36:21,694 --> 00:36:23,079
Get going.

1243
00:36:23,079 --> 00:36:24,754
Call me if you have any
problems and don't go near any

1244
00:36:24,754 --> 00:36:26,316
Reds from now one.

1245
00:36:26,316 --> 00:36:28,014
I'll try to keep our team
distracted so they can't

1246
00:36:28,014 --> 00:36:29,019
attack you.

1247
00:36:29,019 --> 00:36:30,876
Whatever you do, don't
embarrass the family.

1248
00:36:30,876 --> 00:36:31,911
Think of Mom.

1249
00:36:31,911 --> 00:36:33,537
- Don't do me any favors, bitch.

1250
00:36:33,537 --> 00:36:35,100
- What else was on the ship?

1251
00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:36,199
- What do you mean?

1252
00:36:36,199 --> 00:36:38,119
- Yeah, like guns or weapons.

1253
00:36:38,119 --> 00:36:39,637
- Or snacks!

1254
00:36:39,637 --> 00:36:41,799
Dude, I'm just asking
'cause I know you wanted to.

1255
00:36:41,799 --> 00:36:43,420
- Nope, just the girl.

1256
00:36:43,420 --> 00:36:44,540
Sorry.

1257
00:36:44,540 --> 00:36:46,577
There weren't any more
aliens for you guys to fuck.

1258
00:36:46,577 --> 00:36:47,580
- That's OK.

1259
00:36:47,580 --> 00:36:48,714
We can still fuck this one.

1260
00:36:48,714 --> 00:36:49,696
- Woo-hoo!

1261
00:36:49,696 --> 00:36:50,529
- God dammit!

1262
00:36:50,529 --> 00:36:51,681
Never mind. Just send her back.

1263
00:36:51,681 --> 00:36:52,620
- No take-backs.

1264
00:36:52,620 --> 00:36:53,943
- Aw, what the fuck?

1265
00:36:53,943 --> 00:36:55,140
- Oh my god, Grif, he's gone!

1266
00:36:55,140 --> 00:36:56,140
- Who's gone?

1267
00:36:56,140 --> 00:36:57,383
- Sarge. He's missing.

1268
00:36:57,383 --> 00:36:58,354
I dug up his grave, and he's not in there.

1269
00:36:58,354 --> 00:36:59,187
- What?

1270
00:36:59,187 --> 00:37:00,338
Did you dig in the right spot?

1271
00:37:00,338 --> 00:37:02,832
- Oh, you're right, maybe I dug up one of

1272
00:37:02,832 --> 00:37:05,810
the other fresh graves that we just made.

1273
00:37:05,810 --> 00:37:07,698
I didn't fucking think of that!

1274
00:37:07,698 --> 00:37:09,196
- Oh, calm down.

1275
00:37:09,196 --> 00:37:10,754
- Don't tell me to be calm!

1276
00:37:10,754 --> 00:37:12,055
We're down two men now!

1277
00:37:12,055 --> 00:37:13,714
Ah, at least we still
have the Blue prisoner

1278
00:37:13,714 --> 00:37:14,935
we can use as leverage.

1279
00:37:14,935 --> 00:37:16,695
Hey, what are you doing out
here in the middle of the

1280
00:37:16,695 --> 00:37:17,815
canyon?

1281
00:37:17,815 --> 00:37:19,255
- Uh, nothing.

1282
00:37:19,255 --> 00:37:21,113
So that, uh, that Sarge
thing's pretty crazy.

1283
00:37:21,113 --> 00:37:23,436
- Hey, is that your sister
over there with the Blues?

1284
00:37:23,436 --> 00:37:24,954
What's she doing over there?

1285
00:37:24,954 --> 00:37:27,756
- Well, uh, welcome to Blue Team.

1286
00:37:27,756 --> 00:37:29,996
I guess we should probably
give you, uh, some kind of

1287
00:37:29,996 --> 00:37:32,772
orientation or something like that.

1288
00:37:32,772 --> 00:37:35,532
So this is the, uh, this is the base here.

1289
00:37:35,532 --> 00:37:37,516
This is the outside of the base.

1290
00:37:37,516 --> 00:37:39,575
Inside's on the inside.

1291
00:37:39,575 --> 00:37:42,912
Go through that door right
there to get to the inside.

1292
00:37:42,912 --> 00:37:45,532
Um, there's a ramp over here.

1293
00:37:45,532 --> 00:37:48,030
There's another one on the other side.

1294
00:37:48,030 --> 00:37:49,132
It's kind of smaller.

1295
00:37:49,132 --> 00:37:50,652
It does the same thing, though.

1296
00:37:50,652 --> 00:37:52,455
Uh, it's got a basement.

1297
00:37:52,455 --> 00:37:55,895
Um, there's the middle part
and there's the top part.

1298
00:37:55,895 --> 00:38:00,895
We got some, you know, blue
flags here on the outside.

1299
00:38:01,052 --> 00:38:02,434
Those come in handy when you're,

1300
00:38:02,434 --> 00:38:05,276
you're trying to identify
the color of the base.

1301
00:38:05,276 --> 00:38:06,109
It's blue.

1302
00:38:07,036 --> 00:38:11,095
Anyway, that, uh, pretty much
covers the base, so anyway,

1303
00:38:11,095 --> 00:38:12,172
yeah, that's it.

1304
00:38:12,172 --> 00:38:13,175
- Cool.

1305
00:38:13,175 --> 00:38:14,893
- I'm Church. I'm the leader.

1306
00:38:14,893 --> 00:38:16,039
Everybody looks up to me.

1307
00:38:16,039 --> 00:38:18,018
Pretty much the only rules for
rookies on the Blue Team is,

1308
00:38:18,018 --> 00:38:19,836
don't kill the leader.

1309
00:38:19,836 --> 00:38:21,020
That's me.

1310
00:38:21,020 --> 00:38:22,034
- That's it?

1311
00:38:22,034 --> 00:38:23,033
- That's it.

1312
00:38:23,033 --> 00:38:24,036
- Sounds easy.

1313
00:38:24,036 --> 00:38:25,058
- Yeah, well, we're
still waiting for someone

1314
00:38:25,058 --> 00:38:26,178
to follow that rule.

1315
00:38:26,178 --> 00:38:27,916
So anyway, uh, tell me about yourself.

1316
00:38:27,916 --> 00:38:29,075
Well, what's your training?

1317
00:38:29,075 --> 00:38:30,074
- Training?

1318
00:38:30,074 --> 00:38:31,258
- Yeah. What have you been told so far?

1319
00:38:31,258 --> 00:38:32,262
- Oh, right.

1320
00:38:32,262 --> 00:38:34,402
That's the base, and
you're the leader, and I

1321
00:38:34,402 --> 00:38:35,463
shouldn't kill you.

1322
00:38:35,463 --> 00:38:36,482
Ever.

1323
00:38:36,482 --> 00:38:37,399
Did I pass?

1324
00:38:38,322 --> 00:38:39,155
- No, I mean like what kind of

1325
00:38:39,155 --> 00:38:40,642
military training do you have?

1326
00:38:40,642 --> 00:38:42,066
Weapons?

1327
00:38:42,066 --> 00:38:43,324
- Uh, those sound violent.

1328
00:38:43,324 --> 00:38:44,322
- Operations?

1329
00:38:44,322 --> 00:38:45,520
- I don't even know how that works.

1330
00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:46,599
- Communications?

1331
00:38:46,599 --> 00:38:47,599
- Say what?

1332
00:38:47,599 --> 00:38:49,122
- (sigh) Intelligence?

1333
00:38:49,122 --> 00:38:50,205
- Uh, uh-huh.

1334
00:38:51,223 --> 00:38:52,457
- (sigh) Great.

1335
00:38:52,457 --> 00:38:53,842
- Yeah, sorry.

1336
00:38:53,842 --> 00:38:56,658
Doesn't sound like I have any
of the skills you need, unless

1337
00:38:56,658 --> 00:38:58,675
you want to see my ping pong ball trick.

1338
00:38:58,675 --> 00:38:59,679
- Yeah.

1339
00:38:59,679 --> 00:39:00,596
Wait, what?

1340
00:39:03,687 --> 00:39:04,696
- Slow down.

1341
00:39:04,696 --> 00:39:05,863
- There's no time. Sarge is gone.

1342
00:39:05,863 --> 00:39:08,124
I was digging a hole,
and I kept digging, but

1343
00:39:08,124 --> 00:39:09,244
there was no Sarge.

1344
00:39:09,244 --> 00:39:10,887
And finally, I dug deep
enough, and I found another

1345
00:39:10,887 --> 00:39:12,044
hole.

1346
00:39:12,044 --> 00:39:13,463
- You dug a hole and found a hole?

1347
00:39:13,463 --> 00:39:15,026
Isn't that what a hole is?

1348
00:39:15,026 --> 00:39:16,023
- No, no, no.

1349
00:39:16,023 --> 00:39:17,026
I mean a hole at the bottom.

1350
00:39:17,026 --> 00:39:18,684
It opened into some kind of big cavern.

1351
00:39:18,684 --> 00:39:19,804
- A cavern?

1352
00:39:19,804 --> 00:39:20,887
A cavern like a cave?

1353
00:39:20,887 --> 00:39:22,221
Like a cave with bats?

1354
00:39:22,221 --> 00:39:23,220
- I don't know.

1355
00:39:23,220 --> 00:39:24,326
Why, are you afraid of bats or something?

1356
00:39:24,326 --> 00:39:25,323
- Afraid of bats?

1357
00:39:25,323 --> 00:39:26,326
No.

1358
00:39:26,326 --> 00:39:27,324
Why would I afraid of bats?

1359
00:39:27,324 --> 00:39:28,706
And why would you even ask that question?

1360
00:39:28,706 --> 00:39:30,066
Were there bats or something?

1361
00:39:30,066 --> 00:39:32,284
That's kind of a weird thing
to ask just for no reason.

1362
00:39:32,284 --> 00:39:33,778
- I didn't see any bats, OK?

1363
00:39:33,778 --> 00:39:34,924
- Did you hear any bats?

1364
00:39:34,924 --> 00:39:35,927
- No.

1365
00:39:35,927 --> 00:39:36,946
- Did you smell any bats?

1366
00:39:36,946 --> 00:39:38,343
- I don't know what bats smell like.

1367
00:39:38,343 --> 00:39:39,940
- Then let's hope you never find out.

1368
00:39:39,940 --> 00:39:41,442
Is it getting dark?

1369
00:39:41,442 --> 00:39:42,520
We should get inside.

1370
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:43,662
- It hasn't gotten in dark here in three

1371
00:39:43,662 --> 00:39:44,964
fucking years, asshole.

1372
00:39:44,964 --> 00:39:47,207
- And this is Tucker.

1373
00:39:47,207 --> 00:39:48,204
- 'Sup?

1374
00:39:48,204 --> 00:39:49,207
- Hey.

1375
00:39:49,207 --> 00:39:50,204
- Tucker's job is to do,

1376
00:39:50,204 --> 00:39:51,447
what?

1377
00:39:51,447 --> 00:39:52,903
I guess nothing.

1378
00:39:52,903 --> 00:39:53,906
- I'm just chilling.

1379
00:39:53,906 --> 00:39:56,006
That's the only rule on Blue Team, rookie.

1380
00:39:56,006 --> 00:39:57,080
Be cool.

1381
00:39:57,080 --> 00:39:59,004
- I thought the only rule
was, don't kill the leader.

1382
00:39:59,004 --> 00:40:00,743
- Yeah, but we break
that rule all the time.

1383
00:40:00,743 --> 00:40:02,384
That's what makes us so cool.

1384
00:40:02,384 --> 00:40:03,383
- Awesome.

1385
00:40:03,383 --> 00:40:04,684
On the Red Team, they break that rule-

1386
00:40:04,684 --> 00:40:05,863
- Blarg.

1387
00:40:05,863 --> 00:40:06,866
- Oh cool.

1388
00:40:06,866 --> 00:40:07,863
You have a dog?

1389
00:40:07,863 --> 00:40:09,223
- Uh, that's not a dog.

1390
00:40:09,223 --> 00:40:10,226
That's my kid.

1391
00:40:10,226 --> 00:40:11,223
- Oh cool!

1392
00:40:11,223 --> 00:40:12,546
You have a kid that looks like a dog?

1393
00:40:12,546 --> 00:40:13,546
- Nice save.

1394
00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:16,802
Oh hey, you know what?

1395
00:40:16,802 --> 00:40:18,610
I think I have the perfect
tour guide for you.

1396
00:40:18,610 --> 00:40:19,847
Hey, Caboose.

1397
00:40:19,847 --> 00:40:20,850
Come here.

1398
00:40:20,850 --> 00:40:22,621
- I thought about having a kid once.

1399
00:40:22,621 --> 00:40:23,649
- Oh really?

1400
00:40:23,649 --> 00:40:24,807
It's a lot of work.

1401
00:40:24,807 --> 00:40:26,518
- Yeah, it seems like it would be hard.

1402
00:40:26,518 --> 00:40:29,934
But I thought, you know, who
wants to be known as the girl

1403
00:40:29,934 --> 00:40:31,570
who's had seven abortions?

1404
00:40:31,570 --> 00:40:32,748
- Heh, yeah.

1405
00:40:32,748 --> 00:40:34,494
Wait, what?

1406
00:40:34,494 --> 00:40:35,506
- All right.

1407
00:40:35,506 --> 00:40:36,823
This is Caboose.

1408
00:40:36,823 --> 00:40:39,068
He can tell you everything you
possibly need to know about

1409
00:40:39,068 --> 00:40:40,130
Blue Base.

1410
00:40:40,130 --> 00:40:42,264
- Is she a mean girl or regular girl?

1411
00:40:42,264 --> 00:40:44,127
- Caboose, what did I tell you?

1412
00:40:44,127 --> 00:40:46,530
- That there are no regular girls.

1413
00:40:46,530 --> 00:40:47,607
- Exactly.

1414
00:40:47,607 --> 00:40:49,730
All right, so just stick with
him, ask him any questions you

1415
00:40:49,730 --> 00:40:52,701
have, and just don't bother me or Tucker.

1416
00:40:52,701 --> 00:40:53,785
- What do I tell her?

1417
00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,888
- Well, I already know the rule.

1418
00:40:55,888 --> 00:40:57,170
- I hate that stupid rule.

1419
00:40:57,170 --> 00:40:58,588
- Go show her Doc and Sheila.

1420
00:40:58,588 --> 00:41:00,554
- The purple one is Doc.

1421
00:41:00,554 --> 00:41:02,621
And the big one is Sheila.

1422
00:41:02,621 --> 00:41:04,706
- You know, I was really
wishing that would take longer

1423
00:41:04,706 --> 00:41:06,428
and further away.

1424
00:41:06,428 --> 00:41:07,506
- Who's the black one?

1425
00:41:07,506 --> 00:41:08,567
- The black one?

1426
00:41:08,567 --> 00:41:10,508
- Yeah, the one in the black armor, the

1427
00:41:10,508 --> 00:41:12,426
one standing right behind you guys?

1428
00:41:12,426 --> 00:41:14,247
- Yep, that's a hole all right.

1429
00:41:14,247 --> 00:41:15,306
- That's what I told you.

1430
00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:16,304
- Huh.

1431
00:41:16,304 --> 00:41:17,305
And Sarge's body is gone.

1432
00:41:17,305 --> 00:41:18,304
- Right.

1433
00:41:18,304 --> 00:41:19,663
I think he fell through
that hole into the cavern.

1434
00:41:19,663 --> 00:41:21,228
- Maybe he just disappeared.

1435
00:41:21,228 --> 00:41:23,170
Dead things do that when you bury them.

1436
00:41:23,170 --> 00:41:24,807
That's part of the
circle of life, you know.

1437
00:41:24,807 --> 00:41:26,526
It's a miracle, when you think about it.

1438
00:41:26,526 --> 00:41:28,786
No reason to go randomly
exploring caves, which may or

1439
00:41:28,786 --> 00:41:30,588
may not contain hundreds of evil bats.

1440
00:41:30,588 --> 00:41:32,929
That would just be interfering
with God's divine plan.

1441
00:41:32,929 --> 00:41:34,928
- OK, A, Sarge wasn't dead.

1442
00:41:34,928 --> 00:41:37,687
B, decomposing takes months, not minutes.

1443
00:41:37,687 --> 00:41:39,810
C, his armor would still be here.

1444
00:41:39,810 --> 00:41:41,207
And D, shut up.

1445
00:41:41,207 --> 00:41:42,347
You're going down there.

1446
00:41:42,347 --> 00:41:43,408
Now.

1447
00:41:43,408 --> 00:41:44,403
- Why?

1448
00:41:44,403 --> 00:41:45,491
What do we really need Sarge for, anyway?

1449
00:41:45,491 --> 00:41:48,130
All he ever did was yell at us
a bunch and tell us we suck.

1450
00:41:48,130 --> 00:41:49,388
We'll just split up his duties.

1451
00:41:49,388 --> 00:41:51,170
You yell at me, and
I'll tell you you suck.

1452
00:41:51,170 --> 00:41:53,287
- Shut up and get in the hole, Grif!

1453
00:41:53,287 --> 00:41:54,508
- You suck, Simmons.

1454
00:41:54,508 --> 00:41:57,810
Oh, man, this new system's
already working out great!

1455
00:41:57,810 --> 00:41:59,468
We should've thought of this years ago.

1456
00:41:59,468 --> 00:42:02,108
- Grif, don't you understand
that because we lost Sister,

1457
00:42:02,108 --> 00:42:03,170
we're horribly outnumbered?

1458
00:42:03,170 --> 00:42:04,908
We already lost Donut and Sarge.

1459
00:42:04,908 --> 00:42:06,083
Now it's four on two.

1460
00:42:06,083 --> 00:42:07,708
The Blues are probably
gearing up for an enormous

1461
00:42:07,708 --> 00:42:09,405
attack right now.

1462
00:42:09,405 --> 00:42:11,868
At any moment, they're going
to come over that hill, guns

1463
00:42:11,868 --> 00:42:14,035
blazing, yelling "Charge!"

1464
00:42:15,090 --> 00:42:16,407
- Retreat!

1465
00:42:16,407 --> 00:42:18,657
(shouting)

1466
00:42:22,044 --> 00:42:23,047
- Who is that?

1467
00:42:23,047 --> 00:42:24,044
- That's Tex.

1468
00:42:24,044 --> 00:42:25,322
- Whoa, he's a badass.

1469
00:42:25,322 --> 00:42:26,327
- Ow.

1470
00:42:26,327 --> 00:42:27,324
- He's kinda hot.

1471
00:42:27,324 --> 00:42:28,327
- Tex isn't a guy. She's a girl.

1472
00:42:28,327 --> 00:42:30,867
- Oh, sorry. She's a badass.

1473
00:42:30,867 --> 00:42:31,988
She's kinda hot.

1474
00:42:31,988 --> 00:42:33,890
- She's actually Church's ex-girlfriend.

1475
00:42:33,890 --> 00:42:35,128
- Oh yeah?

1476
00:42:35,128 --> 00:42:36,791
Why aren't you guys dating anymore?

1477
00:42:36,791 --> 00:42:39,788
- Are you seriously asking
that question right now?

1478
00:42:39,788 --> 00:42:42,428
- Last time I was shot,
I got a Purple Heart.

1479
00:42:42,428 --> 00:42:45,751
Yeah, I hope this time,
I get a Purple Lung.

1480
00:42:45,751 --> 00:42:47,730
You see, eventually, I,

1481
00:42:47,730 --> 00:42:51,527
I hope to build an entire Purple Person.

1482
00:42:51,527 --> 00:42:52,962
And we will be best friends.

1483
00:42:52,962 --> 00:42:54,525
- Maybe you should ask for a Purple Brain.

1484
00:42:54,525 --> 00:42:57,186
- You're just jealous
because you have no friends.

1485
00:42:57,186 --> 00:42:58,567
- Why is she shooting at us?

1486
00:42:58,567 --> 00:42:59,570
- How do I know?

1487
00:42:59,570 --> 00:43:01,228
And why are you acting
like this is unusual?

1488
00:43:01,228 --> 00:43:03,228
- Well, go out there and tell her to stop.

1489
00:43:03,228 --> 00:43:05,244
- Yeah. I'll get right on that.

1490
00:43:05,244 --> 00:43:07,981
- Uh, aren't you, like,
the leader or something?

1491
00:43:07,981 --> 00:43:09,804
- Uh, yeah, Sister, I am the leader.

1492
00:43:09,804 --> 00:43:12,508
Which is why I am officially
appointing you our field

1493
00:43:12,508 --> 00:43:13,524
negotiator.

1494
00:43:13,524 --> 00:43:14,523
- Awesome!

1495
00:43:14,523 --> 00:43:15,527
- Yes, congratulations.

1496
00:43:15,527 --> 00:43:16,524
We're all very proud of you.

1497
00:43:16,524 --> 00:43:20,188
Your first job is to get
Tex to stop firing at us.

1498
00:43:20,188 --> 00:43:21,487
- Cool.

1499
00:43:21,487 --> 00:43:24,967
Hey, Tex, stop shooting, you stupid bitch!

1500
00:43:24,967 --> 00:43:26,172
- Nice negotiating.

1501
00:43:26,172 --> 00:43:27,212
- She stopped firing.

1502
00:43:27,212 --> 00:43:28,551
I think that actually worked.

1503
00:43:28,551 --> 00:43:29,911
Maybe she's out of ammo.

1504
00:43:29,911 --> 00:43:31,308
Let me check.

1505
00:43:31,308 --> 00:43:33,650
(gunshot)

1506
00:43:33,650 --> 00:43:35,645
- Nope, she still has ammo.

1507
00:43:35,645 --> 00:43:37,052
- Nice recon work.

1508
00:43:37,052 --> 00:43:38,588
- I'm gonna go get my body back.

1509
00:43:38,588 --> 00:43:39,671
- Yeah, good idea.

1510
00:43:41,971 --> 00:43:46,412
- Aaagh, oof.

1511
00:43:48,745 --> 00:43:50,195
- Ta-da.

1512
00:43:50,195 --> 00:43:51,165
- Ugh.

1513
00:43:51,165 --> 00:43:52,168
You didn't have to push.

1514
00:43:52,168 --> 00:43:54,064
- Yeah, I didn't have
to, but it sure was fun.

1515
00:43:54,064 --> 00:43:57,046
I got a cool screenshot from
my visor of you flailing, too.

1516
00:43:57,046 --> 00:43:59,523
Guess who has a new desktop wallpaper?

1517
00:43:59,523 --> 00:44:01,085
This guy.

1518
00:44:01,085 --> 00:44:02,088
- Hey, Tucker.

1519
00:44:02,088 --> 00:44:03,085
Is my body on straight?

1520
00:44:03,085 --> 00:44:04,307
- Dude, I don't even know what that means.

1521
00:44:04,307 --> 00:44:05,507
- Freeze.

1522
00:44:05,507 --> 00:44:06,648
Nobody move.

1523
00:44:06,648 --> 00:44:07,987
- We're already not moving.

1524
00:44:07,987 --> 00:44:09,540
You could have just said,
everyone keep doing what

1525
00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:10,547
you're not doing.

1526
00:44:10,547 --> 00:44:11,544
- Shut up.

1527
00:44:11,544 --> 00:44:12,547
- Whatever.

1528
00:44:12,547 --> 00:44:13,624
- Tex, what is your problem?

1529
00:44:13,624 --> 00:44:16,664
- My problem is that O'Malley
isn't in Doc anymore.

1530
00:44:16,664 --> 00:44:19,827
He's jumped into somebody new,
and I'm not trusting anybody

1531
00:44:19,827 --> 00:44:21,266
until I find out who.

1532
00:44:21,266 --> 00:44:22,264
- Yeah.

1533
00:44:22,264 --> 00:44:23,485
We already know all that.

1534
00:44:23,485 --> 00:44:24,867
We're on top of the situation.

1535
00:44:24,867 --> 00:44:25,864
- You are?

1536
00:44:25,864 --> 00:44:27,448
Then who did O'Malley jump into?

1537
00:44:27,448 --> 00:44:28,463
- Oh.

1538
00:44:28,463 --> 00:44:29,464
Yeah, I meant,

1539
00:44:29,464 --> 00:44:31,005
I meant we were on top of
everything right up until that

1540
00:44:31,005 --> 00:44:32,008
point.

1541
00:44:32,008 --> 00:44:33,140
- Typical.
- Who's O'Malley?

1542
00:44:33,140 --> 00:44:35,123
- Ah, it's just some computer
program that wants to destroy

1543
00:44:35,123 --> 00:44:36,138
the universe.

1544
00:44:36,138 --> 00:44:37,885
He infects people around here
from time to time, but, eh,

1545
00:44:37,885 --> 00:44:39,041
it's no big deal.

1546
00:44:39,041 --> 00:44:40,045
- Sounds scary.

1547
00:44:40,045 --> 00:44:41,224
- No, it's all good, baby.

1548
00:44:41,224 --> 00:44:42,221
I'll protect you.

1549
00:44:42,221 --> 00:44:43,224
- Yeah.

1550
00:44:43,224 --> 00:44:44,984
That's what the last guy
said, and now I can't stop

1551
00:44:44,984 --> 00:44:46,000
scratching.

1552
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,101
- OK, never mind.

1553
00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:49,443
- None of us are infected,
Tex, but I am a little worried

1554
00:44:49,443 --> 00:44:50,642
about the tank.

1555
00:44:50,642 --> 00:44:52,061
She's been acting really weird lately.

1556
00:44:52,061 --> 00:44:54,394
Can an AI implant in a, Tex?

1557
00:44:55,907 --> 00:44:57,027
- Who's the girl?

1558
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,504
- What? Who, Sister?

1559
00:44:58,504 --> 00:45:00,088
Oh, she's just a new recruit.

1560
00:45:00,088 --> 00:45:04,067
- You mean to tell me I'm
only gone a few weeks,

1561
00:45:04,067 --> 00:45:07,027
and you guys get yourselves a new girl?

1562
00:45:07,027 --> 00:45:08,046
- Oh.

1563
00:45:08,046 --> 00:45:09,107
Um-

1564
00:45:09,107 --> 00:45:10,345
- Whoa.

1565
00:45:10,345 --> 00:45:11,709
Tread lightly, dude.

1566
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:12,876
Tread lightly.

1567
00:45:13,971 --> 00:45:18,345
- Yeoww, what in the,
stupid Grif and Simmons,

1568
00:45:18,345 --> 00:45:20,493
can't even build a regulation grave.

1569
00:45:20,493 --> 00:45:22,269
What did we run all those drills for?

1570
00:45:22,269 --> 00:45:25,069
So this is the afterlife, huh?

1571
00:45:25,069 --> 00:45:26,089
Heh.

1572
00:45:26,089 --> 00:45:28,328
Not too impressive, if you ask me.

1573
00:45:28,328 --> 00:45:29,853
This place is a wreck.

1574
00:45:29,853 --> 00:45:31,533
Who's in charge here, anyway?

1575
00:45:31,533 --> 00:45:34,028
Need to get me a couple
Marine angels, get this place

1576
00:45:34,028 --> 00:45:35,851
spick-and-span in no time.

1577
00:45:35,851 --> 00:45:39,032
You know, that I think about
it, I don't seem to remember

1578
00:45:39,032 --> 00:45:42,232
much about underground caves
in the Bible, not even in that

1579
00:45:42,232 --> 00:45:45,610
new Bible they rewrote in
2040, with that big chase

1580
00:45:45,610 --> 00:45:47,896
scene and that weird cameo by Ben Stiller.

1581
00:45:47,896 --> 00:45:49,291
That guy's a nut.

1582
00:45:49,291 --> 00:45:50,733
Wait a minute, afterlife,

1583
00:45:50,733 --> 00:45:53,872
underground cave, what
if this isn't heaven?

1584
00:45:53,872 --> 00:45:56,653
What if it's, no, it couldn't be.

1585
00:45:56,653 --> 00:45:57,672
Could it?

1586
00:45:57,672 --> 00:45:59,133
- Oh, hey, Sarge.

1587
00:45:59,133 --> 00:46:00,616
What are you doing down here?

1588
00:46:00,616 --> 00:46:01,752
- It is!

1589
00:46:01,752 --> 00:46:02,585
Oh, it is.

1590
00:46:05,648 --> 00:46:08,333
- Oh man. This is not going
to work out well for us.

1591
00:46:08,333 --> 00:46:09,387
- Dude, are you kidding?

1592
00:46:09,387 --> 00:46:11,133
We finally have two girls on our team.

1593
00:46:11,133 --> 00:46:12,371
You know what that means.

1594
00:46:12,371 --> 00:46:14,989
- Yeah, coed softball team.

1595
00:46:14,989 --> 00:46:17,468
I'm going to go get my baseball racket.

1596
00:46:17,468 --> 00:46:19,331
- Tucker, I know what you're
thinking, and it's not gonna

1597
00:46:19,331 --> 00:46:20,333
happen.

1598
00:46:20,333 --> 00:46:21,331
- Oh, why not?

1599
00:46:21,331 --> 00:46:22,333
- Because girls can't share

1600
00:46:22,333 --> 00:46:23,971
anything, not even an apartment.

1601
00:46:23,971 --> 00:46:26,589
Every time girls live
together, within six months,

1602
00:46:26,589 --> 00:46:28,771
they all hate each other, and
somebody gets stuck with a

1603
00:46:28,771 --> 00:46:30,045
$1,200 phone bill.

1604
00:46:30,045 --> 00:46:31,424
That's fact.

1605
00:46:31,424 --> 00:46:32,589
- Ah, let them fight.

1606
00:46:32,589 --> 00:46:34,589
As long as we get to watch
the making up, who cares?

1607
00:46:34,589 --> 00:46:36,627
We can even record it and
sell copies to the Reds.

1608
00:46:36,627 --> 00:46:37,460
- No!

1609
00:46:38,445 --> 00:46:39,278
Moan.

1610
00:46:40,365 --> 00:46:41,920
- It's been crazy down here, Sarge.

1611
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:42,909
(Sarge moaning)
- You wouldn't believe

1612
00:46:42,909 --> 00:46:44,167
all the stuff I found.

1613
00:46:44,167 --> 00:46:45,645
- Sorrowful sounds.

1614
00:46:45,645 --> 00:46:47,478
Pleas for forgiveness!

1615
00:46:48,312 --> 00:46:49,768
- Sarge, keep it down.

1616
00:46:49,768 --> 00:46:50,771
- I have sinned.

1617
00:46:50,771 --> 00:46:51,832
- We don't want them to hear you.

1618
00:46:51,832 --> 00:46:54,051
- Donut, don't interrupt
my repentful mourning.

1619
00:46:54,051 --> 00:46:55,949
If I want God to forgive
me, I need to be as

1620
00:46:55,949 --> 00:46:57,406
miserable as possible.

1621
00:46:57,406 --> 00:46:58,467
He loves that stuff.

1622
00:46:58,467 --> 00:46:59,747
- This isn't hell, Sarge.

1623
00:46:59,747 --> 00:47:01,067
And you're not dead.

1624
00:47:01,067 --> 00:47:02,648
- Repent! Repent!

1625
00:47:02,648 --> 00:47:04,426
- Come on, Sarge, be quiet.

1626
00:47:04,426 --> 00:47:06,291
I've been exploring down here,
and I've found some really

1627
00:47:06,291 --> 00:47:07,747
crazy stuff.

1628
00:47:07,747 --> 00:47:08,749
Look.

1629
00:47:08,749 --> 00:47:10,547
- Why, that port looks like a blue base.

1630
00:47:10,547 --> 00:47:13,171
And just when I thought
hell couldn't get any worse.

1631
00:47:13,171 --> 00:47:14,707
- Yeah, but look at that.

1632
00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,088
- What in the hell is that thing?

1633
00:47:16,088 --> 00:47:17,907
- I don't know, but it
sure looks a lot like the

1634
00:47:17,907 --> 00:47:20,531
motorcycle I found in a cave upstairs.

1635
00:47:20,531 --> 00:47:22,131
- Donut, why didn't you report this?

1636
00:47:22,131 --> 00:47:23,128
- I couldn't.

1637
00:47:23,128 --> 00:47:24,771
My radio broke when I fell.

1638
00:47:24,771 --> 00:47:26,429
(radio interference)

1639
00:47:26,429 --> 00:47:27,650
- Come in, Sarge. Are you there?

1640
00:47:27,650 --> 00:47:29,187
- Hello. Is that you, Simmons?

1641
00:47:29,187 --> 00:47:31,245
- No, I'm Donut.

1642
00:47:31,245 --> 00:47:33,427
Did you get amnesia from
your fall or something?

1643
00:47:33,427 --> 00:47:34,584
- Shut up, Donut.

1644
00:47:34,584 --> 00:47:35,826
- Uh, OK.

1645
00:47:35,826 --> 00:47:37,304
- Sarge, we're down in the cave with you.

1646
00:47:37,304 --> 00:47:38,307
Are you OK?

1647
00:47:38,307 --> 00:47:39,405
Please tell me you're OK.

1648
00:47:39,405 --> 00:47:40,408
- I'm fine.

1649
00:47:40,408 --> 00:47:41,405
What's your location?

1650
00:47:41,405 --> 00:47:43,481
- I'm standing right here, next to you.

1651
00:47:43,481 --> 00:47:44,487
- Shut up!

1652
00:47:44,487 --> 00:47:45,485
- We're looking for you right now.

1653
00:47:45,485 --> 00:47:46,488
This place is huge.

1654
00:47:46,488 --> 00:47:48,045
Grif is with me, and we're
up on top of some kind of

1655
00:47:48,045 --> 00:47:49,224
peninsular outcropping.

1656
00:47:49,224 --> 00:47:51,245
- Uh, you're on top of Grif's what?

1657
00:47:51,245 --> 00:47:52,824
- Grif isn't anywhere around here.

1658
00:47:52,824 --> 00:47:54,904
- Donut, I told you to be quiet.

1659
00:47:54,904 --> 00:47:56,626
- Well, stop asking me stuff, then.

1660
00:47:56,626 --> 00:47:59,048
- No, we're on a peninsular
ledge, trying to find you.

1661
00:47:59,048 --> 00:48:00,045
- Roger that.

1662
00:48:00,045 --> 00:48:01,048
I've got Donut.

1663
00:48:01,048 --> 00:48:02,045
You sit tight, and we'll find you.

1664
00:48:02,045 --> 00:48:03,048
- Roger that.

1665
00:48:03,048 --> 00:48:04,045
Simmons out.

1666
00:48:04,045 --> 00:48:05,062
- Dude, what was all that stuff about your

1667
00:48:05,062 --> 00:48:06,067
penis ruler?

1668
00:48:06,067 --> 00:48:07,222
- I was just talking to
Simmons on the radio.

1669
00:48:07,222 --> 00:48:08,555
- Oh, the radio.

1670
00:48:09,528 --> 00:48:10,947
- I told them to hold still.

1671
00:48:10,947 --> 00:48:11,961
We'll come to them.

1672
00:48:11,961 --> 00:48:13,481
- Sarge, I don't think
you realize just how

1673
00:48:13,481 --> 00:48:14,900
big this place is.

1674
00:48:14,900 --> 00:48:17,784
There's no landmarks or
anything, just one rock after

1675
00:48:17,784 --> 00:48:19,859
another that all look the same.

1676
00:48:19,859 --> 00:48:21,859
Finding them will be like
finding a needle in a

1677
00:48:21,859 --> 00:48:22,856
haystack.

1678
00:48:22,856 --> 00:48:25,277
- They said they were standing
on some kind of a penis-

1679
00:48:25,277 --> 00:48:26,739
- Oh, I know where that is.

1680
00:48:26,739 --> 00:48:27,736
Let's go.

1681
00:48:27,736 --> 00:48:28,917
- I heard something that time.

1682
00:48:28,917 --> 00:48:30,077
- You didn't hear anything.

1683
00:48:30,077 --> 00:48:30,997
(distant drip)

1684
00:48:30,997 --> 00:48:32,096
- There, did you hear that?

1685
00:48:32,096 --> 00:48:33,099
- Yes.

1686
00:48:33,099 --> 00:48:34,096
I heard water dripping.

1687
00:48:34,096 --> 00:48:35,099
- Sounds like bats.

1688
00:48:35,099 --> 00:48:36,656
- Bats aren't made of liquid.

1689
00:48:36,656 --> 00:48:38,597
Bats don't drip.

1690
00:48:38,597 --> 00:48:39,600
- Bat water.

1691
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:40,616
- There are no bats!

1692
00:48:40,616 --> 00:48:41,615
- You don't know.

1693
00:48:41,615 --> 00:48:42,618
What if you're wrong?

1694
00:48:42,618 --> 00:48:43,616
- OK, idiot.

1695
00:48:43,616 --> 00:48:44,619
Let's assume I'm wrong.

1696
00:48:44,619 --> 00:48:45,696
Let's assume there are bats.

1697
00:48:45,696 --> 00:48:46,699
So what?

1698
00:48:46,699 --> 00:48:50,281
You're wearing state of the
art biomechanical body armor.

1699
00:48:50,281 --> 00:48:52,816
It's designed to deflect
bullets and absorb explosions.

1700
00:48:52,816 --> 00:48:55,797
What can a five-ounce
flying rodent possibly do?

1701
00:48:55,797 --> 00:48:59,200
- So basically, you're saying
that you think there's bats.

1702
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:00,216
- Sure.

1703
00:49:00,216 --> 00:49:01,221
Why not?

1704
00:49:01,221 --> 00:49:02,219
- I'm getting the fuck out of here.

1705
00:49:02,219 --> 00:49:03,221
- No you're not, Grif.

1706
00:49:03,221 --> 00:49:04,219
We're standing right here.

1707
00:49:04,219 --> 00:49:06,661
I told Sarge we wouldn't
move, and we're not moving.

1708
00:49:06,661 --> 00:49:08,459
- At least let's go stand by the light.

1709
00:49:08,459 --> 00:49:10,939
- No, that would be moving and
thus would violate our strict

1710
00:49:10,939 --> 00:49:12,379
no moving policy.

1711
00:49:12,379 --> 00:49:13,419
- But the light would-

1712
00:49:13,419 --> 00:49:14,558
- No.
- Help us see the bats.

1713
00:49:14,558 --> 00:49:15,840
- No.
- And their fangs.

1714
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:16,843
- No!

1715
00:49:16,843 --> 00:49:18,944
- Hey, you know what else
might be in the cave, Simmons?

1716
00:49:18,944 --> 00:49:20,039
Snakes.

1717
00:49:20,039 --> 00:49:21,502
- You're an asshole, Grif.

1718
00:49:21,502 --> 00:49:22,661
Why would you bring up snakes?

1719
00:49:22,661 --> 00:49:25,101
- I'm just saying, I know you
don't like snakes, and snakes

1720
00:49:25,101 --> 00:49:27,822
do live in caves, and we are
in a cave, and snakes like to

1721
00:49:27,822 --> 00:49:29,857
crawl right up next to people
in caves, and then they-

1722
00:49:29,857 --> 00:49:31,024
- All right, screw it.

1723
00:49:31,024 --> 00:49:32,763
I'm going to go stand by the light.

1724
00:49:32,763 --> 00:49:33,798
- OK, I talked to Sheila.

1725
00:49:33,798 --> 00:49:34,800
You guys were right.

1726
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:36,400
She definitely seems a little odd.

1727
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:37,413
- Yup.

1728
00:49:37,413 --> 00:49:38,418
So what do you think?

1729
00:49:38,418 --> 00:49:40,219
- I think she seems like
there's something wrong.

1730
00:49:40,219 --> 00:49:41,499
- That's your diagnosis?

1731
00:49:41,499 --> 00:49:43,918
That's why you sent you down
there, man, because we knew

1732
00:49:43,918 --> 00:49:45,200
something was wrong.

1733
00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:46,421
- I'm a medic.

1734
00:49:46,421 --> 00:49:47,424
What do you want from me?

1735
00:49:47,424 --> 00:49:48,421
- How about fixing her?

1736
00:49:48,421 --> 00:49:49,758
- Well, surprisingly, my
medical training didn't really

1737
00:49:49,758 --> 00:49:51,520
cover internal combustion.

1738
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,024
- What a shitty medical school.

1739
00:49:53,024 --> 00:49:54,901
- Yeah, where'd you go,
the University of Jamaica?

1740
00:49:54,901 --> 00:49:55,904
- Oh, please.

1741
00:49:55,904 --> 00:49:57,360
I wouldn't be caught dead on that campus.

1742
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:58,864
I went to Jamaica State.

1743
00:49:58,864 --> 00:50:00,923
We were the Jamaica State Fighting Irish.

1744
00:50:00,923 --> 00:50:01,920
- That's Notre Dame.

1745
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:03,984
- Well, since we're
international, we don't really

1746
00:50:03,984 --> 00:50:06,181
have to adhere to the
stringent US copyright laws,

1747
00:50:06,181 --> 00:50:07,184
so-

1748
00:50:07,184 --> 00:50:08,181
- Never mind.

1749
00:50:08,181 --> 00:50:09,861
Just go back down there and
see if you can reboot Sheila.

1750
00:50:09,861 --> 00:50:10,864
- Reboot her?

1751
00:50:10,864 --> 00:50:11,861
- Yeah, dude.

1752
00:50:11,861 --> 00:50:12,864
That's how you fix broken stuff.

1753
00:50:12,864 --> 00:50:14,843
You turn her off, and then
you turn her back on again.

1754
00:50:14,843 --> 00:50:15,840
She'll be fine.

1755
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:16,843
- I don't think that'll work.

1756
00:50:16,843 --> 00:50:17,937
- Uh, pardon me, it works great.

1757
00:50:17,937 --> 00:50:19,440
We already rebooted the toaster.

1758
00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:21,119
We rebooted the teleporter.

1759
00:50:21,119 --> 00:50:23,040
- Yeah, I still don't know if
that thing has all the bugs

1760
00:50:23,040 --> 00:50:24,043
worked out.

1761
00:50:24,043 --> 00:50:26,464
- We even rebooted Caboose's
armor once, although that took

1762
00:50:26,464 --> 00:50:28,043
a lot longer to come back
online than we thought it

1763
00:50:28,043 --> 00:50:29,104
would.

1764
00:50:29,104 --> 00:50:31,104
- It was dark, and I
got to hold my breath.

1765
00:50:31,104 --> 00:50:33,024
I'm pretty sure there was no side effects.

1766
00:50:33,024 --> 00:50:35,141
- No, I mean I don't think
it will work because I'm not

1767
00:50:35,141 --> 00:50:36,398
going back down there.

1768
00:50:36,398 --> 00:50:37,963
She's not exactly in the best of moods.

1769
00:50:37,963 --> 00:50:38,796
See?

1770
00:50:40,043 --> 00:50:42,240
- Yeah, we need to get
someone sneaky down there

1771
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:43,262
who can turn her off.

1772
00:50:43,262 --> 00:50:44,260
- How about Tucker?

1773
00:50:44,260 --> 00:50:45,621
- Who, me? No way.

1774
00:50:45,621 --> 00:50:46,683
I'm a lover, not a sneaker.

1775
00:50:46,683 --> 00:50:48,160
- Oh, that's your response to everything.

1776
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:49,179
- What can I tell you?

1777
00:50:49,179 --> 00:50:50,320
I'm a lover, not a thinker.

1778
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:51,355
How about Tex?

1779
00:50:51,355 --> 00:50:52,438
- Yeah, we couldn't afford it.

1780
00:50:52,438 --> 00:50:54,576
If only we knew someone
that Sheila trusted.

1781
00:50:54,576 --> 00:50:57,440
And it would have to be
someone kind of dumb so that

1782
00:50:57,440 --> 00:50:59,584
we could fool them into betraying that

1783
00:50:59,584 --> 00:51:01,501
trust for our purposes.

1784
00:51:03,024 --> 00:51:04,043
- Hey.

1785
00:51:04,043 --> 00:51:06,843
Everyone is looking at me.

1786
00:51:06,843 --> 00:51:08,800
I love when they do that.

1787
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:09,967
Hi, everybody.

1788
00:51:13,379 --> 00:51:14,383
- See?

1789
00:51:14,383 --> 00:51:16,123
And these are the two bodies
I was telling you about.

1790
00:51:16,123 --> 00:51:17,984
At first, I thought they were
sleeping, but then I realized

1791
00:51:17,984 --> 00:51:19,840
they were dead.

1792
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:20,880
- The Blues never sleep.

1793
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:23,083
They're too busy plotting
to destroy our way of life.

1794
00:51:23,083 --> 00:51:25,584
That's how you can always
spot a Blue, Donut.

1795
00:51:25,584 --> 00:51:28,384
They're always the ones
conniving and scheming.

1796
00:51:28,384 --> 00:51:29,840
Sometimes they do both.

1797
00:51:29,840 --> 00:51:31,701
I call that schenniving.

1798
00:51:31,701 --> 00:51:32,944
- And you know what else?

1799
00:51:32,944 --> 00:51:34,619
You can also tell they're Blue
because of their blue armor.

1800
00:51:34,619 --> 00:51:35,983
- Yeah, that too.

1801
00:51:35,983 --> 00:51:38,960
You know, at first, I thought
this cave was pretty dismal.

1802
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:41,243
But it's amazing how a couple
of Blue corpses can really

1803
00:51:41,243 --> 00:51:43,904
spruce up the place,
make it feel like home.

1804
00:51:43,904 --> 00:51:46,101
- Yeah, we could hang a couple of drapes,

1805
00:51:46,101 --> 00:51:47,504
get some wicker chairs.

1806
00:51:47,504 --> 00:51:50,254
Ah, this place will be fantastic.

1807
00:51:52,123 --> 00:51:54,304
Everything OK, Sarge?

1808
00:51:54,304 --> 00:51:55,904
- What?

1809
00:51:55,904 --> 00:51:56,901
Oh yeah.

1810
00:51:56,901 --> 00:51:59,698
It's just that I can't shake
this feeling, the feeling that

1811
00:51:59,698 --> 00:52:01,365
we're being watched!

1812
00:52:02,821 --> 00:52:03,738
Ha! Gotcha!

1813
00:52:04,637 --> 00:52:05,470
Oh, son of a-

1814
00:52:05,470 --> 00:52:06,880
- Um, that was pretty dramatic.

1815
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:08,880
- Yeah, it usually works better
if someone is standing there

1816
00:52:08,880 --> 00:52:09,941
when I do that.

1817
00:52:09,941 --> 00:52:12,181
Kind of like now!

1818
00:52:12,181 --> 00:52:13,344
Dammit.

1819
00:52:13,344 --> 00:52:15,563
I'm normally not wrong
about this kind of thing!

1820
00:52:15,563 --> 00:52:16,816
Hello!

1821
00:52:16,816 --> 00:52:17,904
(muttering)

1822
00:52:17,904 --> 00:52:19,117
- Oh, do you have a good sixth sense?

1823
00:52:19,117 --> 00:52:20,181
- No, stupid.

1824
00:52:20,181 --> 00:52:21,838
Motion-activated proximity radar.

1825
00:52:21,838 --> 00:52:23,237
It's standard issue.

1826
00:52:23,237 --> 00:52:24,997
I guess I need to get mine calibrated.

1827
00:52:24,997 --> 00:52:27,747
Hey, what the heck is that thing?

1828
00:52:30,736 --> 00:52:32,379
- Sarge should be able
to see us here, right?

1829
00:52:32,379 --> 00:52:33,442
- Yeah, who cares?

1830
00:52:33,442 --> 00:52:35,317
Hey, Simmons, I was thinking,
if we're in a cave, why are

1831
00:52:35,317 --> 00:52:36,677
there lights down here?

1832
00:52:36,677 --> 00:52:38,398
- That's a pretty good point, Grif.

1833
00:52:38,398 --> 00:52:40,037
- What the, are you OK?

1834
00:52:40,037 --> 00:52:41,458
- Yeah, why do you ask?

1835
00:52:41,458 --> 00:52:42,619
- Huh.

1836
00:52:42,619 --> 00:52:44,101
You got a pink thing on you.

1837
00:52:44,101 --> 00:52:45,339
- What?

1838
00:52:45,339 --> 00:52:47,014
Like a snake?

1839
00:52:47,014 --> 00:52:47,931
Dammit all.

1840
00:52:49,637 --> 00:52:50,470
- Simmons?

1841
00:52:51,941 --> 00:52:52,774
Simmons?

1842
00:52:54,299 --> 00:52:55,132
Huh?

1843
00:52:56,619 --> 00:52:57,452
Ow.

1844
00:52:59,077 --> 00:52:59,910
Ow!

1845
00:53:01,414 --> 00:53:03,597
- Well, I suppose I should
figure out a way to get Tex to

1846
00:53:03,597 --> 00:53:05,179
reboot Sheila.

1847
00:53:05,179 --> 00:53:06,640
Man, I'm going to have to call
in a lot of favors for this

1848
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:07,636
one.

1849
00:53:07,636 --> 00:53:08,981
- What favors could you
possibly have stored up with

1850
00:53:08,981 --> 00:53:10,101
someone who dumped you?

1851
00:53:10,101 --> 00:53:11,419
- She didn't dump me, Tucker.

1852
00:53:11,419 --> 00:53:12,517
It was mutual.

1853
00:53:12,517 --> 00:53:13,680
- Mutual in what way?

1854
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,477
Mutual in the sense that you
were both single the moment

1855
00:53:15,477 --> 00:53:16,480
after she dumped you?

1856
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:17,477
- Yeah.

1857
00:53:17,477 --> 00:53:18,498
That way.

1858
00:53:18,498 --> 00:53:19,499
Come on, Caboose.

1859
00:53:19,499 --> 00:53:20,501
Let's go explain the plan to Tex.

1860
00:53:20,501 --> 00:53:21,499
Wish us luck.

1861
00:53:21,499 --> 00:53:22,501
- Yeah, right.

1862
00:53:22,501 --> 00:53:23,760
Hey, when she kills you, I'm
going to sell your armor to

1863
00:53:23,760 --> 00:53:25,541
that pink guy on the Red Team.

1864
00:53:25,541 --> 00:53:26,677
I hear he's in the market.

1865
00:53:26,677 --> 00:53:28,036
- Hey, who's the yellow soldier?

1866
00:53:28,036 --> 00:53:29,040
- That's just Sister.

1867
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:30,037
She's new.

1868
00:53:30,037 --> 00:53:31,138
- No one told me about a new arrival.

1869
00:53:31,138 --> 00:53:33,077
I'm supposed to examine
everyone before they assume

1870
00:53:33,077 --> 00:53:34,197
active duty.

1871
00:53:34,197 --> 00:53:36,219
- Don't sweat it. I already
checked her out for you.

1872
00:53:36,219 --> 00:53:40,059
Diagnosis, F-I-N-E. That spells fine.

1873
00:53:40,059 --> 00:53:41,056
- Thanks.

1874
00:53:41,056 --> 00:53:42,994
But I think a trained medical
professional should be the one

1875
00:53:42,994 --> 00:53:43,995
to-

1876
00:53:43,995 --> 00:53:46,016
- I'm a doctor, a doctor of love, PhD.

1877
00:53:46,016 --> 00:53:49,156
Certified in loveology,
general harasstitioner,

1878
00:53:49,156 --> 00:53:50,298
sexacologist.

1879
00:53:50,298 --> 00:53:51,911
- First of all, love is not an officially

1880
00:53:51,911 --> 00:53:53,339
recognized medical specialty.

1881
00:53:53,339 --> 00:53:55,115
And also, PhDs,

1882
00:53:55,115 --> 00:53:56,997
heh, not really doctors.

1883
00:53:56,997 --> 00:53:58,219
- Dude, you're a dork.

1884
00:53:58,219 --> 00:53:59,216
- Hey.

1885
00:53:59,216 --> 00:54:00,219
- What's up, Sis?

1886
00:54:00,219 --> 00:54:01,216
What'd you and Tex talk about?

1887
00:54:01,216 --> 00:54:03,499
- Oh, she was just talking
about everyone here.

1888
00:54:03,499 --> 00:54:05,296
How you're all idiots and
jerks, but that you guys are

1889
00:54:05,296 --> 00:54:08,437
her idiots and jerks, and if
I tried to become more popular

1890
00:54:08,437 --> 00:54:10,859
than her, she would talk about
me behind my back and turn

1891
00:54:10,859 --> 00:54:12,016
everyone against me.

1892
00:54:12,016 --> 00:54:14,695
And then I would cry, and
everyone would hate me.

1893
00:54:14,695 --> 00:54:15,954
You know, girl stuff.

1894
00:54:15,954 --> 00:54:16,971
- Cool.

1895
00:54:16,971 --> 00:54:18,992
Oh hey, speaking of
girl stuff, this is Doc.

1896
00:54:18,992 --> 00:54:19,825
- Hi.

1897
00:54:19,825 --> 00:54:20,808
- Uh, hello. Nice to meet you.

1898
00:54:20,808 --> 00:54:21,641
I'm the medic.

1899
00:54:21,641 --> 00:54:23,762
If it's all right with you,
I need to give you a quick

1900
00:54:23,762 --> 00:54:25,863
physical examination since you're new.

1901
00:54:25,863 --> 00:54:27,488
Do you want to come in the
base, where you might feel

1902
00:54:27,488 --> 00:54:29,280
more comfortable taking
off all your clothes?

1903
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:30,807
- Sure. Lead the way.

1904
00:54:30,807 --> 00:54:32,140
See you, Tucker.

1905
00:54:35,109 --> 00:54:37,029
- What the fuck just happened?

1906
00:54:37,029 --> 00:54:38,306
- Sarge, I found Simmons.

1907
00:54:38,306 --> 00:54:40,629
He's over here, sleeping on the job.

1908
00:54:40,629 --> 00:54:42,331
- Donut, I'm not sleeping.

1909
00:54:42,331 --> 00:54:43,328
I was drugged.

1910
00:54:43,328 --> 00:54:44,331
- Sorry, Sarge.

1911
00:54:44,331 --> 00:54:45,383
He's not sleeping.

1912
00:54:45,383 --> 00:54:46,667
He's doing drugs.

1913
00:54:46,667 --> 00:54:47,673
- Shut up, Donut.

1914
00:54:47,673 --> 00:54:49,667
I'm not doing drugs. We were attacked.

1915
00:54:49,667 --> 00:54:51,547
They must have used some kind
of tranquilizer on me and,

1916
00:54:51,547 --> 00:54:52,731
Grif?

1917
00:54:52,731 --> 00:54:54,427
Where's Grif?

1918
00:54:54,427 --> 00:54:57,447
- Maybe he's out scoring
you junkies some more drugs.

1919
00:54:57,447 --> 00:54:58,869
- They must have taken him.

1920
00:54:58,869 --> 00:54:59,883
- Who would take Grif?

1921
00:54:59,883 --> 00:55:00,891
Garbage collectors?

1922
00:55:00,891 --> 00:55:02,389
- The people who ambushed us.

1923
00:55:02,389 --> 00:55:03,467
We have to find him.

1924
00:55:03,467 --> 00:55:05,544
Luckily, I implanted a
tracking chip in his armor.

1925
00:55:05,544 --> 00:55:07,931
I wanted to be able to find
him when it was time to work.

1926
00:55:07,931 --> 00:55:10,344
I should be able to lock
onto his signal in just a few

1927
00:55:10,344 --> 00:55:11,389
seconds.

1928
00:55:11,389 --> 00:55:12,411
- A few seconds?

1929
00:55:12,411 --> 00:55:13,805
That sounds entirely hopeless.

1930
00:55:13,805 --> 00:55:15,408
Well, Grif, we'll miss you.

1931
00:55:15,408 --> 00:55:17,847
You were a good soldier,
using the broadest possible

1932
00:55:17,847 --> 00:55:20,469
definition of good and soldier.

1933
00:55:20,469 --> 00:55:21,467
- I've got a signal.

1934
00:55:21,467 --> 00:55:23,248
- He's probably a million
miles away by now.

1935
00:55:23,248 --> 00:55:25,291
- Actually, he's only
a tenth of a mile away.

1936
00:55:25,291 --> 00:55:26,288
- Who knows what direction?

1937
00:55:26,288 --> 00:55:27,291
- That direction.

1938
00:55:27,291 --> 00:55:29,142
- Exactly. We did our best, Simmons.

1939
00:55:29,142 --> 00:55:30,419
Now let's head back to base and call for

1940
00:55:30,419 --> 00:55:31,643
a replacement troop.

1941
00:55:31,643 --> 00:55:32,741
Where's my shotgun?

1942
00:55:32,741 --> 00:55:33,782
- I don't see it anywhere.

1943
00:55:33,782 --> 00:55:35,323
I guess they took it when they took Grif.

1944
00:55:35,323 --> 00:55:37,478
- (sigh) What direction did you say?

1945
00:55:37,478 --> 00:55:38,475
- That way, sir.

1946
00:55:38,475 --> 00:55:40,142
- Come on, let's go.

1947
00:55:41,336 --> 00:55:42,817
- So Caboose is going to be up front,

1948
00:55:42,817 --> 00:55:44,838
talking to her, and then while
he's got her distracted, you

1949
00:55:44,838 --> 00:55:48,198
sneak around the back, access
the panel, and shut her down.

1950
00:55:48,198 --> 00:55:49,553
- OK. I'll do it.

1951
00:55:49,553 --> 00:55:51,094
- What? That's it?

1952
00:55:51,094 --> 00:55:53,014
You will? No bargaining?

1953
00:55:53,014 --> 00:55:54,235
No ridiculous demands?

1954
00:55:54,235 --> 00:55:55,233
- No.

1955
00:55:55,233 --> 00:55:56,731
I'm trying to find
O'Malley and his friend.

1956
00:55:56,731 --> 00:55:59,809
In a way, you guys are helping me.

1957
00:55:59,809 --> 00:56:02,315
If anyone should be making
demands it should be you.

1958
00:56:02,315 --> 00:56:03,713
- Oh, well, in that case, we want-

1959
00:56:03,713 --> 00:56:04,854
- Forget it. Deal's done.

1960
00:56:04,854 --> 00:56:05,687
- Dammit.

1961
00:56:05,687 --> 00:56:06,913
- Um, how should I distract Sheila?

1962
00:56:06,913 --> 00:56:08,033
- Just talk to her.

1963
00:56:08,033 --> 00:56:09,035
Keep her attention.

1964
00:56:09,035 --> 00:56:10,251
That's it.
- I don't know.

1965
00:56:10,251 --> 00:56:12,925
Uh, we kind of have a history.

1966
00:56:12,925 --> 00:56:15,185
Uh, she may not want to talk to me.

1967
00:56:15,185 --> 00:56:17,270
- So? Tex and I have a rough history.

1968
00:56:17,270 --> 00:56:18,692
Doesn't mean we can't be professional

1969
00:56:18,692 --> 00:56:19,937
and hold a conversation.

1970
00:56:19,937 --> 00:56:21,915
- I wouldn't exactly
call them conversations.

1971
00:56:21,915 --> 00:56:23,795
- Ugh, get off my back, woman.

1972
00:56:23,795 --> 00:56:24,934
Can't you see I'm working here?

1973
00:56:24,934 --> 00:56:26,651
- Please. You call this working?

1974
00:56:26,651 --> 00:56:29,430
- See, this is exactly what
could happen with me and

1975
00:56:29,430 --> 00:56:32,710
Sheila, only with more
getting shot by tanks.

1976
00:56:32,710 --> 00:56:34,950
- Caboose, if that happened,
I'm sure the shell would just

1977
00:56:34,950 --> 00:56:37,574
bounce off you and land on me somehow.

1978
00:56:37,574 --> 00:56:39,547
Just smooth talk her.

1979
00:56:39,547 --> 00:56:40,971
- I don't know how to do that.

1980
00:56:40,971 --> 00:56:43,029
- Just tell her she's pretty
or that she's got that new tank

1981
00:56:43,029 --> 00:56:44,513
smell or something.

1982
00:56:44,513 --> 00:56:45,793
Compliment her treads.

1983
00:56:45,793 --> 00:56:46,807
It doesn't matter.

1984
00:56:46,807 --> 00:56:47,814
- I don't know-

1985
00:56:47,814 --> 00:56:48,811
- It's easy.

1986
00:56:48,811 --> 00:56:49,814
Look, here.

1987
00:56:49,814 --> 00:56:50,831
Just practice on Tex.

1988
00:56:50,831 --> 00:56:53,080
She's, womanish.
- Pardon me?

1989
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,934
- Do you want Caboose to run
decoy for you, or do you want

1990
00:56:54,934 --> 00:56:57,551
to try this on your own?

1991
00:56:57,551 --> 00:56:58,610
- I see your point.

1992
00:56:58,610 --> 00:56:59,611
- Go ahead.

1993
00:56:59,611 --> 00:57:00,614
- Hello, Tex.

1994
00:57:00,614 --> 00:57:01,450
- Dude.

1995
00:57:01,450 --> 00:57:02,689
You will not believe
what Doc just pulled off.

1996
00:57:02,689 --> 00:57:03,691
- Shut up, Tucker.

1997
00:57:03,691 --> 00:57:04,689
Don't interrupt.

1998
00:57:04,689 --> 00:57:05,698
- Interrupt what?

1999
00:57:05,698 --> 00:57:07,691
- Tex, I think you are pretty.

2000
00:57:07,691 --> 00:57:11,051
And you haven't hurt my body
in a long time, so I was

2001
00:57:11,051 --> 00:57:14,129
hoping that we could talk and
be friends, maybe, and hold

2002
00:57:14,129 --> 00:57:17,447
hands, and you would go with
me, and when you went with me,

2003
00:57:17,447 --> 00:57:19,683
you would be my real girlfriend.

2004
00:57:19,683 --> 00:57:23,246
- I think that would be nice, Caboose.

2005
00:57:23,246 --> 00:57:26,422
We should definitely do that.

2006
00:57:26,422 --> 00:57:27,425
- What the hell?

2007
00:57:27,425 --> 00:57:28,427
Tex, have you gone crazy?

2008
00:57:28,427 --> 00:57:29,687
If you want to get with
somebody, get with me, the

2009
00:57:29,687 --> 00:57:30,948
love doctor.

2010
00:57:30,948 --> 00:57:32,027
I'm a real man.

2011
00:57:32,027 --> 00:57:34,610
I will rock your fucking world.

2012
00:57:35,873 --> 00:57:37,531
- Hey, don't look at me.

2013
00:57:37,531 --> 00:57:40,097
He's not part of the plan.

2014
00:57:40,097 --> 00:57:41,514
- Junior, Junior.

2015
00:57:42,854 --> 00:57:44,614
Hey, Junior, where'd you go?

2016
00:57:44,614 --> 00:57:45,617
- Honk.

2017
00:57:45,617 --> 00:57:46,630
- There you are.

2018
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,638
- Honk.

2019
00:57:47,638 --> 00:57:48,635
- You little rascal.

2020
00:57:48,635 --> 00:57:49,468
- Honk!
- OK, Sister.

2021
00:57:49,468 --> 00:57:51,075
Any other conditions I should know about?

2022
00:57:51,075 --> 00:57:52,998
- Um, let's see.

2023
00:57:52,998 --> 00:57:55,857
You know about all the
ways I'm contagious, so-

2024
00:57:55,857 --> 00:57:57,056
- Hey, what's going on here?

2025
00:57:57,056 --> 00:57:58,557
- Oh, I'm color-blind.

2026
00:57:58,557 --> 00:57:59,836
- Really? That's weird.

2027
00:57:59,836 --> 00:58:01,718
But I don't think it'll
cause any problems here.

2028
00:58:01,718 --> 00:58:03,339
OK, go ahead and bend over.

2029
00:58:03,339 --> 00:58:04,342
- Sure.

2030
00:58:04,342 --> 00:58:05,339
Like this?

2031
00:58:05,339 --> 00:58:06,502
- Whoa, yeah.

2032
00:58:06,502 --> 00:58:08,881
You're really limber and
in really great shape.

2033
00:58:08,881 --> 00:58:09,898
- Yeah, I am.

2034
00:58:09,898 --> 00:58:11,398
- I'm not playing against you in Twister.

2035
00:58:11,398 --> 00:58:12,401
- Check this out.

2036
00:58:12,401 --> 00:58:13,398
- Wowsers.

2037
00:58:13,398 --> 00:58:15,398
I didn't even know a
leg could bend that far.

2038
00:58:15,398 --> 00:58:16,641
That is a leg, right?

2039
00:58:16,641 --> 00:58:17,638
OK.

2040
00:58:17,638 --> 00:58:19,613
Oh, and by the way, sorry
if my hands are cold.

2041
00:58:19,613 --> 00:58:20,616
- That's cool.

2042
00:58:20,616 --> 00:58:22,321
Sorry my body's a little hot.

2043
00:58:22,321 --> 00:58:23,836
- Hey, do you guys need any help in there?

2044
00:58:23,836 --> 00:58:25,393
- Huh? Is someone spying on us?

2045
00:58:25,393 --> 00:58:26,472
Yes!

2046
00:58:26,472 --> 00:58:27,694
Hot.

2047
00:58:27,694 --> 00:58:28,698
- No, we're good.

2048
00:58:28,698 --> 00:58:30,116
Hey, Sister, do you want me to turn up

2049
00:58:30,116 --> 00:58:31,118
the heat or something?

2050
00:58:31,118 --> 00:58:32,297
You look like you're-

2051
00:58:32,297 --> 00:58:33,454
- Eh, I'll be OK.

2052
00:58:33,454 --> 00:58:35,278
Hard nipples won't kill you.

2053
00:58:35,278 --> 00:58:37,156
- I could just walk around
this corner if you need me to.

2054
00:58:37,156 --> 00:58:38,158
It wouldn't be a problem.

2055
00:58:38,158 --> 00:58:39,156
- We got it.

2056
00:58:39,156 --> 00:58:40,798
Hey, sorry I got you all wet before.

2057
00:58:40,798 --> 00:58:42,682
I don't even know how that
bucket of baby oil got up on

2058
00:58:42,682 --> 00:58:43,538
that shelf.

2059
00:58:43,538 --> 00:58:44,676
That was weird.

2060
00:58:44,676 --> 00:58:47,202
- That's OK. I think it'll actually help.

2061
00:58:47,202 --> 00:58:48,880
Squeezing these puppies into
the armor can be a little

2062
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:50,040
difficult.

2063
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:51,421
- Maybe I should just look
in there and see if there's

2064
00:58:51,421 --> 00:58:52,424
anything I can do.

2065
00:58:52,424 --> 00:58:53,438
- No thanks, Tucker.

2066
00:58:53,438 --> 00:58:55,160
Maybe they need your help
with the tank instead.

2067
00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:57,421
You'd probably be a lot
more valuable out there.

2068
00:58:57,421 --> 00:58:59,762
What we're doing in her is pretty routine.

2069
00:58:59,762 --> 00:59:00,798
Hey, are you double-jointed?

2070
00:59:00,798 --> 00:59:01,796
- Yeah.

2071
00:59:01,796 --> 00:59:02,801
- Great.

2072
00:59:02,801 --> 00:59:03,800
- Honk!

2073
00:59:03,800 --> 00:59:04,904
- Don't rub it in.

2074
00:59:04,904 --> 00:59:05,737
- Blarg.

2075
00:59:06,584 --> 00:59:07,906
- Come on.

2076
00:59:07,906 --> 00:59:09,064
Grif should be right over here.

2077
00:59:09,064 --> 00:59:10,322
- Don't listen to him, Sarge.

2078
00:59:10,322 --> 00:59:11,577
He's just trying to score more drugs

2079
00:59:11,577 --> 00:59:13,202
to keep his habit alive.

2080
00:59:13,202 --> 00:59:15,165
Remember last month, when
he asked for more money?

2081
00:59:15,165 --> 00:59:16,664
It was for drugs.

2082
00:59:16,664 --> 00:59:18,938
- That was part of a
budgetary meeting, Donut.

2083
00:59:18,938 --> 00:59:21,064
He needed more funds
for vehicle maintenance.

2084
00:59:21,064 --> 00:59:21,897
- Enabler!

2085
00:59:21,897 --> 00:59:22,879
- I see something.

2086
00:59:22,879 --> 00:59:24,541
- Ah, there's my shotgun.

2087
00:59:24,541 --> 00:59:26,205
Mission accomplished.

2088
00:59:26,205 --> 00:59:27,485
Excellent work, men.

2089
00:59:27,485 --> 00:59:28,621
Let's hang up a banner.

2090
00:59:28,621 --> 00:59:29,624
- There's Grif.

2091
00:59:29,624 --> 00:59:30,621
- Oh, right.

2092
00:59:30,621 --> 00:59:31,642
And Grif.

2093
00:59:31,642 --> 00:59:32,962
Excellent something or other.

2094
00:59:32,962 --> 00:59:35,712
You people, why do I even bother?

2095
00:59:42,386 --> 00:59:43,565
- I don't know what to say.

2096
00:59:43,565 --> 00:59:44,581
- Don't be nervous.

2097
00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:47,384
Just go out there, hold her
attention, and don't say

2098
00:59:47,384 --> 00:59:48,386
anything stupid.

2099
00:59:48,386 --> 00:59:49,602
No, wait.

2100
00:59:49,602 --> 00:59:50,866
Be natural. Say stupid stuff.

2101
00:59:50,866 --> 00:59:51,699
Go.

2102
00:59:54,168 --> 00:59:55,565
- Hello, Sheila.

2103
00:59:55,565 --> 00:59:56,728
How are you doing?

2104
00:59:56,728 --> 00:59:58,568
- Oh, hello, Caboose.

2105
00:59:58,568 --> 01:00:01,864
Actually, I'm not functioning
at my optimal capacity.

2106
01:00:01,864 --> 01:00:04,584
My internal diagnostics
indicate I am having

2107
01:00:04,584 --> 01:00:05,805
mechanical issues.

2108
01:00:05,805 --> 01:00:07,085
How are you?

2109
01:00:07,085 --> 01:00:07,918
- Um-

2110
01:00:09,506 --> 01:00:10,925
- Caboose, say good.

2111
01:00:10,925 --> 01:00:11,928
- What?

2112
01:00:11,928 --> 01:00:12,941
Oh, good.

2113
01:00:12,941 --> 01:00:14,226
Uh, pretty good.

2114
01:00:14,226 --> 01:00:15,401
Really good.

2115
01:00:15,401 --> 01:00:16,405
I am great.

2116
01:00:16,405 --> 01:00:17,401
I am absolutely perfect.

2117
01:00:17,401 --> 01:00:18,405
- That's too good.

2118
01:00:18,405 --> 01:00:19,528
- Now I am depressed.

2119
01:00:19,528 --> 01:00:21,381
I am doing bad.

2120
01:00:21,381 --> 01:00:22,408
I-

2121
01:00:22,408 --> 01:00:24,466
I don't know if I can go on.

2122
01:00:24,466 --> 01:00:26,664
- You seem distracted, Caboose.

2123
01:00:26,664 --> 01:00:28,365
I am not distracted.

2124
01:00:28,365 --> 01:00:29,826
I'm distracting.

2125
01:00:29,826 --> 01:00:32,786
See, that's different
because I'm doing it to you.

2126
01:00:32,786 --> 01:00:33,645
- What?
- What?

2127
01:00:33,645 --> 01:00:34,866
- I mean, I'm very distractable.

2128
01:00:34,866 --> 01:00:36,685
(nervous laugh)

2129
01:00:36,685 --> 01:00:39,801
With a high degree of distractivity-ness.

2130
01:00:39,801 --> 01:00:42,109
- Change the subject.

2131
01:00:42,109 --> 01:00:43,426
- OK.

2132
01:00:43,426 --> 01:00:45,645
Sheila, have you seen Tex?

2133
01:00:45,645 --> 01:00:46,648
- What?

2134
01:00:46,648 --> 01:00:47,645
I mean, what?

2135
01:00:47,645 --> 01:00:48,648
- What?

2136
01:00:48,648 --> 01:00:50,088
- Sheila, do you know what
my favorite thing to do is?

2137
01:00:50,088 --> 01:00:51,986
Not look behind myself.

2138
01:00:51,986 --> 01:00:54,328
You should try not doing that.

2139
01:00:54,328 --> 01:00:56,605
Do you like to collect stamps?

2140
01:00:56,605 --> 01:00:58,509
- Hey, Caboose, I think it's
wrong for us both to die

2141
01:00:58,509 --> 01:01:00,605
because you're an idiot, so
I'm going to take off now, OK?

2142
01:01:00,605 --> 01:01:01,629
I'll see you, bye.

2143
01:01:01,629 --> 01:01:02,626
- Please don't go.

2144
01:01:02,626 --> 01:01:03,640
- I am not leaving.

2145
01:01:03,640 --> 01:01:04,642
- Oh good.

2146
01:01:04,642 --> 01:01:05,741
Good.

2147
01:01:05,741 --> 01:01:06,786
Stay.

2148
01:01:06,786 --> 01:01:08,968
- You are acting strangely.

2149
01:01:08,968 --> 01:01:10,685
And I would like to find out why.

2150
01:01:10,685 --> 01:01:11,518
- Oh, OK.

2151
01:01:12,765 --> 01:01:13,949
Um-

2152
01:01:13,949 --> 01:01:17,426
- Caboose, the Omega AI has
been missing, and everyone has

2153
01:01:17,426 --> 01:01:19,128
been attempting to find him.

2154
01:01:19,128 --> 01:01:20,749
If you continue to act erratically,

2155
01:01:20,749 --> 01:01:23,810
they may mistakenly think
he is inside of you and take

2156
01:01:23,810 --> 01:01:25,330
drastic measures against you.

2157
01:01:25,330 --> 01:01:28,168
- Oh. I wouldn't want them to do that.

2158
01:01:28,168 --> 01:01:31,726
- Exactly. Luckily, I know where Omega is.

2159
01:01:31,726 --> 01:01:32,725
- You do?

2160
01:01:32,725 --> 01:01:33,730
Where?

2161
01:01:33,730 --> 01:01:34,728
- He is inside-

2162
01:01:34,728 --> 01:01:35,869
(shutting down)

2163
01:01:35,869 --> 01:01:37,149
- Got it.

2164
01:01:37,149 --> 01:01:38,946
- Who is blurrrrr?

2165
01:01:38,946 --> 01:01:40,279
- What happened?

2166
01:01:41,608 --> 01:01:43,170
What'd you do to me?

2167
01:01:43,170 --> 01:01:44,472
- We got knocked the fuck out.

2168
01:01:44,472 --> 01:01:46,008
And the people who did
it must have taken you.

2169
01:01:46,008 --> 01:01:47,128
- Oh, right.

2170
01:01:47,128 --> 01:01:49,107
Uh, they kept asking me questions.

2171
01:01:49,107 --> 01:01:50,746
They wanted information.

2172
01:01:50,746 --> 01:01:51,750
- Information?

2173
01:01:51,750 --> 01:01:52,749
What did they-

2174
01:01:52,749 --> 01:01:54,528
- Whoa, whoa. They wanted
information, and they took you?

2175
01:01:54,528 --> 01:01:56,072
Why wouldn't they take me?

2176
01:01:56,072 --> 01:01:57,069
- What did they look like?

2177
01:01:57,069 --> 01:01:58,072
- Sarge, please.

2178
01:01:58,072 --> 01:01:59,086
I was right there next to you.

2179
01:01:59,086 --> 01:02:00,744
If they needed information,
why would they take you

2180
01:02:00,744 --> 01:02:01,864
instead of me?

2181
01:02:01,864 --> 01:02:03,288
- What are you, jealous?

2182
01:02:03,288 --> 01:02:04,290
Jesus.

2183
01:02:04,290 --> 01:02:05,288
- No.

2184
01:02:05,288 --> 01:02:06,290
I just think if you're going
to drug and torture people,

2185
01:02:06,290 --> 01:02:08,408
you don't need to insult
their intelligence, too.

2186
01:02:08,408 --> 01:02:09,672
That's just mean.

2187
01:02:09,672 --> 01:02:11,589
- Yeah. You're jealous.

2188
01:02:12,930 --> 01:02:15,330
- You want us to turn her
back on again, after we

2189
01:02:15,330 --> 01:02:17,330
just went through all that
trouble to shut her down?

2190
01:02:17,330 --> 01:02:19,954
- But she said she
knows where O'Malley is.

2191
01:02:19,954 --> 01:02:21,032
- Well, maybe she was lying.

2192
01:02:21,032 --> 01:02:22,433
How could she possibly know that?

2193
01:02:22,433 --> 01:02:23,794
What do you think Tex.

2194
01:02:23,794 --> 01:02:24,792
Can we turn her back on again?

2195
01:02:24,792 --> 01:02:26,173
Disable her guns or something?

2196
01:02:26,173 --> 01:02:27,170
- Not a chance.

2197
01:02:27,170 --> 01:02:28,832
She's a wreck back here.

2198
01:02:28,832 --> 01:02:31,112
I'm not even sure how she
was operational anyway.

2199
01:02:31,112 --> 01:02:32,126
- Oh, I know.

2200
01:02:32,126 --> 01:02:34,989
Uh, we can put her inside
my head, like O'Malley.

2201
01:02:34,989 --> 01:02:37,349
I've got lots of extra room in there.

2202
01:02:37,349 --> 01:02:38,353
- Yeah, I bet.

2203
01:02:38,353 --> 01:02:40,514
And no, she's not that kind of AI.

2204
01:02:40,514 --> 01:02:42,733
- She could only be moved over if we had a

2205
01:02:42,733 --> 01:02:43,853
similar class of vehicle.

2206
01:02:43,853 --> 01:02:44,850
- Yeah.

2207
01:02:44,850 --> 01:02:46,792
If only we had some other kind
of big vehicle that we could

2208
01:02:46,792 --> 01:02:47,874
move her into.

2209
01:02:47,874 --> 01:02:49,409
We can't use the Warthog because that

2210
01:02:49,409 --> 01:02:51,234
doesn't have anything,

2211
01:02:51,234 --> 01:02:52,232
wait a minute.

2212
01:02:52,232 --> 01:02:53,233
Tex.

2213
01:02:53,233 --> 01:02:54,232
The ship?

2214
01:02:54,232 --> 01:02:56,127
Could we move her into one
of those onboard computers?

2215
01:02:56,127 --> 01:02:58,152
- If we set up a hard line, yeah.

2216
01:02:58,152 --> 01:02:59,212
I bet we could do it.

2217
01:02:59,212 --> 01:03:00,210
- Church!

2218
01:03:00,210 --> 01:03:01,213
Wait!

2219
01:03:01,213 --> 01:03:02,210
- Huh?

2220
01:03:02,210 --> 01:03:03,213
- Church, hold on a second.

2221
01:03:03,213 --> 01:03:04,229
I got something to tell you.

2222
01:03:04,229 --> 01:03:05,566
- Tucker, what? What is it?

2223
01:03:05,566 --> 01:03:08,346
- I just wanted to say, I
got a hard line Tex can use.

2224
01:03:08,346 --> 01:03:09,629
Bow chicka bow wow.

2225
01:03:09,629 --> 01:03:10,973
- How did you even hear that?

2226
01:03:10,973 --> 01:03:12,472
- Pff, I'm like Superman.

2227
01:03:12,472 --> 01:03:14,389
I know when I'm needed.

2228
01:03:15,650 --> 01:03:17,053
(Grif muttering)

2229
01:03:17,053 --> 01:03:18,253
- Shake it off, you big orange baby.

2230
01:03:18,253 --> 01:03:19,309
What happened to you?

2231
01:03:19,309 --> 01:03:20,449
- He's been chasing the dragon.

2232
01:03:20,449 --> 01:03:21,452
- Donut, shut up.

2233
01:03:21,452 --> 01:03:22,589
He was drugged, just like me.

2234
01:03:22,589 --> 01:03:23,849
- That's what I'm saying.

2235
01:03:23,849 --> 01:03:26,792
He fell off the wagon and
shook hands with the devil.

2236
01:03:26,792 --> 01:03:27,924
- Shut up.

2237
01:03:27,924 --> 01:03:29,970
- He's been riding the wave
and tripping the technicolor

2238
01:03:29,970 --> 01:03:30,973
dreamscape.

2239
01:03:30,973 --> 01:03:32,669
Far out, man.

2240
01:03:32,669 --> 01:03:34,189
Druggy loser.

2241
01:03:34,189 --> 01:03:35,949
- Will you stop, Donut.

2242
01:03:35,949 --> 01:03:39,112
All you're doing with your
stupid anti-drug lingo is

2243
01:03:39,112 --> 01:03:41,837
making me actually want to try drugs.

2244
01:03:41,837 --> 01:03:44,274
- Choose life, Simmons. Choose it.

2245
01:03:44,274 --> 01:03:46,312
- Yeah. That sounds like fun.

2246
01:03:46,312 --> 01:03:47,469
- Who knocked you out, Grif?

2247
01:03:47,469 --> 01:03:48,667
Was it those dirty Blues?

2248
01:03:48,667 --> 01:03:49,669
- No.

2249
01:03:49,669 --> 01:03:50,872
It was some kind of bat-person.

2250
01:03:50,872 --> 01:03:51,869
- Bat-person?

2251
01:03:51,869 --> 01:03:54,187
- Sarge, I'm not sure Grif
knows what he's talking about.

2252
01:03:54,187 --> 01:03:56,232
- Grif doesn't know what
he's talking about, eh?

2253
01:03:56,232 --> 01:03:57,912
Stop the fucking presses.

2254
01:03:57,912 --> 01:03:59,909
- No, I mean specifically right now.

2255
01:03:59,909 --> 01:04:02,333
Whatever chemical they used to
knock us out may be affecting

2256
01:04:02,333 --> 01:04:03,789
his perception or his memory.

2257
01:04:03,789 --> 01:04:06,589
- And it can cause undue stress
to his family and seriously

2258
01:04:06,589 --> 01:04:08,070
impair his ability to operate a-

2259
01:04:08,070 --> 01:04:09,170
- Shut up, Donut!

2260
01:04:09,170 --> 01:04:10,850
- I wasn't hallucinating.

2261
01:04:10,850 --> 01:04:13,912
There was some kind of crazy
bat thing and another guy, and

2262
01:04:13,912 --> 01:04:17,486
they were talking about a kid and a sword.

2263
01:04:17,486 --> 01:04:18,989
Some kind of deal they made.

2264
01:04:18,989 --> 01:04:20,935
- OK, wait. Is this a joke?

2265
01:04:20,935 --> 01:04:22,674
This is a prank on me, right?

2266
01:04:22,674 --> 01:04:25,272
You guys found my Harry
Potter fan fiction.

2267
01:04:25,272 --> 01:04:27,016
- This has nothing to do with you, Donut.

2268
01:04:27,016 --> 01:04:28,392
- OK, right, sure.

2269
01:04:28,392 --> 01:04:31,108
Well if the bat-person turns
out to be a sailor, and the

2270
01:04:31,108 --> 01:04:33,154
guy turns out to be a bartender, and

2271
01:04:33,154 --> 01:04:34,152
the sword turns out,

2272
01:04:34,152 --> 01:04:37,871
well, let's just say this all
sounds a little too familiar.

2273
01:04:37,871 --> 01:04:39,314
- I'm telling the truth.

2274
01:04:39,314 --> 01:04:40,767
This really happened.

2275
01:04:40,767 --> 01:04:42,413
- Sure, we believe you, buddy.

2276
01:04:42,413 --> 01:04:44,653
Note to Simmons, Grif has gone mad.

2277
01:04:44,653 --> 01:04:46,370
Need to kill him ASAP.

2278
01:04:46,370 --> 01:04:47,554
- I'm not crazy!

2279
01:04:47,554 --> 01:04:49,170
- Second note to Simmons.

2280
01:04:49,170 --> 01:04:52,312
Grif has developed super
hearing, possibly acquired

2281
01:04:52,312 --> 01:04:53,533
from the bat-people.

2282
01:04:53,533 --> 01:04:56,072
Post-note, original plan still applies.

2283
01:04:56,072 --> 01:04:57,176
- Wait a second.

2284
01:04:57,176 --> 01:04:59,357
I can prove I'm not
crazy 'cause of the bomb.

2285
01:04:59,357 --> 01:05:00,493
The bomb!

2286
01:05:00,493 --> 01:05:01,997
- Yeah, that's a good way to

2287
01:05:01,997 --> 01:05:03,006
prove you aren't insane.

2288
01:05:03,006 --> 01:05:05,357
Just start screaming "The bomb, the bomb!"

2289
01:05:05,357 --> 01:05:06,733
- The bomb was there.

2290
01:05:06,733 --> 01:05:09,037
That's how I could understand
what was being said.

2291
01:05:09,037 --> 01:05:10,893
They needed him to translate.

2292
01:05:10,893 --> 01:05:11,912
- The bomb?

2293
01:05:11,912 --> 01:05:13,074
You mean that loudmouth guy?

2294
01:05:13,074 --> 01:05:14,077
- Yeah.

2295
01:05:14,077 --> 01:05:15,693
The enormous ball that's
always ready to explode.

2296
01:05:15,693 --> 01:05:19,154
- OK, seriously, there's
coincidence, and then there's

2297
01:05:19,154 --> 01:05:20,456
outright plagiarism.

2298
01:05:20,456 --> 01:05:22,754
I'm gonna have to sue somebody.

2299
01:05:22,754 --> 01:05:23,634
- She's all set.

2300
01:05:23,634 --> 01:05:25,117
Transfer should take a while.

2301
01:05:25,117 --> 01:05:28,134
- Um, are we sure we want
to put her in this ship?

2302
01:05:28,134 --> 01:05:31,197
- Mm, it's still flyable,
but I'm going to remove the

2303
01:05:31,197 --> 01:05:32,594
ignition coil just to be sure.

2304
01:05:32,594 --> 01:05:34,754
If O'Malley is in her
somewhere, they aren't going

2305
01:05:34,754 --> 01:05:36,136
anywhere without it.

2306
01:05:36,136 --> 01:05:37,138
- You want me to hold it?

2307
01:05:37,138 --> 01:05:38,136
- Are you kidding?

2308
01:05:38,136 --> 01:05:40,136
- Well, thought it was worth a try.

2309
01:05:40,136 --> 01:05:41,778
- Hey, Caboose, how's it going in there?

2310
01:05:41,778 --> 01:05:42,851
- Looks good.

2311
01:05:42,851 --> 01:05:45,251
Although I have to tell you,
the ship looks a lot bigger on

2312
01:05:45,251 --> 01:05:47,494
the inside than the outside.

2313
01:05:47,494 --> 01:05:48,674
- How's the readout?

2314
01:05:48,674 --> 01:05:50,978
- Well, all the red lights
are red, and all the

2315
01:05:50,978 --> 01:05:52,034
blue lights are blue.

2316
01:05:52,034 --> 01:05:52,954
- What about the green lights?

2317
01:05:52,954 --> 01:05:53,787
- Those are black.

2318
01:05:53,787 --> 01:05:55,170
- When the green lights turn green and

2319
01:05:55,170 --> 01:05:57,832
the red lights turn black, I
want you to get a hold of me

2320
01:05:57,832 --> 01:05:58,834
right away.

2321
01:05:58,834 --> 01:05:59,832
- Uh, OK.

2322
01:05:59,832 --> 01:06:00,952
What about the blue lights?

2323
01:06:00,952 --> 01:06:02,232
- The blue lights don't matter.

2324
01:06:02,232 --> 01:06:03,234
- Then why do they-

2325
01:06:03,234 --> 01:06:04,835
- OK, OK. Thanks, Caboose. Good job.

2326
01:06:04,835 --> 01:06:05,736
- Oh, OK.

2327
01:06:05,736 --> 01:06:06,736
- Hey, Grif.

2328
01:06:07,773 --> 01:06:09,837
Just tell them where the kid
and the sword is, and you can

2329
01:06:09,837 --> 01:06:10,834
go.

2330
01:06:10,834 --> 01:06:11,667
- What?

2331
01:06:11,667 --> 01:06:13,176
Andy, is that you?

2332
01:06:13,176 --> 01:06:15,677
Why are you helping monster people?

2333
01:06:15,677 --> 01:06:18,296
- Hey, gotta make a living.

2334
01:06:18,296 --> 01:06:20,914
(alien grunting)

2335
01:06:20,914 --> 01:06:22,569
- He says someone's
coming, and we gotta go.

2336
01:06:22,569 --> 01:06:24,376
See you, Grif.

2337
01:06:24,376 --> 01:06:26,514
By the way, you look like shit.

2338
01:06:26,514 --> 01:06:27,853
Zing!

2339
01:06:27,853 --> 01:06:29,453
- Oh, OK, bye.

2340
01:06:29,453 --> 01:06:32,674
I'm gonna, go to sleeping again.

2341
01:06:32,674 --> 01:06:34,774
And he was translating
between the two of them, too.

2342
01:06:34,774 --> 01:06:37,256
So if we find Andy, he can
tell us exactly what's going

2343
01:06:37,256 --> 01:06:38,258
on.

2344
01:06:38,258 --> 01:06:40,034
- Sounds like we've stumbled
across something totally

2345
01:06:40,034 --> 01:06:41,336
diabolical.

2346
01:06:41,336 --> 01:06:43,294
Good work uncovering the plot, Simmons.

2347
01:06:43,294 --> 01:06:44,293
- Thank you, sir.

2348
01:06:44,293 --> 01:06:45,298
- Simmons?

2349
01:06:45,298 --> 01:06:46,456
I just told you everything!

2350
01:06:46,456 --> 01:06:48,696
- But Simmons was the one
that led us to you after he

2351
01:06:48,696 --> 01:06:50,434
stealthily avoided capture.

2352
01:06:50,434 --> 01:06:51,617
- Avoided capture?

2353
01:06:51,617 --> 01:06:54,317
They knocked him out first
and picked me at random.

2354
01:06:54,317 --> 01:06:57,256
- Yes, a randomness that
Simmons used to save the day.

2355
01:06:57,256 --> 01:06:59,314
- You can't just show up
here and start bossing people

2356
01:06:59,314 --> 01:07:00,434
around, Tex.

2357
01:07:00,434 --> 01:07:03,058
Bossing people around is my
job, and I put in the time.

2358
01:07:03,058 --> 01:07:04,520
- I had to leave. I found Wyoming.

2359
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:06,418
- Yeah, Tucker told me. What happened?

2360
01:07:06,418 --> 01:07:08,314
- I thought I tracked
him back to O'Malley.

2361
01:07:08,314 --> 01:07:10,258
But by the time York and I got there-

2362
01:07:10,258 --> 01:07:11,261
- York?

2363
01:07:11,261 --> 01:07:12,258
Your old Freelancer buddy?

2364
01:07:12,258 --> 01:07:13,261
Was Carolina with him?

2365
01:07:13,261 --> 01:07:14,258
- She was already dead.

2366
01:07:14,258 --> 01:07:15,298
- But what about Bermuda?

2367
01:07:15,298 --> 01:07:16,861
- That's not a state, dumbass.

2368
01:07:16,861 --> 01:07:17,917
- Portland?

2369
01:07:17,917 --> 01:07:18,920
- Shut up.

2370
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:19,917
- But he still had Delta.

2371
01:07:19,917 --> 01:07:21,294
- Delta? The AI?

2372
01:07:21,294 --> 01:07:22,127
How?

2373
01:07:22,127 --> 01:07:23,618
I thought they took them,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

2374
01:07:23,618 --> 01:07:25,080
How is he even still alive?

2375
01:07:25,080 --> 01:07:26,840
Aren't we hundreds of years in the future?

2376
01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:28,498
- I thought it was because of his armor.

2377
01:07:28,498 --> 01:07:30,301
You know all the Freelancer
suits had some kind of

2378
01:07:30,301 --> 01:07:31,134
enhancement.

2379
01:07:31,134 --> 01:07:32,006
- Right, like your invisibility.

2380
01:07:32,006 --> 01:07:33,486
- And horrible meanness.

2381
01:07:33,486 --> 01:07:34,489
- No, dude.

2382
01:07:34,489 --> 01:07:35,487
That's all natural.

2383
01:07:35,487 --> 01:07:37,129
- York's was some kind
of healing mechanism.

2384
01:07:37,129 --> 01:07:39,087
It would help him recover
from wounds in battle.

2385
01:07:39,087 --> 01:07:41,748
I thought it might have kept
him alive all these years.

2386
01:07:41,748 --> 01:07:43,744
But after I found Wyoming, I
knocked him out and downloaded

2387
01:07:43,744 --> 01:07:44,945
logs from his helmet.

2388
01:07:44,945 --> 01:07:47,127
There's something going on,
Church, with a lot of people

2389
01:07:47,127 --> 01:07:48,329
working against us.

2390
01:07:48,329 --> 01:07:49,849
- Well, what did Wyoming
say when he woke up?

2391
01:07:49,849 --> 01:07:50,868
- He didn't.

2392
01:07:50,868 --> 01:07:53,151
Before I could interrogate
him, he teleported away.

2393
01:07:53,151 --> 01:07:55,791
One second he was there,
and the next, he was gone.

2394
01:07:55,791 --> 01:07:57,289
- What about the second after that?

2395
01:07:57,289 --> 01:07:58,388
- Can I kill him?

2396
01:07:58,388 --> 01:08:00,628
- No, I'm saving him in case
we ever need him for food.

2397
01:08:00,628 --> 01:08:03,247
So Wyoming's armor lets him teleport?

2398
01:08:03,247 --> 01:08:04,249
- I don't think so.

2399
01:08:04,249 --> 01:08:06,089
I think someone grabbed
him from somewhere else.

2400
01:08:06,089 --> 01:08:06,962
- How is that possible?

2401
01:08:06,962 --> 01:08:10,149
The only technology I
know that can do that is,

2402
01:08:10,149 --> 01:08:11,946
wait a minute.

2403
01:08:11,946 --> 01:08:13,608
Each Freelancer had an
enhanced suit of armor and an

2404
01:08:13,608 --> 01:08:14,728
AI, right?

2405
01:08:14,728 --> 01:08:15,561
- Right.

2406
01:08:15,561 --> 01:08:16,545
- Right.

2407
01:08:16,545 --> 01:08:19,152
- Your armor was invisibility,
and your AI was Omega.

2408
01:08:19,152 --> 01:08:20,165
- Right.

2409
01:08:20,165 --> 01:08:20,998
- Wrong.

2410
01:08:20,998 --> 01:08:21,831
Oops, missed that one.

2411
01:08:21,831 --> 01:08:22,664
Can we go back?

2412
01:08:22,664 --> 01:08:23,497
- What was Wyoming's AI?

2413
01:08:23,497 --> 01:08:24,330
- Gamma.

2414
01:08:24,330 --> 01:08:27,685
- (sigh) I gotta make a phone call.

2415
01:08:27,685 --> 01:08:30,352
(phone ringing)

2416
01:08:31,402 --> 01:08:32,405
- Hello.

2417
01:08:32,405 --> 01:08:33,402
- Hello.

2418
01:08:33,402 --> 01:08:34,405
This is Church, Gary.

2419
01:08:34,405 --> 01:08:35,559
Or should I call you Gamma?

2420
01:08:35,559 --> 01:08:37,402
Have you been lying to us?

2421
01:08:37,402 --> 01:08:40,021
- Lying is such a Shisno concept,

2422
01:08:40,021 --> 01:08:42,341
I mean human concept.

2423
01:08:42,341 --> 01:08:43,344
- You're a computer.

2424
01:08:43,344 --> 01:08:44,805
I thought computers can't lie.

2425
01:08:44,805 --> 01:08:47,180
- They can if they are programmed to lie.

2426
01:08:47,180 --> 01:08:48,421
- Were you programmed to lie?

2427
01:08:49,754 --> 01:08:50,611
- No.

2428
01:08:50,611 --> 01:08:51,642
- God dammit.

2429
01:08:51,642 --> 01:08:53,184
- I have to go, Church.

2430
01:08:53,184 --> 01:08:54,261
- Wait. What about the aliens?

2431
01:08:54,261 --> 01:08:55,094
How do we-

2432
01:08:55,094 --> 01:08:55,927
- Goodbye.

2433
01:08:59,082 --> 01:09:00,378
- Hmm, do they know?

2434
01:09:00,378 --> 01:09:02,138
- It is nothing to worry about.

2435
01:09:02,138 --> 01:09:04,240
We are close to the end.

2436
01:09:04,240 --> 01:09:06,580
We will not be stopped now.

2437
01:09:06,580 --> 01:09:07,722
- We should keep going.

2438
01:09:07,722 --> 01:09:08,698
Hop in.

2439
01:09:08,698 --> 01:09:09,531
(radio noise)

2440
01:09:09,531 --> 01:09:10,691
- Hello. Ring-a-ding.

2441
01:09:10,691 --> 01:09:11,936
Blue base, come in.

2442
01:09:11,936 --> 01:09:12,816
Let's go. Hello.

2443
01:09:12,816 --> 01:09:13,649
Come in.

2444
01:09:13,649 --> 01:09:14,482
- What, hello?

2445
01:09:14,482 --> 01:09:15,315
Vic, is that you?

2446
01:09:15,315 --> 01:09:16,148
- Hey, dude.

2447
01:09:16,148 --> 01:09:16,981
How's it going?

2448
01:09:16,981 --> 01:09:17,814
Been a while since we spoke.

2449
01:09:17,814 --> 01:09:18,647
- Why are you calling me?

2450
01:09:18,647 --> 01:09:19,738
- Everything been going good?

2451
01:09:19,738 --> 01:09:20,741
Yeah, that's great.

2452
01:09:20,741 --> 01:09:21,755
Listen, don't have much time to talk.

2453
01:09:21,755 --> 01:09:23,738
Been discussing things
here at Blue Command.

2454
01:09:23,738 --> 01:09:27,221
We think everything is bad,
and now is the time to go

2455
01:09:27,221 --> 01:09:28,240
attack the Red base.

2456
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:29,734
Turns out the Reds are up
to no good, and somebody

2457
01:09:29,734 --> 01:09:30,917
needs to kill them.

2458
01:09:30,917 --> 01:09:32,134
A good way to do that
might be to send some

2459
01:09:32,134 --> 01:09:33,317
people through the caves.

2460
01:09:33,317 --> 01:09:34,320
Yeah.

2461
01:09:34,320 --> 01:09:35,153
Take them by surprise.

2462
01:09:35,153 --> 01:09:35,986
Anyway, can't talk. Gotta go.

2463
01:09:35,986 --> 01:09:36,819
See you la vista.

2464
01:09:36,819 --> 01:09:40,986
- Wait, wait, why do people
keep hanging up on me?

2465
01:09:47,653 --> 01:09:49,141
- Huh, what's all this business?

2466
01:09:49,141 --> 01:09:50,944
- It looks like a bunch of
computer equipment, sir.

2467
01:09:50,944 --> 01:09:52,576
- Excellent analysis, Simmons.

2468
01:09:52,576 --> 01:09:55,200
- And it's attached to
some kind of TV thing.

2469
01:09:55,200 --> 01:09:56,202
- So it is.

2470
01:09:56,202 --> 01:09:57,680
Astute deduction, Donut.

2471
01:09:57,680 --> 01:09:59,221
- It shows all different
parts of the canyon.

2472
01:09:59,221 --> 01:10:00,738
Look, there's our base.

2473
01:10:00,738 --> 01:10:01,754
- Ah, yes.

2474
01:10:01,754 --> 01:10:04,384
Another incredible observation
from the stating the obvious

2475
01:10:04,384 --> 01:10:05,402
department.

2476
01:10:05,402 --> 01:10:06,747
Thanks for nothing, numbnuts.

2477
01:10:06,747 --> 01:10:07,744
(sigh)

2478
01:10:07,744 --> 01:10:09,802
- Simmons, Donut, you two stay here.

2479
01:10:09,802 --> 01:10:11,861
Grif's going to continue
to help look for Andy.

2480
01:10:11,861 --> 01:10:13,061
- Fine.

2481
01:10:13,061 --> 01:10:14,637
(sigh)

2482
01:10:14,637 --> 01:10:15,744
I hate my job.

2483
01:10:15,744 --> 01:10:17,104
- Look, there's my room.

2484
01:10:17,104 --> 01:10:19,520
And the locker room.

2485
01:10:19,520 --> 01:10:21,379
And there's the showers.

2486
01:10:21,379 --> 01:10:23,541
Man, so many good memories.

2487
01:10:23,541 --> 01:10:25,559
- I hope this thing isn't
connected to the internet.

2488
01:10:25,559 --> 01:10:27,679
- The Blues must have set this up.

2489
01:10:27,679 --> 01:10:29,120
Crafty devils.

2490
01:10:29,120 --> 01:10:30,800
Spying on us all along!

2491
01:10:30,800 --> 01:10:32,181
What's all that?

2492
01:10:32,181 --> 01:10:33,482
- That looks like blue base.

2493
01:10:33,482 --> 01:10:35,141
- Why would the Blues spy on themselves?

2494
01:10:35,141 --> 01:10:37,162
- Maybe the Blues didn't set this up.

2495
01:10:37,162 --> 01:10:38,282
Someone else might have.

2496
01:10:38,282 --> 01:10:41,597
- Or maybe the Blues are so
incredibly arrogant, they just

2497
01:10:41,597 --> 01:10:43,517
want to see themselves on TV.

2498
01:10:43,517 --> 01:10:45,120
Or I bet they have those stupid

2499
01:10:45,120 --> 01:10:46,559
liberal equal time laws.

2500
01:10:46,559 --> 01:10:47,722
Commie Blue bastards.

2501
01:10:47,722 --> 01:10:50,177
- What if all this technology
is just left over from an

2502
01:10:50,177 --> 01:10:53,504
ancient civilization that was
way more advanced than us?

2503
01:10:53,504 --> 01:10:54,518
- Wait a minute.

2504
01:10:54,518 --> 01:10:57,562
How could an ancient
civilization be more advanced?

2505
01:10:57,562 --> 01:11:00,181
If they were so advanced,
where did they go?

2506
01:11:00,181 --> 01:11:03,280
- They could have mysteriously
disappeared, only leaving

2507
01:11:03,280 --> 01:11:06,613
behind a legacy of enigmatic technology.

2508
01:11:08,826 --> 01:11:09,946
- That's gay.

2509
01:11:09,946 --> 01:11:11,146
- Oh, let's finish this fight later.

2510
01:11:11,146 --> 01:11:12,162
- Look, what's that?

2511
01:11:12,162 --> 01:11:13,706
- (gasp) That looks like Sister's armor.

2512
01:11:13,706 --> 01:11:16,064
- Oh no! What happened to her?

2513
01:11:16,064 --> 01:11:17,824
- Clearly, she's been disintegrated.

2514
01:11:17,824 --> 01:11:18,859
- Why would they do that?

2515
01:11:18,859 --> 01:11:20,586
Oh, we can't tell Grif.

2516
01:11:20,586 --> 01:11:21,744
He's going to be devastated.

2517
01:11:21,744 --> 01:11:22,746
- Tell me what?

2518
01:11:22,746 --> 01:11:25,205
- Tell you that your sister's
been vaporized by the Blues.

2519
01:11:25,205 --> 01:11:26,218
- What?

2520
01:11:26,218 --> 01:11:27,223
- Sarge!

2521
01:11:27,223 --> 01:11:30,261
- Heh heh, it's just like
ripping off a Band-Aid.

2522
01:11:30,261 --> 01:11:31,802
Quick and incredibly painful.

2523
01:11:31,802 --> 01:11:33,124
- We just talked about this.

2524
01:11:33,124 --> 01:11:34,222
I thought we agreed not to tell him.

2525
01:11:34,222 --> 01:11:35,226
- What?

2526
01:11:35,226 --> 01:11:37,008
- You really need to start
thinking about other people's

2527
01:11:37,008 --> 01:11:38,224
feelings, Sarge.

2528
01:11:38,224 --> 01:11:41,626
- Son, the only thing I need
to do is stay Red and die.

2529
01:11:41,626 --> 01:11:42,624
- What?

2530
01:11:42,624 --> 01:11:43,824
- I'm really sorry, Grif.

2531
01:11:43,824 --> 01:11:44,962
She's dead.

2532
01:11:44,962 --> 01:11:46,346
- How could this have happened?

2533
01:11:46,346 --> 01:11:47,888
Oh man.

2534
01:11:47,888 --> 01:11:49,408
That was my little sister.

2535
01:11:49,408 --> 01:11:52,448
I mean, I know we don't always
see eye to eye, but I still

2536
01:11:52,448 --> 01:11:53,648
loved her.

2537
01:11:53,648 --> 01:11:54,885
- This has to be hard, Grif.

2538
01:11:54,885 --> 01:11:56,287
I don't know what to say.

2539
01:11:56,287 --> 01:11:57,491
- I, I just,

2540
01:11:57,491 --> 01:12:00,266
I had no idea the last time
I saw her was going to be the

2541
01:12:00,266 --> 01:12:01,770
last time ever.

2542
01:12:01,770 --> 01:12:04,704
I'd give anything to see her
again and just to talk to her

2543
01:12:04,704 --> 01:12:08,047
one last time, and I'm never
going to get that chance.

2544
01:12:08,047 --> 01:12:10,528
It's the most empty
feeling in the whole world.

2545
01:12:10,528 --> 01:12:12,069
- Oh hey, look!

2546
01:12:12,069 --> 01:12:14,147
She's not dead, she's just naked.

2547
01:12:14,147 --> 01:12:15,712
- What? That little slut!

2548
01:12:15,712 --> 01:12:16,747
I'm gonna kill her!

2549
01:12:16,747 --> 01:12:18,368
- Take a screenshot, take a screenshot!

2550
01:12:18,368 --> 01:12:20,309
- All right, I know
this might feel unusual

2551
01:12:20,309 --> 01:12:21,552
but for this next test,

2552
01:12:21,552 --> 01:12:24,272
I really need you to try
to keep your legs together.

2553
01:12:24,272 --> 01:12:25,909
No, together.

2554
01:12:25,909 --> 01:12:26,742
Together!

2555
01:12:27,886 --> 01:12:30,149
- Put your clothes back on!

2556
01:12:30,149 --> 01:12:32,250
What's the one thing I told you?

2557
01:12:32,250 --> 01:12:34,709
Don't embarrass the family!

2558
01:12:34,709 --> 01:12:35,712
- I don't think she's embarrassing it.

2559
01:12:35,712 --> 01:12:37,429
Whoa! Why is she doing splits?

2560
01:12:37,429 --> 01:12:38,432
- Huh.

2561
01:12:38,432 --> 01:12:39,973
Is this that Facebook
thing I keep hearing about?

2562
01:12:39,973 --> 01:12:40,970
- Does this thing take dollar bills?

2563
01:12:40,970 --> 01:12:41,973
- Come on.

2564
01:12:41,973 --> 01:12:43,829
That's my sister, and
you're looking at her naked.

2565
01:12:43,829 --> 01:12:45,034
- So? She's not our sister.

2566
01:12:45,034 --> 01:12:46,432
- Stop looking at her.

2567
01:12:46,432 --> 01:12:47,456
- Why does Donut get to look?

2568
01:12:47,456 --> 01:12:48,453
- Hey.

2569
01:12:48,453 --> 01:12:49,813
Why does the Blue base get so much more

2570
01:12:49,813 --> 01:12:51,232
natural light than ours?

2571
01:12:51,232 --> 01:12:54,432
It gives the interior a much
more airy and open feeling.

2572
01:12:54,432 --> 01:12:55,674
- That's why Donut gets to look.

2573
01:12:55,674 --> 01:12:58,092
- Oh, look, she's putting
her armor back on.

2574
01:12:58,092 --> 01:13:00,791
Uh, I mean, oh look, she is putting

2575
01:13:00,791 --> 01:13:01,890
her armor back on.

2576
01:13:01,890 --> 01:13:02,892
Good work, soldier.

2577
01:13:02,892 --> 01:13:03,890
- Don't patronize me.

2578
01:13:03,890 --> 01:13:04,892
- It looks like the Blues are having some

2579
01:13:04,892 --> 01:13:05,890
kind of meeting.

2580
01:13:05,890 --> 01:13:06,892
- What?

2581
01:13:06,892 --> 01:13:07,908
I knew it.

2582
01:13:07,908 --> 01:13:08,908
They're coming to attack our base.

2583
01:13:08,908 --> 01:13:10,085
Dirty backstabbers.

2584
01:13:10,085 --> 01:13:12,071
- I thought the Blues were
supposed to attack us.

2585
01:13:12,071 --> 01:13:13,111
- Dirty frontstabbers.

2586
01:13:13,111 --> 01:13:14,630
Simmons, what are they saying?

2587
01:13:14,630 --> 01:13:15,634
- I have no idea.

2588
01:13:15,634 --> 01:13:17,074
I can't find the volume on this monitor.

2589
01:13:17,074 --> 01:13:18,670
And without any sound, it just
looks like a bunch of helmets

2590
01:13:18,670 --> 01:13:19,911
bobbing up and down.

2591
01:13:19,911 --> 01:13:20,914
- Is that how they talk?

2592
01:13:20,914 --> 01:13:22,168
They look ridiculous.

2593
01:13:22,168 --> 01:13:23,730
- All right.

2594
01:13:23,730 --> 01:13:25,335
Vic called and said we should attack the

2595
01:13:25,335 --> 01:13:27,015
red base right away.

2596
01:13:27,015 --> 01:13:29,092
I don't know why, but I
guess we're going to do it.

2597
01:13:29,092 --> 01:13:30,091
- Attack?

2598
01:13:30,091 --> 01:13:32,151
Shouldn't we call soldiers
or the military for something

2599
01:13:32,151 --> 01:13:33,154
like that?

2600
01:13:33,154 --> 01:13:34,990
- And for some reason, he
thinks it's a good idea for

2601
01:13:34,990 --> 01:13:36,871
some of us to go through the caves.

2602
01:13:36,871 --> 01:13:38,551
- Why?
- I don't know. Who cares?

2603
01:13:38,551 --> 01:13:41,168
So me, Tex, and Tucker are
going to go right up the

2604
01:13:41,168 --> 01:13:42,162
middle.

2605
01:13:42,162 --> 01:13:43,052
- What about my kid?

2606
01:13:43,052 --> 01:13:43,885
He can't go into battle.

2607
01:13:43,885 --> 01:13:45,756
- Doc, Sister, and Junior,

2608
01:13:45,756 --> 01:13:47,196
you guys go get lost in the caves.

2609
01:13:47,196 --> 01:13:48,194
- Oh.

2610
01:13:48,194 --> 01:13:50,055
- We'll find you after the battle's over.

2611
01:13:50,055 --> 01:13:51,634
Unless we die, in which case
we won't find you, and you're

2612
01:13:51,634 --> 01:13:53,058
going to have to find us.

2613
01:13:53,058 --> 01:13:55,378
And if that happens, I want
to be buried as far away as

2614
01:13:55,378 --> 01:13:56,914
possible from these two.

2615
01:13:56,914 --> 01:13:58,578
- Yeah, and I want to be
stuffed and put on a couch

2616
01:13:58,578 --> 01:14:00,716
with a cooler full of beer,
a bag full of cheese puffs,

2617
01:14:00,716 --> 01:14:02,476
nonstop reruns of "Baywatch," and,

2618
01:14:02,476 --> 01:14:03,535
ah, you know what?

2619
01:14:03,535 --> 01:14:04,535
It's all in my will.

2620
01:14:04,535 --> 01:14:05,836
- What about me? Can I get lost, too?

2621
01:14:05,836 --> 01:14:06,834
- No, Caboose.

2622
01:14:06,834 --> 01:14:08,032
I need you to stay here and watch Sheila.

2623
01:14:08,032 --> 01:14:08,865
- Yeah.

2624
01:14:08,865 --> 01:14:10,110
If the transfer gets
interrupted, we might lose her

2625
01:14:10,110 --> 01:14:11,111
altogether.

2626
01:14:11,111 --> 01:14:12,114
- Oh, that would be bad.

2627
01:14:12,114 --> 01:14:14,332
- Right. Otherwise, how would
you accidentally kill people?

2628
01:14:14,332 --> 01:14:15,335
- Hmm.

2629
01:14:15,335 --> 01:14:16,455
Well, I suppose I could always-

2630
01:14:16,455 --> 01:14:18,215
- Shut up. That was rhetorical.

2631
01:14:18,215 --> 01:14:19,218
Tucker, come on. Let's go going.

2632
01:14:19,218 --> 01:14:20,215
- When should we go?

2633
01:14:20,215 --> 01:14:21,420
- I, I don't care.

2634
01:14:21,420 --> 01:14:23,239
Just be ready to come running
with the cavalry if we start

2635
01:14:23,239 --> 01:14:24,343
screaming in pain.

2636
01:14:24,343 --> 01:14:26,617
Unless Tucker starts screaming
in pain, in which case, you

2637
01:14:26,617 --> 01:14:28,482
know, feel free to point and laugh.

2638
01:14:28,482 --> 01:14:30,839
- Well, little dude, I guess
there's a time when every boy

2639
01:14:30,839 --> 01:14:31,922
becomes a man.

2640
01:14:31,922 --> 01:14:33,259
- Tucker, he's only three days old.

2641
01:14:33,259 --> 01:14:35,042
- Yeah, they grow up so fast.

2642
01:14:35,042 --> 01:14:36,263
- Also, he's not a boy.

2643
01:14:36,263 --> 01:14:37,260
He's a grub.

2644
01:14:37,260 --> 01:14:38,434
- The point is, you're on your own now,

2645
01:14:38,434 --> 01:14:39,543
and I don't have time

2646
01:14:39,543 --> 01:14:40,583
to tell you everything you need to know.

2647
01:14:40,583 --> 01:14:42,082
So here's a few brief pointers.

2648
01:14:42,082 --> 01:14:43,340
Invest in real estate.

2649
01:14:43,340 --> 01:14:45,063
There's no such thing
as a permanent record.

2650
01:14:45,063 --> 01:14:46,300
Always eat breakfast.

2651
01:14:46,300 --> 01:14:48,756
All the girls on the
internet are actually dudes.

2652
01:14:48,756 --> 01:14:51,202
And you should never, ever
buy the extended warranty on

2653
01:14:51,202 --> 01:14:53,260
anything, ever.

2654
01:14:53,260 --> 01:14:55,842
Oh, also, chicks like it when
you tell them they're pretty,

2655
01:14:55,842 --> 01:14:58,957
but they also like it when
you're kind of a dick to them.

2656
01:14:58,957 --> 01:15:00,219
So mix it up a little.

2657
01:15:00,219 --> 01:15:01,420
- Tucker, let's go.

2658
01:15:01,420 --> 01:15:02,460
- OK, little dude.

2659
01:15:02,460 --> 01:15:03,479
I got to go now.

2660
01:15:03,479 --> 01:15:05,159
Tex needs me and Church to back her up.

2661
01:15:05,159 --> 01:15:06,380
- Bow chicka honk honk.

2662
01:15:06,380 --> 01:15:07,463
- Huh.

2663
01:15:07,463 --> 01:15:08,759
I guess you have been
teaching him some stuff.

2664
01:15:08,759 --> 01:15:09,959
- Teach? You don't teach that.

2665
01:15:09,959 --> 01:15:10,913
That's just genetic.

2666
01:15:19,484 --> 01:15:20,482
- I don't see anything.

2667
01:15:20,482 --> 01:15:21,484
- I'll move up.

2668
01:15:21,484 --> 01:15:22,482
You two stay here.

2669
01:15:22,482 --> 01:15:23,484
- You want us to cover you?

2670
01:15:23,484 --> 01:15:24,503
- Yeah, cover me.

2671
01:15:24,503 --> 01:15:26,298
That way, I won't get hurt.

2672
01:15:26,298 --> 01:15:27,724
Just don't run away.

2673
01:15:27,724 --> 01:15:30,724
- Hey, you don't have to be a bitch.

2674
01:15:34,316 --> 01:15:35,373
- I don't see anything at all.

2675
01:15:35,373 --> 01:15:36,679
It's like they're all hiding or something.

2676
01:15:36,679 --> 01:15:37,858
- Uh, what do you see?

2677
01:15:37,858 --> 01:15:39,054
- I just said I don't see anything.

2678
01:15:39,054 --> 01:15:40,060
I just said that.

2679
01:15:40,060 --> 01:15:42,073
- Man, I hate that I never
get the fucking sniper rifle!

2680
01:15:42,073 --> 01:15:43,559
- Oh yeah, boo-hoo.

2681
01:15:43,559 --> 01:15:45,060
All you've got is your
stupid awesome sword.

2682
01:15:45,060 --> 01:15:46,076
I feel so sorry for you.

2683
01:15:46,076 --> 01:15:47,383
- Come on, dude, just once.

2684
01:15:47,383 --> 01:15:49,362
Let me use it just one time.

2685
01:15:49,362 --> 01:15:50,540
I won't ever ask again.

2686
01:15:50,540 --> 01:15:51,373
Please?

2687
01:15:52,423 --> 01:15:54,460
Please, please, please,
please, please, please?

2688
01:15:54,460 --> 01:15:55,463
- Can I use the sword?

2689
01:15:55,463 --> 01:15:56,460
- Oh, hell yes!

2690
01:15:56,460 --> 01:15:57,463
- All right, fine, here.

2691
01:15:57,463 --> 01:15:58,460
- Oh, kick-ass.

2692
01:15:58,460 --> 01:15:59,293
Heh heh.

2693
01:15:59,293 --> 01:16:00,126
OK, no, wait.

2694
01:16:00,126 --> 01:16:01,036
How do I zoom?

2695
01:16:01,036 --> 01:16:02,040
I'm zoomed!

2696
01:16:02,040 --> 01:16:03,039
- Hey, Tucker, this
sword doesn't even work.

2697
01:16:03,039 --> 01:16:04,044
What a fucking gyp.

2698
01:16:04,044 --> 01:16:05,362
- Now I, wait, what is this thing?

2699
01:16:05,362 --> 01:16:06,561
- OK, whatever, dude.

2700
01:16:06,561 --> 01:16:07,602
Just don't-

2701
01:16:07,602 --> 01:16:08,435
- Ow!

2702
01:16:08,435 --> 01:16:09,268
- What the fuck?

2703
01:16:09,268 --> 01:16:10,101
Did you just fire that thing?

2704
01:16:10,101 --> 01:16:11,084
- Oops. That was an accident.

2705
01:16:11,084 --> 01:16:12,460
- We're supposed to be
sneaking up on them, dumbass.

2706
01:16:12,460 --> 01:16:13,543
They're gonna hear us.

2707
01:16:13,543 --> 01:16:14,540
Gimme it back.

2708
01:16:14,540 --> 01:16:15,561
- Um, yeah.

2709
01:16:15,561 --> 01:16:16,562
OK, take it back.

2710
01:16:16,562 --> 01:16:17,564
- I knew there was a reason I
didn't let you use this thing

2711
01:16:17,564 --> 01:16:18,844
all these, hey, Tex.

2712
01:16:18,844 --> 01:16:19,943
What are you doing back, ow!

2713
01:16:19,943 --> 01:16:22,562
What the fuck did I do?

2714
01:16:22,562 --> 01:16:23,564
- Asshole.

2715
01:16:23,564 --> 01:16:24,882
- I told him to be
careful with that thing.

2716
01:16:24,882 --> 01:16:27,984
He's just not very good with it.

2717
01:16:27,984 --> 01:16:31,234
(computer powering on)

2718
01:16:34,924 --> 01:16:36,099
- Hello, and thank you for

2719
01:16:36,099 --> 01:16:37,766
activating the M808,

2720
01:16:39,687 --> 01:16:40,520
wait a minute.

2721
01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:41,847
Where am I?

2722
01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:43,666
- Sheila, you're awake.

2723
01:16:43,666 --> 01:16:44,786
I am so happy.

2724
01:16:44,786 --> 01:16:47,160
Look, we got you a new place to live.

2725
01:16:47,160 --> 01:16:49,068
Now you're the big ship lady.

2726
01:16:49,068 --> 01:16:50,326
- I like it.

2727
01:16:50,326 --> 01:16:52,348
It is so roomy.

2728
01:16:52,348 --> 01:16:55,527
Much nicer than that stuffy old tank.

2729
01:16:55,527 --> 01:16:57,360
- And now you can fly.

2730
01:16:59,004 --> 01:17:00,626
- Are you the pilot, Caboose?

2731
01:17:00,626 --> 01:17:03,106
Shall I run the tutorial program?

2732
01:17:03,106 --> 01:17:04,761
- Hmm, yeah.

2733
01:17:04,761 --> 01:17:07,428
Uh, let's not do that right now.

2734
01:17:09,445 --> 01:17:10,930
- Look, they're invading our base!

2735
01:17:10,930 --> 01:17:12,210
And we're not even there to defend it.

2736
01:17:12,210 --> 01:17:14,050
Oh, the humiliation!

2737
01:17:14,050 --> 01:17:16,930
Men, this aggression cannot stand.

2738
01:17:16,930 --> 01:17:20,428
We'll beat those Blues all the
way back across the canyon.

2739
01:17:20,428 --> 01:17:23,090
This is the moment we've
all been training for.

2740
01:17:23,090 --> 01:17:24,092
- Training?

2741
01:17:24,092 --> 01:17:25,090
We haven't done any training.

2742
01:17:25,090 --> 01:17:27,068
Wait, is sleep considered training?

2743
01:17:27,068 --> 01:17:29,511
- Simmons, as with all our
battle plans, I need you to

2744
01:17:29,511 --> 01:17:30,968
punch Grif in the back of the head.

2745
01:17:30,968 --> 01:17:31,967
Simmons?

2746
01:17:31,967 --> 01:17:33,330
Simmons?

2747
01:17:33,330 --> 01:17:34,782
- Uh-huh, yeah, I agree.

2748
01:17:34,782 --> 01:17:35,780
Everything you say is right.

2749
01:17:35,780 --> 01:17:36,786
Red Team's great.

2750
01:17:36,786 --> 01:17:37,783
Hooray.

2751
01:17:37,783 --> 01:17:39,127
- Simmons, stop watching those TVs.

2752
01:17:39,127 --> 01:17:40,164
- Yeah, Simmons.

2753
01:17:40,164 --> 01:17:41,163
Give it up.

2754
01:17:41,163 --> 01:17:42,567
There's not going to be any
more pictures of naked girls

2755
01:17:42,567 --> 01:17:43,581
on there.

2756
01:17:43,581 --> 01:17:44,567
- Shut up!

2757
01:17:44,567 --> 01:17:45,585
You don't know that.

2758
01:17:45,585 --> 01:17:46,581
Stop saying that.

2759
01:17:46,581 --> 01:17:47,724
He doesn't know what he's talking about.

2760
01:17:47,724 --> 01:17:49,426
- Men, this won't be easy.

2761
01:17:49,426 --> 01:17:51,506
The Blues will be totally bunkered down.

2762
01:17:51,506 --> 01:17:53,527
They have both bases, which
gives them an enormous

2763
01:17:53,527 --> 01:17:54,924
strategic advantage.

2764
01:17:54,924 --> 01:17:57,458
But we're the Red Team.

2765
01:17:57,458 --> 01:18:00,720
- Sure, you might not be the
best squad, might not be smart

2766
01:18:00,720 --> 01:18:04,300
or energetic or have any
skills that qualify you for

2767
01:18:04,300 --> 01:18:07,118
duty in any other legitimately
recognized military unit.

2768
01:18:07,118 --> 01:18:08,343
However-

2769
01:18:08,343 --> 01:18:09,623
- Where did that flag come from?

2770
01:18:09,623 --> 01:18:10,620
- Flag?

2771
01:18:10,620 --> 01:18:11,623
Who gives a fuck about the flag?

2772
01:18:11,623 --> 01:18:12,636
How about who's singing?

2773
01:18:12,636 --> 01:18:16,119
- But with precise operations
and proper communication, we

2774
01:18:16,119 --> 01:18:18,220
will emerge victorious.

2775
01:18:18,220 --> 01:18:21,879
With a little luck, one of
us in particular will die a

2776
01:18:21,879 --> 01:18:25,980
horrible death, either at the
hands of the Blues or as part

2777
01:18:25,980 --> 01:18:28,242
of a cunning distraction by yours truly.

2778
01:18:28,242 --> 01:18:29,773
- Why don't we just take over Blue base?

2779
01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:30,663
- Nonsense.

2780
01:18:30,663 --> 01:18:32,503
The Blue base are much more fortified.

2781
01:18:32,503 --> 01:18:34,060
Blue base has turrets.

2782
01:18:34,060 --> 01:18:35,260
Blue base has a tank.

2783
01:18:35,260 --> 01:18:36,457
- Blue base has no one in it.

2784
01:18:36,457 --> 01:18:37,290
- What?
- Look.

2785
01:18:37,290 --> 01:18:38,162
See?

2786
01:18:38,162 --> 01:18:39,282
They're all gone.

2787
01:18:39,282 --> 01:18:40,284
- Where'd they go?

2788
01:18:40,284 --> 01:18:41,282
- They went to Red base.

2789
01:18:41,282 --> 01:18:42,839
That's what we've been talking about.

2790
01:18:42,839 --> 01:18:45,324
- But which one of these
caves leads to the Blue base?

2791
01:18:45,324 --> 01:18:46,603
I'm all turned around down here.

2792
01:18:46,603 --> 01:18:48,020
- I have an idea.

2793
01:18:50,263 --> 01:18:52,604
See, these are dead Blues.

2794
01:18:52,604 --> 01:18:55,484
- Yes, Donut, we're all very
happy about the corpses.

2795
01:18:55,484 --> 01:18:56,683
You sicko.

2796
01:18:56,683 --> 01:18:57,682
- Don't you get it?

2797
01:18:57,682 --> 01:19:00,066
When they buried you, you fell down here.

2798
01:19:00,066 --> 01:19:03,106
When the Blues buried these
two guys, they fell in, too.

2799
01:19:03,106 --> 01:19:04,706
- I thought the Blues had three dead guys.

2800
01:19:04,706 --> 01:19:07,399
- So that means we're standing
right underneath Blue base.

2801
01:19:07,399 --> 01:19:09,982
All we need to do is head up
and take them from behind.

2802
01:19:09,982 --> 01:19:11,460
- Cavernous conundrum, he's right!

2803
01:19:11,460 --> 01:19:12,764
Let's go, men.

2804
01:19:12,764 --> 01:19:14,946
We'll grab their base
while they capture ours.

2805
01:19:14,946 --> 01:19:16,844
On to glorious victory!

2806
01:19:16,844 --> 01:19:18,524
- Technically, that's not victory.

2807
01:19:18,524 --> 01:19:20,301
It's more like a stalemate.

2808
01:19:20,301 --> 01:19:21,703
- On to equilibrium, then?

2809
01:19:21,703 --> 01:19:22,802
- Yeah, that'll work.

2810
01:19:22,802 --> 01:19:24,807
- (sigh) This war sucks.

2811
01:19:24,807 --> 01:19:27,367
- Diagnostic complete.

2812
01:19:27,367 --> 01:19:28,623
- Uh, Sheila, have you seen Tex?

2813
01:19:28,623 --> 01:19:31,826
- No. I have been running a
diagnostic on my new home.

2814
01:19:31,826 --> 01:19:35,245
I only need some minor repairs
to my landing gear, but I

2815
01:19:35,245 --> 01:19:38,647
require a replacement ignition
coil to become functional.

2816
01:19:38,647 --> 01:19:41,287
Do you have an ignition
coil, Private Caboose?

2817
01:19:41,287 --> 01:19:42,466
- Um, no.

2818
01:19:42,466 --> 01:19:44,386
Um, but, uh, Tex wanted me to tell her

2819
01:19:44,386 --> 01:19:45,944
when you started talking.

2820
01:19:45,944 --> 01:19:48,567
Um, and I'm supposed to find her.

2821
01:19:48,567 --> 01:19:51,308
- My sensors indicate
she is at the Red base.

2822
01:19:51,308 --> 01:19:53,847
- Oh no. That's the worst kind of base.

2823
01:19:53,847 --> 01:19:55,602
- Why did she want to speak to me?

2824
01:19:55,602 --> 01:19:57,647
- Oh, she just wanted to
know where O'Malley is.

2825
01:19:57,647 --> 01:19:58,647
- Oh.

2826
01:19:58,647 --> 01:19:59,650
Of course.

2827
01:19:59,650 --> 01:20:04,146
Would you like to know
where O'Malley is, Caboose?

2828
01:20:04,146 --> 01:20:06,188
- So by the time I got home, it was 4 AM.

2829
01:20:06,188 --> 01:20:08,449
And when my mom asked where I
was, I told her I was riding

2830
01:20:08,449 --> 01:20:10,071
around on the train all
night, which I guess

2831
01:20:10,071 --> 01:20:11,308
is technically true.

2832
01:20:11,308 --> 01:20:12,329
- Uh, yeah.

2833
01:20:12,329 --> 01:20:13,887
We don't have to talk about stuff anymore.

2834
01:20:13,887 --> 01:20:17,304
Let's just walk and not talk, ever again.

2835
01:20:18,287 --> 01:20:19,388
- Come on, little guy.

2836
01:20:19,388 --> 01:20:20,391
Hurry up.

2837
01:20:20,391 --> 01:20:21,388
- Honk!

2838
01:20:21,388 --> 01:20:22,391
- Oh my god.

2839
01:20:22,391 --> 01:20:23,388
Head.

2840
01:20:23,388 --> 01:20:24,871
- OK, please, really, no more stories.

2841
01:20:24,871 --> 01:20:26,267
- Seriously, it's a head.

2842
01:20:26,267 --> 01:20:27,271
Look.

2843
01:20:27,271 --> 01:20:28,104
- Huh?

2844
01:20:29,271 --> 01:20:30,521
- Oh, it's you.

2845
01:20:39,888 --> 01:20:40,892
- You know him?

2846
01:20:40,892 --> 01:20:42,050
- You speak Spanish?

2847
01:20:42,050 --> 01:20:43,646
- Uh, of course I do.

2848
01:20:43,646 --> 01:20:45,890
It's the year 2500, and I'm from America.

2849
01:20:45,890 --> 01:20:46,892
- Oh, cool.

2850
01:20:46,892 --> 01:20:48,975
Tell him O'Malley's gone.

2851
01:20:52,994 --> 01:20:54,450
- Who's O'Malley?

2852
01:20:54,450 --> 01:20:56,542
- All right, well, I guess let's break up

2853
01:20:56,542 --> 01:20:57,944
into teams and search the base.

2854
01:20:57,944 --> 01:20:58,884
- Got it.

2855
01:20:58,884 --> 01:20:59,717
- Tex.

2856
01:20:59,717 --> 01:21:01,447
Tex, are you there, Tex?

2857
01:21:01,447 --> 01:21:03,868
I know who O'Malley is.

2858
01:21:03,868 --> 01:21:05,271
- It looks like the Reds pulled out.

2859
01:21:05,271 --> 01:21:06,567
Does that mean we win?

2860
01:21:06,567 --> 01:21:08,367
- I suppose so.

2861
01:21:08,367 --> 01:21:10,359
I guess we have two bases in the middle

2862
01:21:10,359 --> 01:21:11,846
of a box canyon now.

2863
01:21:11,846 --> 01:21:13,068
- Whoop de fucking do.

2864
01:21:13,068 --> 01:21:14,071
Right, Tex?

2865
01:21:14,071 --> 01:21:16,348
- Don't move, O'Malley.

2866
01:21:16,348 --> 01:21:17,927
- Oh crap.

2867
01:21:17,927 --> 01:21:20,871
- And then Donut will use all
our grenades to bombard the

2868
01:21:20,871 --> 01:21:23,570
base while we move forward
in an advanced cover fire

2869
01:21:23,570 --> 01:21:24,567
formation.

2870
01:21:24,567 --> 01:21:25,847
- Got it And nobody hurts Sister.

2871
01:21:25,847 --> 01:21:27,068
That's my job.

2872
01:21:27,068 --> 01:21:28,747
- Why does Donut get to
stay on the sidelines?

2873
01:21:28,747 --> 01:21:30,108
- Because he's got a great arm.

2874
01:21:30,108 --> 01:21:31,970
Heh, he could've gone pro.

2875
01:21:31,970 --> 01:21:33,468
- It comes from years of tossing.

2876
01:21:33,468 --> 01:21:35,783
- And as discussed, in the
event that we are cornered and

2877
01:21:35,783 --> 01:21:38,530
no other options exist, Donut
will make sure to save at

2878
01:21:38,530 --> 01:21:42,344
least four grenades, one for
each of you and two for Grif.

2879
01:21:42,344 --> 01:21:43,991
- Anyone have a preference
of frag or sticky?

2880
01:21:43,991 --> 01:21:45,068
Tell me now.

2881
01:21:45,068 --> 01:21:46,725
I don't want any complaining later on.

2882
01:21:46,725 --> 01:21:47,728
- Frag.

2883
01:21:47,728 --> 01:21:48,727
No, wait, sticky.

2884
01:21:48,727 --> 01:21:49,868
- Surprise me.

2885
01:21:49,868 --> 01:21:51,045
- I'm going to change back to frag.

2886
01:21:51,045 --> 01:21:53,111
- Hey, Sarge, have you
thought about calling for

2887
01:21:53,111 --> 01:21:54,125
reinforcements?

2888
01:21:54,125 --> 01:21:55,650
Like when we called for the ship.

2889
01:21:55,650 --> 01:21:57,410
- You mean the ship that
crushed you while bringing

2890
01:21:57,410 --> 01:21:58,530
more Blue soldiers?

2891
01:21:58,530 --> 01:22:00,407
Yeah, maybe we shouldn't do that.

2892
01:22:00,407 --> 01:22:01,764
- It's worth a shot.

2893
01:22:01,764 --> 01:22:04,069
They owe us one now. Come in, command.

2894
01:22:04,069 --> 01:22:05,074
Are you there?

2895
01:22:05,074 --> 01:22:06,071
Vic, are you there?

2896
01:22:06,071 --> 01:22:07,074
Come in.

2897
01:22:07,074 --> 01:22:08,071
Is this thing on?

2898
01:22:08,071 --> 01:22:09,212
- Does anybody hear that echo?

2899
01:22:09,212 --> 01:22:10,210
- Yeah.

2900
01:22:10,210 --> 01:22:11,212
We're in a cave, Simmons.

2901
01:22:11,212 --> 01:22:12,914
Caves echo, duh.

2902
01:22:12,914 --> 01:22:14,488
That's how bats navigate.

2903
01:22:14,488 --> 01:22:16,492
- No, it seems like it's coming
from back the way we came.

2904
01:22:16,492 --> 01:22:17,490
- Did you say bats?

2905
01:22:17,490 --> 01:22:18,412
What bats?

2906
01:22:18,412 --> 01:22:19,245
Were you talking about bats?

2907
01:22:19,245 --> 01:22:20,833
- Um, just bats in general.

2908
01:22:20,833 --> 01:22:21,836
- Don't bullshit me, dude.

2909
01:22:21,836 --> 01:22:22,834
I heard bats.

2910
01:22:22,834 --> 01:22:23,848
- Hey.

2911
01:22:23,848 --> 01:22:24,765
Rojo amigo.

2912
01:22:25,912 --> 01:22:27,674
What's going on?

2913
01:22:27,674 --> 01:22:29,116
- Vic, we need help.

2914
01:22:29,116 --> 01:22:31,975
The Blues have executed a
brilliant plan, and it looks

2915
01:22:31,975 --> 01:22:34,012
like we've fallen for it perfectly.

2916
01:22:34,012 --> 01:22:36,716
No doubt they're celebrating
at our very own base as we

2917
01:22:36,716 --> 01:22:37,714
speak.

2918
01:22:37,714 --> 01:22:38,876
- Don't move.

2919
01:22:38,876 --> 01:22:39,954
- Ooh, busted.

2920
01:22:39,954 --> 01:22:40,990
Kill him, Tex.

2921
01:22:40,990 --> 01:22:43,170
I get 50:1 odds if his next
death is caused by anyone but

2922
01:22:43,170 --> 01:22:44,210
Caboose.

2923
01:22:44,210 --> 01:22:47,271
- We're going to die if we
don't get some help over here,

2924
01:22:47,271 --> 01:22:48,274
Vic.

2925
01:22:48,274 --> 01:22:50,045
- Uh, hey, dude. It's Vic
Jr. We already covered that.

2926
01:22:50,045 --> 01:22:53,170
- Vic Jr., we're going
to die if we don't get

2927
01:22:53,170 --> 01:22:54,588
some help over here.

2928
01:22:54,588 --> 01:22:55,591
- OK, dude.

2929
01:22:55,591 --> 01:22:56,588
Calm down.

2930
01:22:56,588 --> 01:22:57,591
Take a chill pill.

2931
01:22:57,591 --> 01:22:58,588
If you don't have a chill pill, take one

2932
01:22:58,588 --> 01:22:59,608
of those chill strips.

2933
01:22:59,608 --> 01:23:00,812
You put it on your tongue. It dissolves.

2934
01:23:00,812 --> 01:23:01,645
Chill.

2935
01:23:01,645 --> 01:23:02,748
I'll try to help, but
someone's been here, monkeying

2936
01:23:02,748 --> 01:23:03,810
with my equipment.

2937
01:23:03,810 --> 01:23:06,652
Just give me a second, and I'll, oh no.

2938
01:23:06,652 --> 01:23:07,511
Oh, man. I gotta go.

2939
01:23:07,511 --> 01:23:08,391
Bye. Try to win.

2940
01:23:08,391 --> 01:23:09,404
- Hello?

2941
01:23:09,404 --> 01:23:11,007
I don't hear any hold music.

2942
01:23:11,007 --> 01:23:13,068
Please don't transfer me to India.

2943
01:23:13,068 --> 01:23:13,901
Hello?

2944
01:23:15,655 --> 01:23:17,095
Vic Jr., we're going to
die if we don't get some

2945
01:23:17,095 --> 01:23:18,092
help over here.

2946
01:23:18,092 --> 01:23:19,095
- OK, dude.

2947
01:23:19,095 --> 01:23:20,092
Calm down.

2948
01:23:20,092 --> 01:23:21,095
Take a chill pill.

2949
01:23:21,095 --> 01:23:22,092
If you don't have a chill pill, take one

2950
01:23:22,092 --> 01:23:23,095
of those chill strips.

2951
01:23:23,095 --> 01:23:24,111
Put it on your tongue.

2952
01:23:24,111 --> 01:23:24,956
It dissolves. Chill.

2953
01:23:24,956 --> 01:23:26,236
I'll try to help, but
someone's been here, monkeying

2954
01:23:26,236 --> 01:23:27,336
with my equipment.

2955
01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:28,999
Just give me a second, and I'll-

2956
01:23:28,999 --> 01:23:29,996
- Hello, hello?

2957
01:23:29,996 --> 01:23:30,999
Who's there?

2958
01:23:30,999 --> 01:23:31,832
- No. Oh man, I gotta go.

2959
01:23:31,832 --> 01:23:32,665
Bye.

2960
01:23:32,665 --> 01:23:33,498
Try to win.

2961
01:23:33,498 --> 01:23:34,517
- Who's talking down here?

2962
01:23:34,517 --> 01:23:35,538
Hello.

2963
01:23:35,538 --> 01:23:37,095
- Oh, yes. I'm still here, Vic.

2964
01:23:37,095 --> 01:23:38,135
We need help.

2965
01:23:38,135 --> 01:23:39,138
- Sarge?

2966
01:23:39,138 --> 01:23:40,156
- Simmons, is that you?

2967
01:23:40,156 --> 01:23:40,989
- Yes.

2968
01:23:40,989 --> 01:23:42,962
- What the, do you work at command now?

2969
01:23:42,962 --> 01:23:44,482
When were you promoted?

2970
01:23:44,482 --> 01:23:45,682
- I don't work at command.

2971
01:23:45,682 --> 01:23:46,983
You called me here.

2972
01:23:46,983 --> 01:23:49,079
It looks like this monitoring
equipment is interfering with

2973
01:23:49,079 --> 01:23:50,477
our radios or something.

2974
01:23:50,477 --> 01:23:52,178
- Diabolical.

2975
01:23:52,178 --> 01:23:53,535
Well, get your keister back here.

2976
01:23:53,535 --> 01:23:55,100
Red command is useless.

2977
01:23:55,100 --> 01:23:56,199
- There's a news flash.

2978
01:23:56,199 --> 01:23:57,298
- Shut up, Grif.

2979
01:23:57,298 --> 01:23:58,535
- Did that order come from command?

2980
01:23:58,535 --> 01:23:59,938
- In fact, it did.

2981
01:23:59,938 --> 01:24:02,562
And they also ordered my foot to report up

2982
01:24:02,562 --> 01:24:03,999
your ass on the double.

2983
01:24:03,999 --> 01:24:06,014
- I can't believe I donated
organs for this fucking war.

2984
01:24:06,014 --> 01:24:08,097
- Tex, I am not O'Malley.

2985
01:24:08,997 --> 01:24:09,999
- Bullshit.

2986
01:24:09,999 --> 01:24:11,362
It all makes sense now.

2987
01:24:11,362 --> 01:24:13,618
You were the one that
told Gary where we were.

2988
01:24:13,618 --> 01:24:16,060
You were the one that wanted
me to disable Sheila by moving

2989
01:24:16,060 --> 01:24:17,298
her to the ship.

2990
01:24:17,298 --> 01:24:19,500
And you wanted the ignition
coil once I removed it.

2991
01:24:19,500 --> 01:24:20,770
- That's all coincidental.

2992
01:24:20,770 --> 01:24:22,058
It doesn't make me evil.

2993
01:24:22,058 --> 01:24:23,580
It just makes me a bad leader.

2994
01:24:23,580 --> 01:24:25,122
- Why would Caboose tell me it was you?

2995
01:24:25,122 --> 01:24:27,437
- You're getting information from Caboose.

2996
01:24:27,437 --> 01:24:29,478
- That's right.

2997
01:24:29,478 --> 01:24:30,658
- Dude, I'll tell you what.

2998
01:24:30,658 --> 01:24:34,577
If you get me killed again, I
gotta tell you, this time I'm

2999
01:24:34,577 --> 01:24:35,956
going to be a little pissed.

3000
01:24:35,956 --> 01:24:37,816
- Sheila told me that O'Malley might be

3001
01:24:37,816 --> 01:24:39,453
inside Blue leader.

3002
01:24:39,453 --> 01:24:40,860
- And that's you.

3003
01:24:40,860 --> 01:24:42,140
- Sheila's crazy, remember?

3004
01:24:42,140 --> 01:24:44,597
Besides, I was never
officially promoted to Blue

3005
01:24:44,597 --> 01:24:45,719
leader, anyway.

3006
01:24:45,719 --> 01:24:46,886
That's, oh no.

3007
01:24:48,001 --> 01:24:50,439
- So that's how you got here, Lopez?

3008
01:24:50,439 --> 01:24:54,189
What a strange, yet
totally believable story.

3009
01:24:56,319 --> 01:24:57,322
- Hi there.

3010
01:24:57,322 --> 01:24:58,444
I don't think we've met.

3011
01:24:58,444 --> 01:25:02,146
I'm Captain Butch Flowers,
and this is my friend.

3012
01:25:02,146 --> 01:25:03,447
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

3013
01:25:03,447 --> 01:25:04,280
Hey, wait.

3014
01:25:05,287 --> 01:25:07,164
Wasn't I sent here to replace you?

3015
01:25:07,164 --> 01:25:07,997
- Honk?

3016
01:25:09,324 --> 01:25:10,923
- Hey there, little guy.

3017
01:25:10,923 --> 01:25:15,923
I've been waiting a very,
very long time to meet you.

3018
01:25:16,044 --> 01:25:18,461
(evil laugh)

3019
01:25:21,682 --> 01:25:23,586
- I am not O'Malley, I'm telling you.

3020
01:25:23,586 --> 01:25:24,760
It's Flowers.

3021
01:25:24,760 --> 01:25:26,317
- Liar. Flowers is dead.

3022
01:25:26,317 --> 01:25:27,883
- Then what happened to the Reds, Tucker?

3023
01:25:27,883 --> 01:25:28,924
Where did they go?

3024
01:25:28,924 --> 01:25:30,880
I certainly didn't sneak over
here and scare them off in my

3025
01:25:30,880 --> 01:25:33,520
spare time, when I wasn't
dealing with you and Tex and

3026
01:25:33,520 --> 01:25:36,216
that new yellow freak and
that stupid, disgusting kid of

3027
01:25:36,216 --> 01:25:37,223
yours.

3028
01:25:37,223 --> 01:25:38,220
- OK, OK.

3029
01:25:38,220 --> 01:25:40,482
Man, I hope if Flowers is
alive, that he doesn't want

3030
01:25:40,482 --> 01:25:41,564
this armor back.

3031
01:25:41,564 --> 01:25:42,802
Hey, what's up with the Reds?

3032
01:25:42,802 --> 01:25:43,817
- Where are they?

3033
01:25:43,817 --> 01:25:45,076
- Who knows? Maybe it's lunch time.

3034
01:25:45,076 --> 01:25:47,216
Maybe the Red Army doesn't pay
overtime, and they all just

3035
01:25:47,216 --> 01:25:48,220
went home.

3036
01:25:48,220 --> 01:25:49,218
- All their stuff is here.

3037
01:25:49,218 --> 01:25:50,418
I don't think they evacuated.

3038
01:25:50,418 --> 01:25:51,799
- What do you think, Tex?

3039
01:25:51,799 --> 01:25:54,199
- I think we may have walked right into-

3040
01:25:54,199 --> 01:25:55,340
- A trap?

3041
01:25:55,340 --> 01:25:56,498
- Wyoming.

3042
01:25:56,498 --> 01:25:57,500
- OK, see?

3043
01:25:57,500 --> 01:25:59,282
Now, if I was O'Malley, I
would have known that was

3044
01:25:59,282 --> 01:26:00,335
gonna happen.

3045
01:26:00,335 --> 01:26:02,060
- Shouldn't we rethink this plan?

3046
01:26:02,060 --> 01:26:03,058
- Why?

3047
01:26:03,058 --> 01:26:04,456
- Well, now that Simmons has cut us off

3048
01:26:04,456 --> 01:26:06,738
from command, we're attacking
the enemy base with no

3049
01:26:06,738 --> 01:26:07,740
support.

3050
01:26:07,740 --> 01:26:08,882
- I didn't cut us off from command.

3051
01:26:08,882 --> 01:26:10,562
- You interrupted the radio transmission.

3052
01:26:10,562 --> 01:26:11,938
- No, I didn't.

3053
01:26:11,938 --> 01:26:13,522
Whoever Sarge was talking with

3054
01:26:13,522 --> 01:26:14,995
was already down in that cave.

3055
01:26:14,995 --> 01:26:17,138
I just walked up and started
talking to Sarge in the middle

3056
01:26:17,138 --> 01:26:18,140
of it.

3057
01:26:18,140 --> 01:26:19,557
- What the fuck do you
think interrupting means?

3058
01:26:19,557 --> 01:26:20,722
- Can it, you two.

3059
01:26:20,722 --> 01:26:21,719
- Yeah.

3060
01:26:21,719 --> 01:26:22,722
You're giving me a headache.

3061
01:26:22,722 --> 01:26:23,799
- Andy? Is that you?

3062
01:26:23,799 --> 01:26:26,072
- No, I'm the other talking bomb, Francis.

3063
01:26:26,072 --> 01:26:27,895
Pleased to meet you, you dickhead.

3064
01:26:27,895 --> 01:26:29,799
- I thought you were
busy helping the enemy.

3065
01:26:29,799 --> 01:26:31,716
- Ah, they didn't need me anymore.

3066
01:26:31,716 --> 01:26:34,338
Apparently, that revived
guy learned enough alien

3067
01:26:34,338 --> 01:26:35,794
language to get by.

3068
01:26:35,794 --> 01:26:37,916
And then it was, what have
you done for me lately?

3069
01:26:37,916 --> 01:26:40,135
- Hey, what was that deal they
were talking about when I was

3070
01:26:40,135 --> 01:26:41,171
all drugged out?

3071
01:26:41,171 --> 01:26:42,215
- Grif, I'm proud of you.

3072
01:26:42,215 --> 01:26:44,836
Admitting you have a
problem is the first step.

3073
01:26:44,836 --> 01:26:46,236
- Fuck off, Donut.

3074
01:26:46,236 --> 01:26:47,495
- Baby steps, Grif.

3075
01:26:47,495 --> 01:26:49,936
- That new alien is here
to find the old one,

3076
01:26:49,936 --> 01:26:51,434
and he revived the blue guy to help him.

3077
01:26:51,434 --> 01:26:52,997
But then something happened to him.

3078
01:26:52,997 --> 01:26:54,131
I don't know what.

3079
01:26:54,131 --> 01:26:56,253
He started acting all funky.

3080
01:26:56,253 --> 01:26:57,495
- The alien revived him.

3081
01:26:57,495 --> 01:26:58,492
- Yeah.

3082
01:26:58,492 --> 01:27:00,627
They don't treat life and
death the same way we do.

3083
01:27:00,627 --> 01:27:02,553
In fact, that little guy
that everyone thinks-

3084
01:27:02,553 --> 01:27:03,574
- We don't have time for this.

3085
01:27:03,574 --> 01:27:04,572
Let's go, men.

3086
01:27:04,572 --> 01:27:05,575
- Wait.

3087
01:27:05,575 --> 01:27:06,572
Take me with you!

3088
01:27:06,572 --> 01:27:08,948
- Andy, we're going into battle
unmanned, low on ammo, and

3089
01:27:08,948 --> 01:27:10,210
with no support.

3090
01:27:10,210 --> 01:27:13,011
What use could we
possibly have for a bomb?

3091
01:27:13,011 --> 01:27:14,375
- I could always act as a lookout.

3092
01:27:14,375 --> 01:27:15,975
Or a spy.

3093
01:27:15,975 --> 01:27:16,808
Or a chef.

3094
01:27:17,714 --> 01:27:21,714
Or, you know, you could
always use me as a bomb.

3095
01:27:22,772 --> 01:27:24,022
Oh, hey, Lopez.

3096
01:27:26,215 --> 01:27:27,618
- Wyoming.

3097
01:27:27,618 --> 01:27:28,615
- Ah, yes.

3098
01:27:28,615 --> 01:27:29,874
Hello, Tex.

3099
01:27:29,874 --> 01:27:31,254
So sorry to sneak up on you when you were

3100
01:27:31,254 --> 01:27:32,354
busy quarreling about,

3101
01:27:32,354 --> 01:27:34,978
well, whatever it is
exactly you people do here.

3102
01:27:34,978 --> 01:27:38,295
I'm guessing some kind of
ditch digging or something.

3103
01:27:38,295 --> 01:27:40,098
- Blue team doesn't even have shovels.

3104
01:27:40,098 --> 01:27:42,396
Which kind of sucks, because
our guys are the ones who keep

3105
01:27:42,396 --> 01:27:43,394
dying.

3106
01:27:43,394 --> 01:27:46,034
- And it looks like that
trend is going to continue.

3107
01:27:46,034 --> 01:27:47,255
- Oh, what, you're here for Tex?

3108
01:27:47,255 --> 01:27:48,876
Because if you are, she's right there.

3109
01:27:48,876 --> 01:27:49,954
All yours, buddy.

3110
01:27:49,954 --> 01:27:50,956
Go for it.

3111
01:27:50,956 --> 01:27:51,954
- Yeah, ladies first.

3112
01:27:51,954 --> 01:27:52,968
- Not at all.

3113
01:27:52,968 --> 01:27:54,455
I'm here for your little friend.

3114
01:27:54,455 --> 01:27:57,688
He's very important to a lot of people.

3115
01:27:57,688 --> 01:27:58,775
(radio noise)

3116
01:27:58,775 --> 01:28:00,178
- (coughing) Excuse me.

3117
01:28:00,178 --> 01:28:02,576
- Now that Church is possessed
by O'Malley and is evil, do

3118
01:28:02,576 --> 01:28:04,291
you think we'll have to
kick him off the team?

3119
01:28:04,291 --> 01:28:07,394
Then it would be just me
and my sidekick, Tucker.

3120
01:28:07,394 --> 01:28:10,991
That's not a lot of people on the team.

3121
01:28:10,991 --> 01:28:13,036
Also, I don't like Tucker.

3122
01:28:13,036 --> 01:28:13,953
Oh, I know.

3123
01:28:14,931 --> 01:28:17,954
Maybe we can convince one
of the Reds to switch sides.

3124
01:28:17,954 --> 01:28:19,815
Then we could give them Tucker.

3125
01:28:19,815 --> 01:28:21,778
That would fix both problems.

3126
01:28:21,778 --> 01:28:22,978
- I don't know.

3127
01:28:22,978 --> 01:28:24,535
That doesn't seem like it would work.

3128
01:28:24,535 --> 01:28:25,735
(phone ringing)

3129
01:28:25,735 --> 01:28:26,738
- Oh, Church is calling me.

3130
01:28:26,738 --> 01:28:28,354
Probably to ask me to
be his new best friend.

3131
01:28:28,354 --> 01:28:31,412
Or to infect me with a
horrible computer virus.

3132
01:28:31,412 --> 01:28:33,613
Excuse me for a minute, Sheila.

3133
01:28:33,613 --> 01:28:34,615
I have to take this.

3134
01:28:34,615 --> 01:28:35,618
- Affirmative.

3135
01:28:35,618 --> 01:28:36,633
- Yes.

3136
01:28:36,633 --> 01:28:37,633
Hello, evil Church.

3137
01:28:37,633 --> 01:28:38,654
What can I do for you?

3138
01:28:38,654 --> 01:28:40,636
- So, Wyoming, you just showed up

3139
01:28:40,636 --> 01:28:42,850
here and decided to attack us.

3140
01:28:42,850 --> 01:28:45,633
- Uh, my name is Caboose.

3141
01:28:45,633 --> 01:28:48,636
- And now you've caught us at gunpoint,

3142
01:28:48,636 --> 01:28:51,778
and it looks like we're in big trouble.

3143
01:28:51,778 --> 01:28:53,309
- Now that doesn't sound
like something I would do.

3144
01:28:53,309 --> 01:28:55,171
I think you have the wrong number.

3145
01:28:55,171 --> 01:28:56,855
- Here at Red base.

3146
01:28:56,855 --> 01:28:58,498
Wyoming.

3147
01:28:58,498 --> 01:29:01,116
You found us and are holding us prisoner.

3148
01:29:01,116 --> 01:29:02,449
At the Red base.

3149
01:29:03,534 --> 01:29:04,818
Wyoming.

3150
01:29:04,818 --> 01:29:05,874
- Uh, Red base, no.

3151
01:29:05,874 --> 01:29:07,454
Uh, I'm in the ship.

3152
01:29:07,454 --> 01:29:09,778
The ship.

3153
01:29:09,778 --> 01:29:12,055
Sheila, I think O'Malley
has driven him crazy.

3154
01:29:12,055 --> 01:29:14,199
Um, he's talking nonsense.

3155
01:29:14,199 --> 01:29:17,596
- If only someone nearby, someone with

3156
01:29:17,596 --> 01:29:20,978
access to a tank, somehow
knew what was going on

3157
01:29:20,978 --> 01:29:22,679
and could help us.

3158
01:29:22,679 --> 01:29:27,095
Someone, for instance, in blue
armor, who somehow knew about

3159
01:29:27,095 --> 01:29:31,053
the situation and figured out
what the fuck other people

3160
01:29:31,053 --> 01:29:34,578
were talking about and tried
to fucking to help us, and

3161
01:29:34,578 --> 01:29:36,272
then we would be saved.

3162
01:29:36,272 --> 01:29:39,465
- Yeah, he's definitely crazy.

3163
01:29:39,465 --> 01:29:41,991
Hey, Sheila, where's the
tank part of you going?

3164
01:29:41,991 --> 01:29:43,831
- Why do you keep explaining things to me?

3165
01:29:43,831 --> 01:29:46,034
I understand the situation perfectly.

3166
01:29:46,034 --> 01:29:48,503
I ambushed you, you're quivering in fear.

3167
01:29:48,503 --> 01:29:50,712
- Yeah. What are you, the
narrator now or something?

3168
01:29:50,712 --> 01:29:54,652
- I just want everyone to be
on the same page about Wyoming

3169
01:29:54,652 --> 01:29:57,671
ambushing us at the Red base.

3170
01:29:57,671 --> 01:29:59,228
- We know.
- Wyoming.

3171
01:29:59,228 --> 01:30:00,491
The bad guy.

3172
01:30:00,491 --> 01:30:01,487
- We know!

3173
01:30:01,487 --> 01:30:04,308
- And we're here at the Red
base, which isn't the Blue

3174
01:30:04,308 --> 01:30:08,588
base or the caves or the
cliffs or that weird tree or

3175
01:30:08,588 --> 01:30:10,130
the windmill.

3176
01:30:10,130 --> 01:30:11,991
- We get it, dude. We're
standing right here.

3177
01:30:11,991 --> 01:30:13,767
- Maybe we should take this from the top.

3178
01:30:13,767 --> 01:30:15,228
Do you want to write this down?

3179
01:30:15,228 --> 01:30:16,231
- No.

3180
01:30:16,231 --> 01:30:18,108
- I think your friend
here has lost his marbles.

3181
01:30:18,108 --> 01:30:19,468
- Oh, you want to see crazy?

3182
01:30:19,468 --> 01:30:21,044
Wait until you try to take my fucking kid.

3183
01:30:21,044 --> 01:30:22,450
What do you want with him, anyway?

3184
01:30:22,450 --> 01:30:23,490
He never did anything to you.

3185
01:30:23,490 --> 01:30:24,807
- It's not what he did.

3186
01:30:24,807 --> 01:30:26,646
It's what he's going to do.

3187
01:30:26,646 --> 01:30:28,528
That child is very special.

3188
01:30:28,528 --> 01:30:29,788
- Yeah, I know.

3189
01:30:29,788 --> 01:30:32,231
I guess I should have read
to him more or something.

3190
01:30:32,231 --> 01:30:34,726
- Not that kind of special, you half-wit.

3191
01:30:34,726 --> 01:30:35,887
I mean he's important.

3192
01:30:35,887 --> 01:30:38,412
- Red base. No one is
in the state of Wyoming.

3193
01:30:38,412 --> 01:30:39,810
- There's the base.

3194
01:30:39,810 --> 01:30:40,908
- It looks like they're in trouble.

3195
01:30:40,908 --> 01:30:42,572
Is that that bounty hunter guy?

3196
01:30:42,572 --> 01:30:43,932
That guy's a dick.

3197
01:30:43,932 --> 01:30:46,551
- Ah, the blues have
overextended themselves and

3198
01:30:46,551 --> 01:30:48,028
spread their forces too thin.

3199
01:30:48,028 --> 01:30:49,407
Classic blunder.

3200
01:30:49,407 --> 01:30:50,871
Change of plans, men.

3201
01:30:50,871 --> 01:30:53,326
Instead of hitting Blue base,
we're going to take back our

3202
01:30:53,326 --> 01:30:54,450
own base.

3203
01:30:54,450 --> 01:30:55,466
- Tank!

3204
01:30:55,466 --> 01:30:56,468
- Oh shit!

3205
01:30:56,468 --> 01:30:57,301
- Re-change of plans, men!

3206
01:30:57,301 --> 01:30:58,134
- Fuck this!

3207
01:30:58,134 --> 01:30:58,967
- Blue base it is.

3208
01:30:58,967 --> 01:31:01,527
- That little alien of yours
has a very important destiny

3209
01:31:01,527 --> 01:31:02,530
to fulfill.

3210
01:31:02,530 --> 01:31:05,410
And we're going to make sure he doesn't.

3211
01:31:05,410 --> 01:31:06,668
- Well, he's not here, so guess what?

3212
01:31:06,668 --> 01:31:07,991
You're shit outta luck.

3213
01:31:07,991 --> 01:31:09,125
- I'm well aware.

3214
01:31:09,125 --> 01:31:10,871
My partner is taking care of that little

3215
01:31:10,871 --> 01:31:12,471
acquisition right now.

3216
01:31:12,471 --> 01:31:14,748
I'm just here to tidy up a bit.

3217
01:31:14,748 --> 01:31:16,188
- How'd you sneak up on us, anyway?

3218
01:31:16,188 --> 01:31:17,831
Tex, I thought you were
supposed to be good at this

3219
01:31:17,831 --> 01:31:19,006
stealth stuff.

3220
01:31:19,006 --> 01:31:20,087
- I am.

3221
01:31:20,087 --> 01:31:21,384
- Wow, that's awesome.

3222
01:31:21,384 --> 01:31:22,610
Good for you.

3223
01:31:22,610 --> 01:31:23,511
- Oh no.

3224
01:31:23,511 --> 01:31:25,372
Tex has gone invisible.

3225
01:31:25,372 --> 01:31:27,632
Whatever shall I do?

3226
01:31:27,632 --> 01:31:29,452
Fretting, worry.

3227
01:31:29,452 --> 01:31:30,914
- Dude, I wouldn't sound so smug.

3228
01:31:30,914 --> 01:31:32,772
She kicked your ass last time,
and you weren't outnumbered

3229
01:31:32,772 --> 01:31:33,911
like you are now.

3230
01:31:33,911 --> 01:31:37,244
- (laughing) It worked!

3231
01:31:38,548 --> 01:31:40,535
I can't believe Caboose came through!

3232
01:31:40,535 --> 01:31:41,852
How do you like that, Wyoming?

3233
01:31:41,852 --> 01:31:43,209
We even have our tank now.

3234
01:31:43,209 --> 01:31:44,918
Boo-yah, motherfucker!

3235
01:31:44,918 --> 01:31:47,538
- (laughing smugly) Your tank?

3236
01:31:47,538 --> 01:31:49,436
- Knock knock, Church.

3237
01:31:49,436 --> 01:31:50,269
- Oh shit.

3238
01:31:51,317 --> 01:31:54,018
- (laughing) It worked!

3239
01:31:54,018 --> 01:31:55,559
I can't believe Caboose came through.

3240
01:31:55,559 --> 01:31:56,978
How do you like that, Wyoming?

3241
01:31:56,978 --> 01:31:58,402
We even have our tank now.

3242
01:31:58,402 --> 01:31:59,719
Boo-yah, motherfuck-

3243
01:31:59,719 --> 01:32:04,719
- Sheila, um, did you send the
tank out there to help them?

3244
01:32:04,780 --> 01:32:05,794
- Negative.

3245
01:32:05,794 --> 01:32:06,798
- Oh.

3246
01:32:06,798 --> 01:32:08,079
So the tank went out there,

3247
01:32:08,079 --> 01:32:09,698
on its own.

3248
01:32:09,698 --> 01:32:10,700
- Affirmative.

3249
01:32:10,700 --> 01:32:12,679
- Sheila, I think they
might be in trouble.

3250
01:32:12,679 --> 01:32:13,682
- Affirmative.

3251
01:32:13,682 --> 01:32:15,500
- I should help them!

3252
01:32:15,500 --> 01:32:16,700
- Affirmative.

3253
01:32:16,700 --> 01:32:17,840
- I can go out there-

3254
01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:18,838
- Negative.

3255
01:32:18,838 --> 01:32:19,858
- And help them beat Wyoming-

3256
01:32:19,858 --> 01:32:20,860
- Negative.

3257
01:32:20,860 --> 01:32:21,858
- And save the day-

3258
01:32:21,858 --> 01:32:22,860
- No.

3259
01:32:22,860 --> 01:32:23,858
- And everyone will love me!

3260
01:32:23,858 --> 01:32:24,879
- What?

3261
01:32:24,879 --> 01:32:26,300
- Especially Church!

3262
01:32:26,300 --> 01:32:28,338
- My sensors indicate
you don't stand a chance.

3263
01:32:28,338 --> 01:32:29,479
- Thanks, Sheila.

3264
01:32:29,479 --> 01:32:31,229
This is a great plan!

3265
01:32:33,170 --> 01:32:34,655
- You know, I really can't
thank you enough for leaving

3266
01:32:34,655 --> 01:32:36,679
your tank completely unattended.

3267
01:32:36,679 --> 01:32:38,515
It was very kind of you, old chap.

3268
01:32:38,515 --> 01:32:41,180
Makes your defeat and
humiliation so much easier.

3269
01:32:41,180 --> 01:32:42,615
- Yeah? Well, great.

3270
01:32:42,615 --> 01:32:43,617
Glad we could help.

3271
01:32:43,617 --> 01:32:45,112
I'm sure if you give us
enough time, we'll just kill

3272
01:32:45,112 --> 01:32:46,818
ourselves, save you some ammo.

3273
01:32:46,818 --> 01:32:48,055
- If it makes you feel any
better, your death is for a

3274
01:32:48,055 --> 01:32:49,996
very noble cause.

3275
01:32:49,996 --> 01:32:51,276
- What do you want with
Tucker's kid, anyway?

3276
01:32:51,276 --> 01:32:52,873
- What? How did we get here?

3277
01:32:52,873 --> 01:32:53,706
What?

3278
01:32:53,706 --> 01:32:54,539
- What's wrong with you?

3279
01:32:54,539 --> 01:32:55,916
- With me? What's happening?

3280
01:32:55,916 --> 01:32:58,055
- Um, we're being held prisoner.

3281
01:32:58,055 --> 01:32:59,314
Where the hell have you been?

3282
01:32:59,314 --> 01:33:00,359
- What? How?

3283
01:33:00,359 --> 01:33:01,479
I'm so confused.

3284
01:33:01,479 --> 01:33:03,580
- What do you mean, how? Are you retarded?

3285
01:33:03,580 --> 01:33:05,420
- But Tex. She-

3286
01:33:05,420 --> 01:33:06,418
- I know.

3287
01:33:06,418 --> 01:33:07,319
Tex'll take him out.

3288
01:33:07,319 --> 01:33:08,691
- Oh, right, Tex.

3289
01:33:08,691 --> 01:33:09,774
You mean her?

3290
01:33:11,093 --> 01:33:12,436
Poor Tex.

3291
01:33:12,436 --> 01:33:14,636
Never could figure out
when she'd been beaten.

3292
01:33:14,636 --> 01:33:16,620
- What? How'd you know where she was?

3293
01:33:16,620 --> 01:33:17,618
- What do you mean?

3294
01:33:17,618 --> 01:33:18,658
That's where she was before.

3295
01:33:18,658 --> 01:33:19,877
- Before what?

3296
01:33:19,877 --> 01:33:21,754
Tucker, have you gone insane?

3297
01:33:21,754 --> 01:33:22,759
- Wait a minute.

3298
01:33:22,759 --> 01:33:23,756
What's going on?

3299
01:33:23,756 --> 01:33:24,759
- I think he knows.

3300
01:33:24,759 --> 01:33:25,756
- I think you're right.

3301
01:33:25,756 --> 01:33:26,759
- Church.

3302
01:33:26,759 --> 01:33:27,879
I am coming to help.

3303
01:33:27,879 --> 01:33:29,900
Don't start without me.

3304
01:33:29,900 --> 01:33:30,898
- It's the idiot.

3305
01:33:30,898 --> 01:33:31,900
Take care of him, quickly.

3306
01:33:31,900 --> 01:33:32,914
- Right.

3307
01:33:32,914 --> 01:33:33,914
- Caboose, no!

3308
01:33:33,914 --> 01:33:34,919
Stay back!

3309
01:33:34,919 --> 01:33:36,199
Don't get near the tank!

3310
01:33:36,199 --> 01:33:37,639
(scream)

3311
01:33:37,639 --> 01:33:38,655
- Caboose!

3312
01:33:38,655 --> 01:33:39,488
No!

3313
01:33:41,756 --> 01:33:42,589
- Whoa.

3314
01:33:43,479 --> 01:33:45,717
Looks like the blue on just
got killed by the tank.

3315
01:33:45,717 --> 01:33:47,559
- A Blue got killed by their own tank?

3316
01:33:47,559 --> 01:33:49,756
Man, I just had the
weirdest sense of deja vu.

3317
01:33:49,756 --> 01:33:52,275
- Hey, speaking of getting
tanked, we should see if the

3318
01:33:52,275 --> 01:33:53,870
Blues have any beer around here.

3319
01:33:53,870 --> 01:33:54,955
- Hi-yo!

3320
01:33:54,955 --> 01:33:56,415
- Eliminate them.

3321
01:33:56,415 --> 01:33:57,412
- No!

3322
01:33:57,412 --> 01:33:58,245
Move!

3323
01:34:01,412 --> 01:34:02,245
Look out!

3324
01:34:03,492 --> 01:34:04,512
- Caboose!

3325
01:34:04,512 --> 01:34:05,511
Caboose!

3326
01:34:05,511 --> 01:34:06,573
Ah, fuck, he's not moving.

3327
01:34:06,573 --> 01:34:09,371
- I'm telling you, he's
dead, just like last time.

3328
01:34:09,371 --> 01:34:12,772
- Tucker, you are going to
start making sense right now.

3329
01:34:12,772 --> 01:34:14,095
That's an order.

3330
01:34:14,095 --> 01:34:15,194
- This already happened.

3331
01:34:15,194 --> 01:34:16,394
Wyoming shot Caboose.

3332
01:34:16,394 --> 01:34:18,516
Tex jumped Wyoming and knocked
his gun away, and then-

3333
01:34:18,516 --> 01:34:19,636
- Tex is unconscious!

3334
01:34:19,636 --> 01:34:21,273
- Fucking A, I know.

3335
01:34:21,273 --> 01:34:22,309
That's what I'm saying.

3336
01:34:22,309 --> 01:34:24,849
(shout)

3337
01:34:24,849 --> 01:34:26,050
- Uh-

3338
01:34:26,050 --> 01:34:27,076
I hit him!

3339
01:34:27,076 --> 01:34:28,074
I hit him!

3340
01:34:28,074 --> 01:34:29,076
I can't believe I hit,

3341
01:34:29,076 --> 01:34:30,634
I mean, I knew this
sniper rifle was awesome.

3342
01:34:30,634 --> 01:34:31,674
- This is just like last time.

3343
01:34:31,674 --> 01:34:33,476
Once Wyoming lost, everything seemed to,

3344
01:34:33,476 --> 01:34:34,309
reset.

3345
01:34:35,876 --> 01:34:37,732
- You know, I really can't
thank you enough for leaving

3346
01:34:37,732 --> 01:34:39,695
your tank completely unattended.

3347
01:34:39,695 --> 01:34:41,434
It was very kind of you, old chap.

3348
01:34:41,434 --> 01:34:44,090
Makes your defeat and
humiliation so much easier.

3349
01:34:44,090 --> 01:34:45,092
- Yeah?

3350
01:34:45,092 --> 01:34:46,095
Well, great.

3351
01:34:46,095 --> 01:34:47,092
Glad we could help.

3352
01:34:47,092 --> 01:34:48,095
I'm sure if you give us
enough time, we'll just kill

3353
01:34:48,095 --> 01:34:49,556
ourselves, save you some ammo.

3354
01:34:49,556 --> 01:34:51,090
- If it makes you feel any
better, your death is for a

3355
01:34:51,090 --> 01:34:52,874
very noble cause.

3356
01:34:52,874 --> 01:34:54,036
- What do you want with
Tucker's kid, anyway?

3357
01:34:54,036 --> 01:34:55,092
- What is going on?

3358
01:34:55,092 --> 01:34:57,434
- Um, we're being held prisoner.

3359
01:34:57,434 --> 01:34:58,852
Where the hell have you been?

3360
01:34:58,852 --> 01:35:00,394
- Church, don't you remember any of this?

3361
01:35:00,394 --> 01:35:02,112
- Tucker, what the fuck
are you talking about?

3362
01:35:02,112 --> 01:35:03,135
- He knows.

3363
01:35:03,135 --> 01:35:04,815
- How the devil is he keeping up with us?

3364
01:35:04,815 --> 01:35:05,812
- Irrelevant.

3365
01:35:05,812 --> 01:35:06,972
Eliminate him.

3366
01:35:06,972 --> 01:35:08,171
- No!

3367
01:35:08,171 --> 01:35:09,172
Move!

3368
01:35:09,172 --> 01:35:10,175
Tex, look out!

3369
01:35:10,175 --> 01:35:11,172
He knows where you are.

3370
01:35:11,172 --> 01:35:12,175
- What?

3371
01:35:12,175 --> 01:35:14,346
- Church, I am coming to help.

3372
01:35:14,346 --> 01:35:16,234
Don't start without me.

3373
01:35:16,234 --> 01:35:18,852
- Oh shit, I forgot about Caboose!

3374
01:35:18,852 --> 01:35:20,330
(gunshot)

3375
01:35:20,330 --> 01:35:21,711
- Argh, I am dead!

3376
01:35:21,711 --> 01:35:22,992
- Caboose!

3377
01:35:22,992 --> 01:35:24,634
No!

3378
01:35:24,634 --> 01:35:25,631
- Yowza.

3379
01:35:25,631 --> 01:35:27,088
Looks like the blue one just got sniped.

3380
01:35:27,088 --> 01:35:28,751
- Hey, speaking of getting
sniped, we should see if the

3381
01:35:28,751 --> 01:35:30,890
Blues have any beer around here?

3382
01:35:30,890 --> 01:35:32,527
- What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

3383
01:35:32,527 --> 01:35:33,526
- I don't know.

3384
01:35:33,526 --> 01:35:35,652
It sounded a lot funnier in
my head before I said it.

3385
01:35:35,652 --> 01:35:37,787
- Man, I just had the
weirdest sense of deja vu.

3386
01:35:37,787 --> 01:35:39,370
- Aw crap.

3387
01:35:39,370 --> 01:35:40,528
- What do you mean, aw crap?

3388
01:35:40,528 --> 01:35:41,972
Caboose just got killed.

3389
01:35:41,972 --> 01:35:43,791
- Yeah, I know, but I'm
pretty sure it's OK.

3390
01:35:43,791 --> 01:35:46,645
Somehow, Wyoming keeps looping
us through the same events,

3391
01:35:46,645 --> 01:35:49,626
over and over again, and no
one but me seems to remember.

3392
01:35:49,626 --> 01:35:52,250
I don't know how, but every
time he gets hurt, things just

3393
01:35:52,250 --> 01:35:53,252
start-

3394
01:35:53,252 --> 01:35:54,166
- Yeah? Well, great.

3395
01:35:54,166 --> 01:35:54,999
Glad we could help.

3396
01:35:54,999 --> 01:35:56,191
I'm sure if you give us
enough time, we'll just kill

3397
01:35:56,191 --> 01:35:57,770
ourselves, save you some ammo.

3398
01:35:57,770 --> 01:35:59,268
- Yeah, what do you want
with my kid, anyway?

3399
01:35:59,268 --> 01:36:01,050
- You don't remember?

3400
01:36:01,050 --> 01:36:02,052
- Remember?

3401
01:36:02,052 --> 01:36:03,584
You never told me anything.

3402
01:36:03,584 --> 01:36:05,770
- I think it worked that time.

3403
01:36:05,770 --> 01:36:07,050
- Apparently.

3404
01:36:07,050 --> 01:36:08,228
Keep your eye on him next time.

3405
01:36:08,228 --> 01:36:09,668
- What the fuck are
you guys talking about?

3406
01:36:09,668 --> 01:36:10,809
Oh, you know what?

3407
01:36:10,809 --> 01:36:11,828
Never mind. Keep talking.

3408
01:36:11,828 --> 01:36:13,210
Waste time until Tex kills you.

3409
01:36:13,210 --> 01:36:15,046
- Oh, right, dear Tex.

3410
01:36:15,046 --> 01:36:16,129
You mean her?

3411
01:36:17,167 --> 01:36:19,007
Oh, poor Tex.

3412
01:36:19,007 --> 01:36:20,831
Never could understand when she was-

3413
01:36:20,831 --> 01:36:21,664
- Beaten?

3414
01:36:22,650 --> 01:36:23,483
- Oh dear.

3415
01:36:24,511 --> 01:36:25,344
- Reggie?

3416
01:36:27,187 --> 01:36:28,271
- That's right, bitch.

3417
01:36:28,271 --> 01:36:29,665
I take care of my kids.

3418
01:36:29,665 --> 01:36:31,370
- I am coming to help.

3419
01:36:31,370 --> 01:36:33,268
Don't start without me.

3420
01:36:33,268 --> 01:36:34,545
- Caboose, get the fuck out of here!

3421
01:36:34,545 --> 01:36:36,148
- OK, bye.

3422
01:36:36,148 --> 01:36:37,492
I don't want to help anymore.

3423
01:36:37,492 --> 01:36:38,511
- Whoa.

3424
01:36:38,511 --> 01:36:40,148
Looks the white guy just got stabbed.

3425
01:36:40,148 --> 01:36:41,905
- Hey, speaking of getting stabbed,

3426
01:36:41,905 --> 01:36:44,170
I think I have a headache
all of the sudden.

3427
01:36:44,170 --> 01:36:45,907
For some reason, I want a beer.

3428
01:36:45,907 --> 01:36:48,531
- Man, I just had the weirdest
sense of, man, what's that

3429
01:36:48,531 --> 01:36:50,970
thing called when you think
you've done something, but you

3430
01:36:50,970 --> 01:36:52,751
don't know if you did it?

3431
01:36:52,751 --> 01:36:53,812
- How the fuck should I know?

3432
01:36:53,812 --> 01:36:55,951
- Tucker, how did you know
that was going to happen?

3433
01:36:55,951 --> 01:36:56,991
- 'Cause of Wyoming.

3434
01:36:56,991 --> 01:36:59,264
You know how Tex said every
Freelancer had an AI and a

3435
01:36:59,264 --> 01:37:00,303
special ability?

3436
01:37:00,303 --> 01:37:01,307
- Yeah.

3437
01:37:01,307 --> 01:37:02,772
- I think Wyoming can loop
us through little segments of

3438
01:37:02,772 --> 01:37:04,688
time, and he just keeps doing
it over and over again until

3439
01:37:04,688 --> 01:37:05,812
he wins.

3440
01:37:05,812 --> 01:37:06,849
- Wait, what?

3441
01:37:06,849 --> 01:37:07,951
How many times did we loop?

3442
01:37:07,951 --> 01:37:09,088
- Who knows?

3443
01:37:09,088 --> 01:37:10,090
Doesn't matter now.

3444
01:37:10,090 --> 01:37:11,108
That cocksucker's dead.

3445
01:37:11,108 --> 01:37:12,452
- No, no, it does matter.

3446
01:37:12,452 --> 01:37:14,410
Don't you remember when we
came here to begin with, I got

3447
01:37:14,410 --> 01:37:17,028
stuck in a loop, and
every time I went back, I

3448
01:37:17,028 --> 01:37:18,228
left a bunch of

3449
01:37:19,928 --> 01:37:20,868
copies.

3450
01:37:20,868 --> 01:37:24,372
- Yes, everything is
coming together as planned.

3451
01:37:24,372 --> 01:37:28,015
And these fools still have no idea.

3452
01:37:28,015 --> 01:37:32,048
Once the young one gets
his sword, there will be no

3453
01:37:32,048 --> 01:37:33,652
stopping us.

3454
01:37:33,652 --> 01:37:35,071
- Hey, what about the other guy, dude?

3455
01:37:35,071 --> 01:37:36,292
Does he know about the
thing with the thing?

3456
01:37:36,292 --> 01:37:38,772
- No, that beast does not
suspect anything, either.

3457
01:37:38,772 --> 01:37:42,111
Everyone has played right into our hands.

3458
01:37:42,111 --> 01:37:44,528
(evil laugh)

3459
01:37:47,194 --> 01:37:49,252
OK, maybe that was a little loud.

3460
01:37:49,252 --> 01:37:51,171
(evil chuckle)

3461
01:37:51,171 --> 01:37:52,175
There.

3462
01:37:52,175 --> 01:37:53,172
That's better.

3463
01:37:53,172 --> 01:37:54,575
- They're getting away!

3464
01:37:54,575 --> 01:37:55,408
- Come on!

3465
01:37:55,408 --> 01:37:56,241
- Cut them off!

3466
01:37:56,241 --> 01:37:57,074
- Why aren't you being
affected by any of this?

3467
01:37:57,074 --> 01:37:57,907
- Remember the sniper shot.

3468
01:37:57,907 --> 01:37:58,740
- He said it has something
to do with the sword.

3469
01:37:58,740 --> 01:37:59,573
(shout)

3470
01:37:59,573 --> 01:38:01,131
- I told you to watch for the sniper shot.

3471
01:38:01,131 --> 01:38:02,290
- Who said? When?

3472
01:38:03,371 --> 01:38:04,304
- Just trust me.

3473
01:38:04,304 --> 01:38:06,517
- Get off the ledge, you fool.
(shout)

3474
01:38:06,517 --> 01:38:07,350
- The cliff!

3475
01:38:07,350 --> 01:38:08,363
Head for the cliff!

3476
01:38:08,363 --> 01:38:09,369
- This time, flank him.

3477
01:38:09,369 --> 01:38:10,368
- That's where Tex will be.

3478
01:38:10,368 --> 01:38:11,371
- Are you sure?

3479
01:38:11,371 --> 01:38:12,368
- No, not that way.

3480
01:38:12,368 --> 01:38:14,014
- Now I've got you!
- Whoa!

3481
01:38:14,014 --> 01:38:15,005
- Hey, you know what? I
kind of like this new,

3482
01:38:15,005 --> 01:38:17,192
all- knowing, badass Tucker.

3483
01:38:17,192 --> 01:38:18,472
You're certainly a lot
better than the old one.

3484
01:38:18,472 --> 01:38:20,129
- No, Church, wait!

3485
01:38:20,129 --> 01:38:21,128
The other way.

3486
01:38:21,128 --> 01:38:22,472
- Knock, knock, Church.

3487
01:38:22,472 --> 01:38:23,848
- Son of a bitch!

3488
01:38:23,848 --> 01:38:26,787
- I meant the other other way.

3489
01:38:26,787 --> 01:38:27,790
My bad, dude.

3490
01:38:27,790 --> 01:38:28,888
- I take back what I said.

3491
01:38:28,888 --> 01:38:29,891
You still suck.

3492
01:38:29,891 --> 01:38:30,888
- OK, Tex, perfect.

3493
01:38:30,888 --> 01:38:31,891
Now listen.

3494
01:38:31,891 --> 01:38:32,907
- What the hell?

3495
01:38:32,907 --> 01:38:34,387
Why do you guys keep
giving away my position?

3496
01:38:34,387 --> 01:38:35,390
- It doesn't matter!

3497
01:38:35,390 --> 01:38:36,387
They know you're here anyway.

3498
01:38:36,387 --> 01:38:37,390
Duck!

3499
01:38:37,390 --> 01:38:38,387
- See?

3500
01:38:38,387 --> 01:38:39,390
- What is going on?

3501
01:38:39,390 --> 01:38:42,185
- Tex, this is almost going to
be impossible to explain, but

3502
01:38:42,185 --> 01:38:44,806
he knows exactly what's going
on, and we just need to trust

3503
01:38:44,806 --> 01:38:45,826
him.

3504
01:38:45,826 --> 01:38:46,830
- Trust him?

3505
01:38:46,830 --> 01:38:47,928
10 minutes ago, he shot me.

3506
01:38:47,928 --> 01:38:50,008
- Yeah, well that's, I
mean, you know, come on.

3507
01:38:50,008 --> 01:38:51,310
He's kind of a bitch.

3508
01:38:51,310 --> 01:38:52,360
But don't worry.

3509
01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:54,846
Now that we're together, I'm
sure he has an awesome plan.

3510
01:38:54,846 --> 01:38:55,867
Right, Tucker?

3511
01:38:55,867 --> 01:38:57,950
- Right. Now you guys stay
here and distract the Wyomings.

3512
01:38:57,950 --> 01:38:59,750
I'm gonna take care of that fucking tank.

3513
01:38:59,750 --> 01:39:00,750
- Distract?

3514
01:39:00,750 --> 01:39:01,752
How?

3515
01:39:01,752 --> 01:39:03,352
- Not getting killed is
a great way to start.

3516
01:39:03,352 --> 01:39:04,350
Watch your back!

3517
01:39:04,350 --> 01:39:05,183
- Jesus!

3518
01:39:07,470 --> 01:39:08,808
- Caboose, are you ready to help?

3519
01:39:08,808 --> 01:39:09,811
I need you to do something.

3520
01:39:09,811 --> 01:39:10,824
- Great.

3521
01:39:10,824 --> 01:39:12,371
- I need you to run out there
and get the tank to shoot at

3522
01:39:12,371 --> 01:39:14,030
you and draw it closer to the ship.

3523
01:39:14,030 --> 01:39:15,512
It's going to be really dangerous.

3524
01:39:15,512 --> 01:39:16,510
- OK.

3525
01:39:16,510 --> 01:39:18,291
- Caboose, that's why I always liked you.

3526
01:39:18,291 --> 01:39:19,928
Everything falls into two categories.

3527
01:39:19,928 --> 01:39:22,691
Either you don't understand
it, or you just don't care.

3528
01:39:22,691 --> 01:39:25,011
- Yeah, I don't really know
what you mean by that, but I

3529
01:39:25,011 --> 01:39:26,008
guess it doesn't matter.

3530
01:39:26,008 --> 01:39:27,029
- Exactly.

3531
01:39:27,029 --> 01:39:28,131
- Why didn't you have Tex or Church help?

3532
01:39:28,131 --> 01:39:30,926
Is it because I'm the best?

3533
01:39:30,926 --> 01:39:32,574
- No, it's because Church is an asshole,

3534
01:39:32,574 --> 01:39:33,731
and Tex doesn't trust me right now.

3535
01:39:33,731 --> 01:39:35,071
- Really? Why not?

3536
01:39:35,071 --> 01:39:37,075
- Eh, because I got to use a
sniper rifle, and I ended up

3537
01:39:37,075 --> 01:39:38,718
unloading a round into her ass.

3538
01:39:38,718 --> 01:39:39,838
- Hey chicka bum bum.

3539
01:39:39,838 --> 01:39:41,369
- Caboose, what did I tell you about that?

3540
01:39:41,369 --> 01:39:42,619
- Sorry, sorry.

3541
01:39:44,770 --> 01:39:48,136
- Hey, big, mean tank jerk.

3542
01:39:48,136 --> 01:39:51,294
Why don't you pick on
someone your own size?

3543
01:39:51,294 --> 01:39:53,461
Yeah, that's more like it.

3544
01:39:55,054 --> 01:39:56,472
Uh-oh.

3545
01:39:56,472 --> 01:39:59,576
Uh, OK, um, Tucker, um, um, here it comes.

3546
01:39:59,576 --> 01:40:00,409
Tucker?

3547
01:40:01,752 --> 01:40:02,771
Tucker?

3548
01:40:02,771 --> 01:40:04,014
Um, yeah.

3549
01:40:04,014 --> 01:40:05,571
I, I didn't really need anything.

3550
01:40:05,571 --> 01:40:06,574
I,

3551
01:40:06,574 --> 01:40:10,488
I, I just wanted to say, um, hi?

3552
01:40:10,488 --> 01:40:11,889
- Now, Sheila!

3553
01:40:11,889 --> 01:40:12,762
- Affirmative.

3554
01:40:12,762 --> 01:40:14,079
- What? No!

3555
01:40:15,464 --> 01:40:16,467
- Did you get him, Sheila?

3556
01:40:16,467 --> 01:40:17,464
- I have him.

3557
01:40:17,464 --> 01:40:20,264
He is currently isolated
behind a firewall.

3558
01:40:20,264 --> 01:40:21,806
He is attempting to get through, but it

3559
01:40:21,806 --> 01:40:23,384
will take some time.

3560
01:40:23,384 --> 01:40:25,142
He is not that smart.

3561
01:40:25,142 --> 01:40:26,147
- I heard that.

3562
01:40:26,147 --> 01:40:27,144
- Great.

3563
01:40:27,144 --> 01:40:28,744
Caboose, stay here. I'll be back in a bit.

3564
01:40:28,744 --> 01:40:29,742
- OK.

3565
01:40:29,742 --> 01:40:33,239
But I still don't know what's happening.

3566
01:40:33,239 --> 01:40:34,483
Good tank?

3567
01:40:34,483 --> 01:40:35,316
Nice tank?

3568
01:40:38,840 --> 01:40:40,238
- Man, that seems like a really big fight.

3569
01:40:40,238 --> 01:40:41,239
- Yeah.

3570
01:40:41,239 --> 01:40:42,984
Looks like they don't
stand much of a chance.

3571
01:40:42,984 --> 01:40:45,880
Ha, those Blues are finally
getting what they deserve.

3572
01:40:45,880 --> 01:40:48,062
I always knew this day would come.

3573
01:40:48,062 --> 01:40:50,200
- You mean, you knew that the
Blues would be killed by an

3574
01:40:50,200 --> 01:40:52,840
unknown group of clone enemies
while in control of our base,

3575
01:40:52,840 --> 01:40:54,920
and while we were in control of theirs?

3576
01:40:54,920 --> 01:40:55,982
Seriously?

3577
01:40:55,982 --> 01:40:57,318
You knew that was coming?

3578
01:40:57,318 --> 01:40:59,464
- Absolutely. It's so obvious.

3579
01:40:59,464 --> 01:41:00,504
Durr.

3580
01:41:00,504 --> 01:41:02,539
What a glorious day to be Red!

3581
01:41:02,539 --> 01:41:04,640
- And the best part of it all
is that the Blues are finally

3582
01:41:04,640 --> 01:41:07,198
going to be driven out of the
canyon, and we get to sit on

3583
01:41:07,198 --> 01:41:08,320
the sidelines.

3584
01:41:08,320 --> 01:41:10,363
Man, someone does all the
battling, and we just have to

3585
01:41:10,363 --> 01:41:12,317
kick back and let them
take the glory, while

3586
01:41:12,317 --> 01:41:13,723
we enjoy the benefits.

3587
01:41:13,723 --> 01:41:15,083
We don't have to do anything.

3588
01:41:15,083 --> 01:41:16,619
(grumbling)

3589
01:41:16,619 --> 01:41:20,965
- (sigh) You know, one of these
days, and I don't know when,

3590
01:41:20,965 --> 01:41:25,424
I'm going to learn to
shut my fucking mouth.

3591
01:41:25,424 --> 01:41:26,725
- OK, I'll take the ones on the right.

3592
01:41:26,725 --> 01:41:27,984
You take the ones on the left.

3593
01:41:27,984 --> 01:41:30,278
- There's twice as many on the left.

3594
01:41:30,278 --> 01:41:31,111
- I know. I can count.

3595
01:41:31,111 --> 01:41:32,238
- Just keep backing them up.

3596
01:41:32,238 --> 01:41:34,434
- Why? What are we waiting, wait a second.

3597
01:41:34,434 --> 01:41:36,277
What the hell is that music?

3598
01:41:36,277 --> 01:41:39,944
(tejano music grows louder)

3599
01:41:42,517 --> 01:41:43,350
(Wyomings shouting)

3600
01:41:43,350 --> 01:41:44,183
- Hyah!

3601
01:41:45,877 --> 01:41:48,016
Now that's what I call riding shotgun.

3602
01:41:48,016 --> 01:41:49,111
Blammo!

3603
01:41:49,111 --> 01:41:50,116
Ha ha.

3604
01:41:50,116 --> 01:41:52,551
- Excellent shot and
follow-up one-liner, sir.

3605
01:41:52,551 --> 01:41:53,550
- Thank you, Simmons.

3606
01:41:53,550 --> 01:41:54,670
(shout)

3607
01:41:54,670 --> 01:41:55,675
- Now get to blasting.

3608
01:41:55,675 --> 01:41:56,672
- On it, sir.

3609
01:41:56,672 --> 01:41:58,255
Yeah, suck it Blue!

3610
01:41:59,156 --> 01:42:00,475
And you too, white, you suck it, crackers!

3611
01:42:00,475 --> 01:42:01,488
- Crackers?

3612
01:42:01,488 --> 01:42:03,648
I thought you were Dutch-Irish.

3613
01:42:03,648 --> 01:42:04,652
- Fuck that shit.

3614
01:42:04,652 --> 01:42:05,648
Shut up and drive, bitch.

3615
01:42:05,648 --> 01:42:06,656
Yeah, get some!

3616
01:42:06,656 --> 01:42:07,877
Suck it, bitch!

3617
01:42:07,877 --> 01:42:08,917
Oh, you want some?

3618
01:42:08,917 --> 01:42:09,931
How about this?

3619
01:42:09,931 --> 01:42:10,932
You like that?

3620
01:42:10,932 --> 01:42:11,995
- I got plenty more here.

3621
01:42:11,995 --> 01:42:13,195
- Take that, you honky motherfuckers!

3622
01:42:13,195 --> 01:42:14,757
- Hey, Reds.

3623
01:42:14,757 --> 01:42:18,424
Why don't you pick on
someone your own size?

3624
01:42:19,637 --> 01:42:21,440
- Uh, is he going to be OK?

3625
01:42:21,440 --> 01:42:24,607
- I am Caboose, the vehicle destroyer!

3626
01:42:27,403 --> 01:42:28,400
- Yeah, probably.

3627
01:42:28,400 --> 01:42:29,483
- Hey, one of them's still alive.

3628
01:42:29,483 --> 01:42:32,421
(groaning)

3629
01:42:32,421 --> 01:42:33,678
- What's your plan, Wyoming?

3630
01:42:33,678 --> 01:42:36,160
Why are you here, and what
do you want with Junior?

3631
01:42:36,160 --> 01:42:37,360
- He already told me.

3632
01:42:37,360 --> 01:42:38,464
My kid is the last part of that big

3633
01:42:38,464 --> 01:42:39,680
prophecy we thought failed.

3634
01:42:39,680 --> 01:42:41,840
He's supposed to become some
big religious savior for their

3635
01:42:41,840 --> 01:42:43,584
whole race or some crap.

3636
01:42:43,584 --> 01:42:44,544
- What?

3637
01:42:44,544 --> 01:42:45,377
- Yeah.

3638
01:42:45,377 --> 01:42:46,768
So they want to make Junior
fulfill the prophecy and have

3639
01:42:46,768 --> 01:42:47,824
O'Malley infect him.

3640
01:42:47,824 --> 01:42:49,445
Then they can use him to
enslave all the aliens by

3641
01:42:49,445 --> 01:42:51,361
corrupting their religion from the inside.

3642
01:42:51,361 --> 01:42:53,547
- OK, that's disgusting.

3643
01:42:53,547 --> 01:42:57,419
- No, that's our job, to
win the war at any cost.

3644
01:42:57,419 --> 01:42:58,544
- Yeah, well good luck.

3645
01:42:58,544 --> 01:43:01,463
Now that we have you, all we
need to do is stop O'Malley,

3646
01:43:01,463 --> 01:43:03,845
and Tex will be more
than happy to do that.

3647
01:43:03,845 --> 01:43:05,728
- Oh, on the contrary, my friend.

3648
01:43:05,728 --> 01:43:09,782
Now that she knows our plan,
not only will she not stop us,

3649
01:43:09,782 --> 01:43:12,667
our dear Tex is going to help us.

3650
01:43:12,667 --> 01:43:13,664
- Oh yeah.

3651
01:43:13,664 --> 01:43:15,227
I'm sure she'd be happy to help O'Malley.

3652
01:43:15,227 --> 01:43:17,153
Isn't that right, Tex?

3653
01:43:17,153 --> 01:43:18,267
Tex?

3654
01:43:18,267 --> 01:43:19,348
- He's right.
(radio noise)

3655
01:43:19,348 --> 01:43:20,431
- This is Freelancer Tex,

3656
01:43:20,431 --> 01:43:22,224
broadcasting on an open channel.

3657
01:43:22,224 --> 01:43:23,227
- Tex!

3658
01:43:23,227 --> 01:43:24,240
What are you doing?

3659
01:43:24,240 --> 01:43:25,504
- You want me, O'Malley?

3660
01:43:25,504 --> 01:43:27,504
Come and get me.

3661
01:43:28,443 --> 01:43:30,027
- Hey, Caboose.

3662
01:43:30,027 --> 01:43:30,860
Caboose!

3663
01:43:33,029 --> 01:43:35,488
Come out so I can shoot
you, you fuckstick.

3664
01:43:35,488 --> 01:43:36,747
- Where did Caboose go?

3665
01:43:36,747 --> 01:43:37,749
- I don't see him.

3666
01:43:37,749 --> 01:43:38,747
Caboose!

3667
01:43:38,747 --> 01:43:39,749
- Come out, Caboose.

3668
01:43:39,749 --> 01:43:41,146
All we want to do is shoot you.

3669
01:43:41,146 --> 01:43:42,149
- Don't listen to them.

3670
01:43:42,149 --> 01:43:43,147
It's a trick.

3671
01:43:43,147 --> 01:43:44,891
- This is Freelancer Tex, broadcasting

3672
01:43:44,891 --> 01:43:46,011
on an open channel.

3673
01:43:46,011 --> 01:43:47,131
- This is Private Church, broadcasting

3674
01:43:47,131 --> 01:43:48,305
on an open channel.

3675
01:43:48,305 --> 01:43:49,846
- Why are the Blues on the radio?

3676
01:43:49,846 --> 01:43:50,844
- Who knows?

3677
01:43:50,844 --> 01:43:52,149
Hey, Blues, shut the fuck up.

3678
01:43:52,149 --> 01:43:54,205
Get off our radios and quit
running our batteries down.

3679
01:43:54,205 --> 01:43:55,968
(beeping)

3680
01:43:55,968 --> 01:43:58,902
- Do it now, or I will kill every last one

3681
01:43:58,902 --> 01:44:01,287
of you, and then everyone
else here as well,

3682
01:44:01,287 --> 01:44:02,709
just to prove a point.

3683
01:44:02,709 --> 01:44:05,328
(evil laugh)

3684
01:44:05,328 --> 01:44:06,331
- Whoa, Simmons, hey.

3685
01:44:06,331 --> 01:44:08,331
Don't you think that was
a little over the top?

3686
01:44:08,331 --> 01:44:09,728
- Suck it, you fool.

3687
01:44:09,728 --> 01:44:10,806
- And what's wrong with your voice?

3688
01:44:10,806 --> 01:44:11,805
- Nothing.

3689
01:44:11,805 --> 01:44:13,989
Why does something have
to be wrong with my voice?

3690
01:44:13,989 --> 01:44:16,651
Maybe something's wrong with your voice.

3691
01:44:16,651 --> 01:44:18,789
Ever think about that, cocksucker?

3692
01:44:18,789 --> 01:44:21,691
- Um, you do know that's Sarge
you're talking to, right?

3693
01:44:21,691 --> 01:44:23,488
- I mean, cocksucker, sir!

3694
01:44:23,488 --> 01:44:25,291
(evil chuckling)

3695
01:44:25,291 --> 01:44:26,651
- This is Private Church,

3696
01:44:26,651 --> 01:44:28,408
broadcasting on an open channel.

3697
01:44:28,408 --> 01:44:29,531
- What are you doing?

3698
01:44:29,531 --> 01:44:31,029
- I'm making you harder to find.

3699
01:44:31,029 --> 01:44:32,229
Tucker!

3700
01:44:32,229 --> 01:44:33,347
Turn on your radio.

3701
01:44:33,347 --> 01:44:34,347
- Fuck that.

3702
01:44:34,347 --> 01:44:35,728
If O'Malley gets me, he'll get the sword.

3703
01:44:35,728 --> 01:44:38,727
- Attention all Blues, turn
on your radio and start

3704
01:44:38,727 --> 01:44:40,651
broadcasting right now.

3705
01:44:40,651 --> 01:44:43,408
- OK, I'm on the radio too now.

3706
01:44:43,408 --> 01:44:44,667
This is fun.

3707
01:44:44,667 --> 01:44:46,465
What do you want to talk about?

3708
01:44:46,465 --> 01:44:48,091
- Well, he can't find you now, Tex.

3709
01:44:48,091 --> 01:44:49,408
- Don't get involved, Church.

3710
01:44:49,408 --> 01:44:51,771
Omega wants me, he can have me.

3711
01:44:51,771 --> 01:44:52,768
- Why?

3712
01:44:52,768 --> 01:44:55,404
So you can kidnap Tucker's kid
and enslave an entire race?

3713
01:44:55,404 --> 01:44:56,806
- Yeah, what's up with that, bitch?

3714
01:44:56,806 --> 01:44:58,587
- We have to win the war, Church.

3715
01:44:58,587 --> 01:44:59,611
- Well, what about after?

3716
01:44:59,611 --> 01:45:01,408
Do you think Omega is just
going to stop after he gets a

3717
01:45:01,408 --> 01:45:03,185
whole species for an army?

3718
01:45:03,185 --> 01:45:05,326
He's going to take over
everything, Tex, and you're

3719
01:45:05,326 --> 01:45:06,486
not going to be able to stop him.

3720
01:45:06,486 --> 01:45:07,771
- I guess we'll find out.

3721
01:45:07,771 --> 01:45:09,029
- Hey, uh, Church?

3722
01:45:09,029 --> 01:45:10,090
It's Doc.

3723
01:45:10,090 --> 01:45:13,189
Yeah, uh, you remember that
Blue leader guy down here?

3724
01:45:13,189 --> 01:45:14,549
Uh, he's just keeled over.

3725
01:45:14,549 --> 01:45:15,589
So I,

3726
01:45:15,589 --> 01:45:17,051
I think O'Malleys on his way.

3727
01:45:17,051 --> 01:45:18,364
Just FYI.

3728
01:45:18,364 --> 01:45:20,048
- Tex, shut off your radio.

3729
01:45:20,048 --> 01:45:21,909
- I would get away from me if I were you.

3730
01:45:21,909 --> 01:45:23,587
- Doc, any idea where he went?

3731
01:45:23,587 --> 01:45:24,848
- I have no idea.

3732
01:45:24,848 --> 01:45:26,971
And that alien buddy of his
took off with Junior, too.

3733
01:45:26,971 --> 01:45:29,232
Uh, if you want, I could look
for them on this computer down

3734
01:45:29,232 --> 01:45:30,248
here.

3735
01:45:30,248 --> 01:45:31,248
- Computer?

3736
01:45:31,248 --> 01:45:32,081
What?

3737
01:45:32,081 --> 01:45:32,914
- Yeah.

3738
01:45:32,914 --> 01:45:33,747
It's showing us the whole canyon.

3739
01:45:33,747 --> 01:45:34,949
What's with all the dead white guys?

3740
01:45:34,949 --> 01:45:35,963
- What computer?

3741
01:45:35,963 --> 01:45:37,108
Whatever.

3742
01:45:37,108 --> 01:45:39,211
Listen, just keep looking for
him and tell me if you find

3743
01:45:39,211 --> 01:45:40,208
him.

3744
01:45:40,208 --> 01:45:41,211
- OK.

3745
01:45:41,211 --> 01:45:43,451
- Hey, uh, shouldn't you
try to help this guy?

3746
01:45:43,451 --> 01:45:44,448
- What?

3747
01:45:44,448 --> 01:45:46,207
- Aren't you like the medic or something?

3748
01:45:46,207 --> 01:45:47,451
- Yeah, OK, whatever.

3749
01:45:47,451 --> 01:45:48,752
Shut up. You talk too much.

3750
01:45:48,752 --> 01:45:51,284
- Hey. You think I can use
this thing to check Myspace?

3751
01:45:51,284 --> 01:45:52,583
(guns cocking)

3752
01:45:52,583 --> 01:45:53,582
- Tex.

3753
01:45:53,582 --> 01:45:54,624
Is he in there?

3754
01:45:54,624 --> 01:45:55,627
- No.

3755
01:45:55,627 --> 01:45:56,624
Is he in you?

3756
01:45:56,624 --> 01:45:57,643
- Bullshit.

3757
01:45:57,643 --> 01:45:58,643
I think you're lying.

3758
01:45:58,643 --> 01:45:59,648
I think that-

3759
01:45:59,648 --> 01:46:00,645
- Nothing!

3760
01:46:00,645 --> 01:46:01,648
Why does something have
to be wrong with my voice?

3761
01:46:01,648 --> 01:46:02,965
Maybe something's wrong with your voice.

3762
01:46:02,965 --> 01:46:05,147
Did you ever think about that, cocksucker?

3763
01:46:05,147 --> 01:46:06,144
- Fuck!

3764
01:46:06,144 --> 01:46:07,561
Tucker, stop her.

3765
01:46:14,144 --> 01:46:15,707
- Hey, who the hell are
you calling a buffoon?

3766
01:46:15,707 --> 01:46:17,125
I am not a buffoon.

3767
01:46:17,125 --> 01:46:18,603
I don't even know what a buffoon is.

3768
01:46:18,603 --> 01:46:19,744
- Both of you, shut up.

3769
01:46:19,744 --> 01:46:20,747
- Seriously, what is it?

3770
01:46:20,747 --> 01:46:21,803
Some kind of monkey?

3771
01:46:21,803 --> 01:46:22,805
It's a monkey, isn't it?

3772
01:46:22,805 --> 01:46:24,107
- You fool.
- Hey, Reds.

3773
01:46:24,107 --> 01:46:25,504
- Freeze, you dirty Blue!

3774
01:46:25,504 --> 01:46:26,560
- No no no no.

3775
01:46:26,560 --> 01:46:27,563
Hey, I'm here to help.

3776
01:46:27,563 --> 01:46:29,461
Omega's on the loose, and I
think he's infected one of

3777
01:46:29,461 --> 01:46:30,464
your guys.

3778
01:46:30,464 --> 01:46:31,461
- Infected?

3779
01:46:31,461 --> 01:46:32,918
Initiate Emergency Plan Delta, men.

3780
01:46:32,918 --> 01:46:33,751
- Ow!

3781
01:46:34,661 --> 01:46:35,941
What the fuck?

3782
01:46:35,941 --> 01:46:36,956
- I didn't say who.

3783
01:46:36,956 --> 01:46:38,235
I think it's actually Simmons.

3784
01:46:38,235 --> 01:46:39,239
- That's OK.

3785
01:46:39,239 --> 01:46:40,944
That's how all our emergency plans begin.

3786
01:46:40,944 --> 01:46:44,123
- Simmons, get off that gun right now.

3787
01:46:44,123 --> 01:46:45,120
- No.

3788
01:46:45,120 --> 01:46:46,224
- What did you say to me?

3789
01:46:46,224 --> 01:46:48,624
- I said no, (evil laugh).

3790
01:46:48,624 --> 01:46:49,643
How do you like that?

3791
01:46:49,643 --> 01:46:51,117
No.

3792
01:46:51,117 --> 01:46:53,483
- Well, since you asked,
I don't like it at all.

3793
01:46:53,483 --> 01:46:55,883
- First, I'm going to kill you.

3794
01:46:55,883 --> 01:46:58,800
And then my plan to be leader
of the Reds will be complete.

3795
01:46:58,800 --> 01:47:02,800
After that, I'm going to kill
every being in the universe.

3796
01:47:02,800 --> 01:47:06,683
From now on, everyone will kiss my ass!

3797
01:47:06,683 --> 01:47:08,203
(laughing)

3798
01:47:08,203 --> 01:47:11,563
- Uh, yeah, it's definitely
Simmons that got infected.

3799
01:47:11,563 --> 01:47:12,763
- Well, no shit.

3800
01:47:12,763 --> 01:47:16,240
Donut, initiate Emergency Plan
Traitorous Simmons Number 11.

3801
01:47:16,240 --> 01:47:17,177
- On it, sir.

3802
01:47:17,177 --> 01:47:18,010
- Ow!

3803
01:47:19,600 --> 01:47:21,499
(gasping and coughing)

3804
01:47:21,499 --> 01:47:22,560
- Donut!

3805
01:47:22,560 --> 01:47:24,134
I said plan 11!

3806
01:47:24,134 --> 01:47:25,556
- Where am I going to get a steamroller?

3807
01:47:25,556 --> 01:47:27,760
- Simmons, do not fire that weapon.

3808
01:47:27,760 --> 01:47:28,779
That's an order.

3809
01:47:28,779 --> 01:47:30,156
- Too late, Sarge.

3810
01:47:30,156 --> 01:47:32,341
Simmons is getting a promotion.

3811
01:47:32,341 --> 01:47:34,197
Mwahaha, ow, the back of my lower leg!

3812
01:47:34,197 --> 01:47:36,197
Ow, the side of my head!

3813
01:47:37,499 --> 01:47:38,816
The back of my face!

3814
01:47:38,816 --> 01:47:39,995
The front of my front!

3815
01:47:39,995 --> 01:47:41,717
- Hey, Church, I think Tex is over here.

3816
01:47:41,717 --> 01:47:43,077
- Thanks for the update.

3817
01:47:43,077 --> 01:47:45,520
- Tex, I know now might not be
the best time, but I'd really

3818
01:47:45,520 --> 01:47:48,597
like you to consider coming
over to the Red team.

3819
01:47:48,597 --> 01:47:50,454
Technically, you know,
black is just a really

3820
01:47:50,454 --> 01:47:51,696
dark shade of red.

3821
01:47:51,696 --> 01:47:52,939
We'll talk later.

3822
01:47:52,939 --> 01:47:54,037
(radio noise)

3823
01:47:54,037 --> 01:47:57,704
- Church, are we still
talking on the radio?

3824
01:47:59,259 --> 01:48:01,477
'cause I'd love to talk on the radio.

3825
01:48:01,477 --> 01:48:02,581
What?

3826
01:48:02,581 --> 01:48:03,899
What am I doing in this idiot?

3827
01:48:03,899 --> 01:48:05,566
Hee- guh- gah- gerk.

3828
01:48:06,539 --> 01:48:09,237
- (sigh) Crap.

3829
01:48:09,237 --> 01:48:11,417
Sarge, I need you to do me a favor.

3830
01:48:11,417 --> 01:48:15,184
If I'm not out of there in 10
minutes, I'm going to need you

3831
01:48:15,184 --> 01:48:16,338
to disable that ship.

3832
01:48:16,338 --> 01:48:18,261
'Cause if Tex gets out of here
with O'Malley and that kid,

3833
01:48:18,261 --> 01:48:19,902
there's no one that's going to be able

3834
01:48:19,902 --> 01:48:21,200
to stop her.

3835
01:48:21,200 --> 01:48:22,784
- What the hell was he talking about?

3836
01:48:22,784 --> 01:48:23,781
- Oh.

3837
01:48:23,781 --> 01:48:25,617
Tex and Omega have some kind
of stupid plan to enslave the

3838
01:48:25,617 --> 01:48:26,939
whole alien race.

3839
01:48:26,939 --> 01:48:29,040
But Church thinks if she does,
she's gonna become the queen

3840
01:48:29,040 --> 01:48:30,501
of the universe or some shit.

3841
01:48:30,501 --> 01:48:32,880
- (gasp) Queen of the universe?

3842
01:48:32,880 --> 01:48:36,963
No one even told me we
were having a competition.

3843
01:48:41,643 --> 01:48:43,259
(popping sound)

3844
01:48:43,259 --> 01:48:44,092
- Oh crap.

3845
01:48:45,899 --> 01:48:47,439
- What in Sam Hill just happened here?

3846
01:48:47,439 --> 01:48:48,501
- I'll tell you what happened.

3847
01:48:48,501 --> 01:48:50,101
My own fucking teammate, ow!

3848
01:48:50,101 --> 01:48:51,499
- Nice to have you back, Simmons.

3849
01:48:51,499 --> 01:48:52,501
- Thank you, sir.

3850
01:48:52,501 --> 01:48:53,621
Good to be back.

3851
01:48:53,621 --> 01:48:54,619
Cocksucker.

3852
01:48:54,619 --> 01:48:55,621
- All right, then.

3853
01:48:55,621 --> 01:48:56,636
Let's go blow up that ship.

3854
01:48:56,636 --> 01:48:58,101
- Hey, Church said to
wait until he gets out.

3855
01:48:58,101 --> 01:48:59,639
- Well, that's a nice idea, son.

3856
01:48:59,639 --> 01:49:02,101
But blowing up stuff ain't a democracy.

3857
01:49:02,101 --> 01:49:04,099
Simmons, where can we get some explosives?

3858
01:49:04,099 --> 01:49:06,923
- Well, if you'll recall, we
recently saw Andy the bomb and

3859
01:49:06,923 --> 01:49:08,239
Lopez in one of the caves.

3860
01:49:08,239 --> 01:49:09,243
So-

3861
01:49:09,243 --> 01:49:10,624
- Of course. Come on, men.

3862
01:49:10,624 --> 01:49:12,021
Let's go ask Lopez if he
knows where we can find some

3863
01:49:12,021 --> 01:49:13,243
explosives.

3864
01:49:13,243 --> 01:49:17,054
- (sigh) Excellent plan, sir.

3865
01:49:17,054 --> 01:49:19,579
- Man, this place has really gone to hell.

3866
01:49:19,579 --> 01:49:21,772
I guess maintenance isn't a priority.

3867
01:49:21,772 --> 01:49:23,200
Caboose!

3868
01:49:23,200 --> 01:49:24,496
Tex!

3869
01:49:24,496 --> 01:49:26,320
Anyone in here?

3870
01:49:26,320 --> 01:49:27,317
(metallic noise)

3871
01:49:27,317 --> 01:49:28,320
Who's that?

3872
01:49:28,320 --> 01:49:29,987
Caboose? Tex? Omega?

3873
01:49:30,833 --> 01:49:31,666
- Freeze!

3874
01:49:31,666 --> 01:49:32,795
Look, I captured someone.

3875
01:49:32,795 --> 01:49:33,811
I am the best.

3876
01:49:33,811 --> 01:49:36,432
I mean, I'm the best
one that isn't Caboose.

3877
01:49:36,432 --> 01:49:38,411
- Great job, Simon.

3878
01:49:38,411 --> 01:49:41,051
- Thanks, orangest guy, whose
name I really don't remember.

3879
01:49:41,051 --> 01:49:43,127
- Let's all go shopping to celebrate.

3880
01:49:43,127 --> 01:49:45,051
- Arr, let's be making him walk the plank.

3881
01:49:45,051 --> 01:49:46,069
- Oh.

3882
01:49:46,069 --> 01:49:47,406
Hey, Reds.

3883
01:49:47,406 --> 01:49:49,632
Hey, have you guys seen Omega or Tex?

3884
01:49:49,632 --> 01:49:51,152
- Stop asking questions, you.

3885
01:49:51,152 --> 01:49:52,949
We don't like questions in here.

3886
01:49:52,949 --> 01:49:55,648
Thinking of answers makes
people's heads hurt.

3887
01:49:55,648 --> 01:49:57,632
- Hey, guys, what's up?

3888
01:49:57,632 --> 01:49:58,629
- Tucker?

3889
01:49:58,629 --> 01:50:00,032
How did you get in here?

3890
01:50:00,032 --> 01:50:01,109
- I'm in here all the time.

3891
01:50:01,109 --> 01:50:02,523
I have this sword now.

3892
01:50:02,523 --> 01:50:04,149
You might think it's cool, but it isn't.

3893
01:50:04,149 --> 01:50:06,406
Nobody wants to play with it
because it's dumb, and even

3894
01:50:06,406 --> 01:50:08,411
though I don't let people play
with it, no one cares anyway.

3895
01:50:08,411 --> 01:50:09,691
Because it's dumb.

3896
01:50:09,691 --> 01:50:10,688
- Oh.

3897
01:50:10,688 --> 01:50:11,712
Right.

3898
01:50:11,712 --> 01:50:12,708
Tucker.

3899
01:50:12,708 --> 01:50:14,832
- Also, I'm stupid and
ugly, and my butt stinks.

3900
01:50:14,832 --> 01:50:15,931
Like a butt.

3901
01:50:15,931 --> 01:50:17,004
- All right, OK, OK.

3902
01:50:17,004 --> 01:50:18,011
Guys, listen.

3903
01:50:18,011 --> 01:50:21,094
I need you to take me to Mr. Caboose.

3904
01:50:22,047 --> 01:50:23,051
Can you do that?

3905
01:50:23,051 --> 01:50:24,512
- (gasp) Why would we do that?

3906
01:50:24,512 --> 01:50:25,631
- Oh.

3907
01:50:25,631 --> 01:50:28,497
Uh, because I am, ugh.

3908
01:50:30,037 --> 01:50:32,917
Because I'm his best friend.

3909
01:50:32,917 --> 01:50:34,834
- Oh. Nice to meet you.

3910
01:50:38,501 --> 01:50:40,099
- Jolly good day, Mr. Caboose.

3911
01:50:40,099 --> 01:50:41,899
We be having a prisoner for you, we do.

3912
01:50:41,899 --> 01:50:43,483
- I thought you had a pirate accent.

3913
01:50:43,483 --> 01:50:45,781
- Arr, I'm not very consistent.

3914
01:50:45,781 --> 01:50:46,779
Yarr.

3915
01:50:46,779 --> 01:50:47,883
- Caboose, hey.

3916
01:50:47,883 --> 01:50:48,996
It's me, Church.

3917
01:50:48,996 --> 01:50:51,227
- Yes. Hello, Church.

3918
01:50:51,227 --> 01:50:52,827
You must be very happy to see me.

3919
01:50:52,827 --> 01:50:54,347
- Yeah, right, of course.

3920
01:50:54,347 --> 01:50:56,825
I'm so happy, I want to fucking puke.

3921
01:50:56,825 --> 01:50:57,723
- Hey, what's up.

3922
01:50:57,723 --> 01:50:58,848
- Hey, who the fuck are you?

3923
01:50:58,848 --> 01:50:59,845
Sister?

3924
01:50:59,845 --> 01:51:01,291
- Yup, I'm Sister.

3925
01:51:01,291 --> 01:51:03,307
Church's twin brother.

3926
01:51:03,307 --> 01:51:07,669
I came here in a spaceship
that came from the moon.

3927
01:51:07,669 --> 01:51:11,643
It crashed next to Blue base,
and now I live with Caboose,

3928
01:51:11,643 --> 01:51:15,467
and the people from the tail
section of the spaceship live

3929
01:51:15,467 --> 01:51:17,707
on the other side of the island.

3930
01:51:17,707 --> 01:51:20,090
- What the fuck? That's like
wrong in eight different ways.

3931
01:51:20,090 --> 01:51:23,611
- Yeah, I know. Tell me about it.

3932
01:51:23,611 --> 01:51:26,748
- Caboose, do you ever listen
to anything that we tell you?

3933
01:51:26,748 --> 01:51:28,432
- New Church is my best friend.

3934
01:51:28,432 --> 01:51:31,489
- I would argue with that,
too, but what's the point?

3935
01:51:31,489 --> 01:51:33,152
- Did I mention that I had a
baby, but I won't tell anyone

3936
01:51:33,152 --> 01:51:34,693
how babies are made?

3937
01:51:34,693 --> 01:51:37,333
Not that it matters, because
everyone knows how anyway.

3938
01:51:37,333 --> 01:51:38,869
Stupid babies.

3939
01:51:38,869 --> 01:51:40,167
- OK, enough.

3940
01:51:40,167 --> 01:51:43,173
Has anybody seen Tex or Omega?

3941
01:51:43,173 --> 01:51:44,786
I'm in kind of a rush.

3942
01:51:44,786 --> 01:51:45,926
- I haven't.

3943
01:51:45,926 --> 01:51:47,291
But you know who might know?

3944
01:51:47,291 --> 01:51:50,203
Those two new people that we
saw fighting over by the ramps.

3945
01:51:50,203 --> 01:51:51,227
We could ask them.

3946
01:51:52,219 --> 01:51:53,328
- OK.

3947
01:51:53,328 --> 01:51:54,745
Let's go do that.

3948
01:51:59,627 --> 01:52:00,827
Oh shit.

3949
01:52:00,827 --> 01:52:02,287
They're not fighting. That's bad for me.

3950
01:52:02,287 --> 01:52:03,290
All right, Tucker, quick.

3951
01:52:03,290 --> 01:52:05,528
I need you to jump out there
and kill them with your sword.

3952
01:52:05,528 --> 01:52:08,410
If they die in here, they get
forced out of Caboose's head.

3953
01:52:08,410 --> 01:52:10,069
- No way! That sounds scary!

3954
01:52:10,069 --> 01:52:11,083
You do it.

3955
01:52:11,083 --> 01:52:13,029
I'm going to get back to
my busy day smelling butts.

3956
01:52:13,029 --> 01:52:14,027
- Dude, I can't!

3957
01:52:14,027 --> 01:52:16,912
Your sword only works
for y, wait a minute.

3958
01:52:16,912 --> 01:52:19,531
There's no possible way
he understands that.

3959
01:52:19,531 --> 01:52:21,371
Fuck it. Give me the sword, dude.

3960
01:52:21,371 --> 01:52:22,891
- OK, Andy.

3961
01:52:22,891 --> 01:52:25,371
We're going to need you to
get in that ship and explode.

3962
01:52:25,371 --> 01:52:26,992
You think you can take
out the whole thing?

3963
01:52:26,992 --> 01:52:27,989
- You bet!

3964
01:52:27,989 --> 01:52:29,712
Just say the word, and I'll detonate.

3965
01:52:29,712 --> 01:52:31,712
Man, this is gonna be great!

3966
01:52:31,712 --> 01:52:32,962
- Hello, Lopez.

3967
01:52:36,027 --> 01:52:37,029
- Yes.

3968
01:52:37,029 --> 01:52:38,571
It is good to see you again.

3969
01:52:38,571 --> 01:52:40,048
- Oh, Lopez.

3970
01:52:40,048 --> 01:52:42,448
Looks like your girlfriend's
put on a little weight.

3971
01:52:42,448 --> 01:52:44,048
- Andy, that's rude.

3972
01:52:44,048 --> 01:52:45,062
- What?

3973
01:52:45,062 --> 01:52:46,067
You were all thinking it.

3974
01:52:46,067 --> 01:52:48,069
I mean, I'm just saying.

3975
01:52:48,069 --> 01:52:49,508
Someone should seriously consider

3976
01:52:49,508 --> 01:52:51,341
switching to unleaded.

3977
01:52:52,723 --> 01:52:54,629
- But I have your word that
none of them will be hurt.

3978
01:52:54,629 --> 01:52:55,765
(evil laugh)

3979
01:52:55,765 --> 01:52:56,768
- Tex, get away from him!

3980
01:52:56,768 --> 01:52:57,765
Stab!

3981
01:52:57,765 --> 01:52:59,206
Boo-yah!

3982
01:52:59,206 --> 01:53:00,956
- No! Dammit, Church!

3983
01:53:03,468 --> 01:53:05,668
- Awesome. I'm like a fucking Jedi.

3984
01:53:05,668 --> 01:53:07,028
Oh, fuck. They're both dead.

3985
01:53:07,028 --> 01:53:08,204
Quick. Somebody kill me.

3986
01:53:08,204 --> 01:53:09,252
Quick. Hurry, please.

3987
01:53:09,252 --> 01:53:11,114
Somebody, anybody, please,
just fucking kill me!

3988
01:53:11,114 --> 01:53:12,128
- Why?

3989
01:53:12,128 --> 01:53:13,231
- Because I need to get out of here.

3990
01:53:13,231 --> 01:53:14,245
Come on, please.

3991
01:53:14,245 --> 01:53:15,311
Hurry, quick, just kill me, please.

3992
01:53:15,311 --> 01:53:16,474
Hurry. It'll be fun.

3993
01:53:16,474 --> 01:53:17,307
I'm a dick.

3994
01:53:17,307 --> 01:53:18,273
- None of our guns work.

3995
01:53:18,273 --> 01:53:19,876
We just have them for show.

3996
01:53:19,876 --> 01:53:21,151
- Mine is just a purse.

3997
01:53:21,151 --> 01:53:22,532
- Ah, you know, never mind.

3998
01:53:22,532 --> 01:53:23,365
(grunt)

3999
01:53:23,365 --> 01:53:24,250
- Hey, can I ask you one quick q-

4000
01:53:24,250 --> 01:53:25,669
(popping sound)

4001
01:53:25,669 --> 01:53:26,670
- Caboose, what happened?

4002
01:53:26,670 --> 01:53:28,810
- Tex appeared out of nowhere
and beat up Tucker, which was

4003
01:53:28,810 --> 01:53:30,368
awesome, and took his sword.

4004
01:53:30,368 --> 01:53:33,708
Also, someone may have been
surprised by that and peed his

4005
01:53:33,708 --> 01:53:35,230
pants just a little bit.

4006
01:53:35,230 --> 01:53:36,612
Or a lot.

4007
01:53:36,612 --> 01:53:37,711
- I was only behind him like 30 seconds.

4008
01:53:37,711 --> 01:53:38,954
What the fuck? Where is she?

4009
01:53:38,954 --> 01:53:41,674
- She took the sword and a
Wyoming helmet to the ship.

4010
01:53:41,674 --> 01:53:44,448
I think she went to the
ship to save Tucker's kid.

4011
01:53:44,448 --> 01:53:46,554
He's on the ship too now.

4012
01:53:46,554 --> 01:53:47,935
- Fuck! What about O'Malley?

4013
01:53:47,935 --> 01:53:48,932
Where's he?

4014
01:53:48,932 --> 01:53:49,765
(radio noise)

4015
01:53:49,765 --> 01:53:50,598
- (laughing)

4016
01:53:50,598 --> 01:53:52,852
That's the problem with living
in a patriarchal society.

4017
01:53:52,852 --> 01:53:55,354
Men just automatically
assume they know everything

4018
01:53:55,354 --> 01:53:56,692
(laughing)

4019
01:53:56,692 --> 01:53:57,695
- Never mind.

4020
01:53:57,695 --> 01:53:58,991
(popping sound)

4021
01:53:58,991 --> 01:54:00,011
- Huh?

4022
01:54:00,011 --> 01:54:01,011
What is this place?

4023
01:54:01,011 --> 01:54:03,135
Hey, buddy, are you OK?

4024
01:54:03,135 --> 01:54:04,132
(electrical noise)

4025
01:54:04,132 --> 01:54:05,799
- What's that noise?

4026
01:54:08,671 --> 01:54:09,674
Well, fuck.

4027
01:54:09,674 --> 01:54:11,729
- Hello, fellows.

4028
01:54:11,729 --> 01:54:13,130
How's everything going out here?

4029
01:54:13,130 --> 01:54:14,149
- Not good.

4030
01:54:14,149 --> 01:54:15,674
Hey, you don't sound evil anymore.

4031
01:54:15,674 --> 01:54:17,434
- Thanks for noticing, private.

4032
01:54:17,434 --> 01:54:19,770
Yeah, being possessed
by an evil force can be

4033
01:54:19,770 --> 01:54:21,130
difficult at times.

4034
01:54:21,130 --> 01:54:24,646
But with a little hard work
and positive thinking, you can

4035
01:54:24,646 --> 01:54:26,292
overcome anything.

4036
01:54:26,292 --> 01:54:29,151
- I think you mean hard work,
positive thinking, and no

4037
01:54:29,151 --> 01:54:31,354
longer being useful as a
pawn in their evil plan.

4038
01:54:31,354 --> 01:54:32,968
- Yeah, that too.

4039
01:54:32,968 --> 01:54:35,189
So who are we fighting today?

4040
01:54:35,189 --> 01:54:36,330
- Oh, you know, the usual.

4041
01:54:36,330 --> 01:54:37,674
Tex, Red team.

4042
01:54:37,674 --> 01:54:38,671
- Red team.

4043
01:54:38,671 --> 01:54:39,994
Those old rascals.

4044
01:54:39,994 --> 01:54:41,729
Some things never change.

4045
01:54:41,729 --> 01:54:43,594
They still wearing red armor these days?

4046
01:54:43,594 --> 01:54:44,511
- Um, yeah.

4047
01:54:45,689 --> 01:54:47,332
- Oh, Red team.

4048
01:54:47,332 --> 01:54:48,330
- Hey, I could use some help.

4049
01:54:48,330 --> 01:54:49,332
- You bet.

4050
01:54:49,332 --> 01:54:51,752
And I have some information
about the Reds that will

4051
01:54:51,752 --> 01:54:53,754
guarantee our victory.

4052
01:54:53,754 --> 01:54:54,768
- You do?

4053
01:54:54,768 --> 01:54:55,928
- I certainly do.

4054
01:54:55,928 --> 01:54:56,932
Would you like to hear it?

4055
01:54:56,932 --> 01:54:58,010
- Yeah, I wanna hear it.

4056
01:54:58,010 --> 01:54:59,012
- Great.

4057
01:54:59,012 --> 01:55:01,929
Because I'm just about to tell you.

4058
01:55:05,535 --> 01:55:07,594
- OK, why aren't you telling me?

4059
01:55:07,594 --> 01:55:09,092
- Good question.

4060
01:55:09,092 --> 01:55:12,570
I seem to be dramatically
pausing for some,

4061
01:55:12,570 --> 01:55:13,570
ker bleaahh.

4062
01:55:15,972 --> 01:55:16,970
- Well, good riddance.

4063
01:55:16,970 --> 01:55:20,303
I wasn't giving this armor back, anyway.

4064
01:55:21,391 --> 01:55:22,692
- Whoa, easy, Donut.

4065
01:55:22,692 --> 01:55:24,932
You've been infected by a
computer virus, and we just

4066
01:55:24,932 --> 01:55:27,855
need to figure out what to do about it.

4067
01:55:27,855 --> 01:55:30,292
- (goofy evil laugh) No!

4068
01:55:30,292 --> 01:55:32,772
It's my body, it's my choice.

4069
01:55:32,772 --> 01:55:35,210
And another thing, why do I do
as much work as you guys, but

4070
01:55:35,210 --> 01:55:36,874
I only make 92%-

4071
01:55:36,874 --> 01:55:39,513
- Hey, don't hit my soldiers
without my permission.

4072
01:55:39,513 --> 01:55:41,445
I'm the one who gets to hit my soldiers.

4073
01:55:41,445 --> 01:55:43,530
(evil laugh)

4074
01:55:43,530 --> 01:55:45,265
Yeah, eat lead, world.

4075
01:55:45,265 --> 01:55:46,868
Drop and give me infinity.

4076
01:55:46,868 --> 01:55:49,631
- Sarge, you've finally gone crazy.

4077
01:55:49,631 --> 01:55:51,972
Whoa, that's weird.

4078
01:55:51,972 --> 01:55:54,612
I have a sudden urge to
conquer the universe.

4079
01:55:54,612 --> 01:55:57,090
Which is odd for me because, well, that

4080
01:55:57,090 --> 01:55:58,532
would take actual work.

4081
01:55:58,532 --> 01:56:00,708
I think I'll just fall asleep instead.

4082
01:56:00,708 --> 01:56:02,132
- We're here.

4083
01:56:02,132 --> 01:56:03,172
Is anyone hurt?

4084
01:56:03,172 --> 01:56:04,248
Does anyone need to be killed?

4085
01:56:04,248 --> 01:56:06,431
(evil laugh)

4086
01:56:06,431 --> 01:56:07,445
- I know that laugh.

4087
01:56:07,445 --> 01:56:08,450
Nobody move.

4088
01:56:08,450 --> 01:56:12,886
You know what, I don't really
feel all that different.

4089
01:56:12,886 --> 01:56:15,886
(semi-evil chuckle)

4090
01:56:17,871 --> 01:56:18,927
Nah, feels pretty much the same.

4091
01:56:18,927 --> 01:56:20,287
That's, that's kinda weird.

4092
01:56:20,287 --> 01:56:21,745
I maybe expected more?

4093
01:56:21,745 --> 01:56:23,585
(radio noise)

4094
01:56:23,585 --> 01:56:24,590
- Where'd he go?

4095
01:56:24,590 --> 01:56:25,423
Where'd he go?

4096
01:56:25,423 --> 01:56:26,256
Is he gone?

4097
01:56:26,256 --> 01:56:27,089
(beeping)

4098
01:56:27,089 --> 01:56:27,922
- Tex?

4099
01:56:27,922 --> 01:56:28,755
- Church, run.

4100
01:56:28,755 --> 01:56:29,727
- Tex, don't!

4101
01:56:29,727 --> 01:56:34,164
- You have no idea what
kind of trouble you are in.

4102
01:56:34,164 --> 01:56:36,342
- Wait, Tex, you don't want to do this.

4103
01:56:36,342 --> 01:56:38,640
- Sheila, are you ready?

4104
01:56:38,640 --> 01:56:40,367
- All systems online.

4105
01:56:40,367 --> 01:56:42,463
Ignition coil activated.

4106
01:56:42,463 --> 01:56:43,903
Starting thrusters.

4107
01:56:43,903 --> 01:56:45,626
- Launch when ready.

4108
01:56:45,626 --> 01:56:47,302
- Please take your seats.

4109
01:56:47,302 --> 01:56:49,719
Launching in three, two, one.

4110
01:56:50,960 --> 01:56:53,444
- Tex, don't do this.

4111
01:56:53,444 --> 01:56:54,460
- Liftoff.

4112
01:56:54,460 --> 01:56:55,887
- Goodbye.

4113
01:56:55,887 --> 01:56:57,444
- We have to stop her right now.

4114
01:56:57,444 --> 01:56:58,685
- No problemo, Blue.

4115
01:56:58,685 --> 01:56:59,924
(radio noise)

4116
01:56:59,924 --> 01:57:00,941
- Andy, you there?

4117
01:57:00,941 --> 01:57:01,946
- I'm here, Coach.

4118
01:57:01,946 --> 01:57:02,943
- What's going on?

4119
01:57:02,943 --> 01:57:04,780
- Tex is hooking up Wyoming's
helmet to the computer.

4120
01:57:04,780 --> 01:57:06,244
- Ready for your job, soldier?

4121
01:57:06,244 --> 01:57:07,247
- You bet!

4122
01:57:07,247 --> 01:57:08,287
- All right then, son.

4123
01:57:08,287 --> 01:57:09,764
Do what you were born to do.

4124
01:57:09,764 --> 01:57:11,284
Detonate.

4125
01:57:11,284 --> 01:57:13,924
- Hey, you want me to
start from 10 or three?

4126
01:57:13,924 --> 01:57:15,204
Come on, let's build it up a little bit.

4127
01:57:15,204 --> 01:57:16,420
Suspense, it'll kill them.

4128
01:57:16,420 --> 01:57:19,962
- I told you to disable
the ship, not destroy it!

4129
01:57:19,962 --> 01:57:22,442
- Oh, well, score one for
the Red team, I guess.

4130
01:57:22,442 --> 01:57:23,275
- What about my kid?

4131
01:57:23,275 --> 01:57:24,108
- Six.

4132
01:57:24,108 --> 01:57:24,941
- Oh, right.

4133
01:57:24,941 --> 01:57:25,774
Score two.

4134
01:57:25,774 --> 01:57:26,607
- Four.

4135
01:57:26,607 --> 01:57:27,440
- Andy, do not-

4136
01:57:27,440 --> 01:57:28,273
- Three.

4137
01:57:28,273 --> 01:57:29,106
- Detonate.

4138
01:57:29,106 --> 01:57:29,939
Can you see her heading?

4139
01:57:29,939 --> 01:57:30,898
- Two.

4140
01:57:30,898 --> 01:57:31,898
- Do you know where she's going?

4141
01:57:31,898 --> 01:57:32,900
- One.

4142
01:57:32,900 --> 01:57:33,733
- Tex?

4143
01:57:36,975 --> 01:57:38,716
- Boo, no explosion.

4144
01:57:38,716 --> 01:57:39,716
That sucked.

4145
01:57:42,956 --> 01:57:44,578
- Ha ha, blammo!

4146
01:57:44,578 --> 01:57:47,196
- Wow, that explosion was awesome.

4147
01:57:47,196 --> 01:57:48,291
- What explosion? I didn't see it.

4148
01:57:48,291 --> 01:57:49,516
Do it again.

4149
01:57:49,516 --> 01:57:51,356
- Uh, Church, what should we do?

4150
01:57:51,356 --> 01:57:52,258
- Do whatever you want.

4151
01:57:52,258 --> 01:57:53,980
I'm going home.

4152
01:57:53,980 --> 01:57:55,458
- Yeah, fuck this.

4153
01:57:55,458 --> 01:57:57,879
- Sarge, are we fighting?

4154
01:57:57,879 --> 01:58:00,236
- No, Simmons, I think they've
had their ass kicked enough

4155
01:58:00,236 --> 01:58:01,696
for one day.

4156
01:58:01,696 --> 01:58:04,196
Let's leave some for tomorrow.

4157
01:58:05,456 --> 01:58:09,275
♪ Roses are red and violets are blue ♪

4158
01:58:09,275 --> 01:58:13,879
♪ One day, we'll cruise
down Blood Gulch Avenue ♪

4159
01:58:13,879 --> 01:58:18,519
♪ It's Red versus Red
and Blue versus Blue ♪

4160
01:58:18,519 --> 01:58:23,019
♪ It's I against I and me against you ♪

4161
01:58:24,272 --> 01:58:25,105
- Church?

4162
01:58:25,105 --> 01:58:25,938
- Yeah?

4163
01:58:25,938 --> 01:58:28,204
- You ever wonder why we're here?

4164
01:58:28,204 --> 01:58:30,684
- You know, Caboose, I used to not care.

4165
01:58:30,684 --> 01:58:32,423
I just went along with orders
and hoped that everything

4166
01:58:32,423 --> 01:58:33,555
would work out for me.

4167
01:58:33,555 --> 01:58:35,740
But after all that's happened,
you know what I've learned?

4168
01:58:35,740 --> 01:58:37,816
It's not about hating the
guy on the other side because

4169
01:58:37,816 --> 01:58:39,260
someone told you to.

4170
01:58:39,260 --> 01:58:41,339
I mean, you should hate
someone because they're an

4171
01:58:41,339 --> 01:58:45,479
asshole or a pervert or snob,
or they're lazy or arrogant or

4172
01:58:45,479 --> 01:58:46,922
an idiot or a know-it-all.

4173
01:58:46,922 --> 01:58:48,983
Those are reasons to dislike somebody.

4174
01:58:48,983 --> 01:58:51,543
You don't hate a person
because someone told you to.

4175
01:58:51,543 --> 01:58:54,245
You have to learn to despise
people on a personal level,

4176
01:58:54,245 --> 01:58:56,807
not because they're Red
or because they're Blue,

4177
01:58:56,807 --> 01:58:58,420
but because you know them,

4178
01:58:58,420 --> 01:59:00,204
and you see them every single day,

4179
01:59:00,204 --> 01:59:03,383
and you can't stand them
because they're a complete

4180
01:59:03,383 --> 01:59:05,716
and total fucking douchebag.

4181
01:59:09,597 --> 01:59:13,148
- I meant why are we up here
in the sun, when we could be

4182
01:59:13,148 --> 01:59:16,066
standing down there in the shade.

4183
01:59:16,066 --> 01:59:17,527
- Oh.

4184
01:59:17,527 --> 01:59:18,588
Yeah, OK.

4185
01:59:18,588 --> 01:59:20,921
Let's go stand in the shade.

4186
01:59:22,946 --> 01:59:23,948
- What are they doing?

4187
01:59:23,948 --> 01:59:24,963
- What?

4188
01:59:24,963 --> 01:59:26,083
- I said, what are they doing now?

4189
01:59:26,083 --> 01:59:27,784
- I don't know, man, talking.

4190
01:59:27,784 --> 01:59:29,164
That's all these guys ever do.

4191
01:59:29,164 --> 01:59:30,508
They just stand around and talk.

4192
01:59:30,508 --> 01:59:33,525
- What are they talking about?

4193
01:59:33,525 --> 01:59:35,122
- You know what? I hate you.

4194
01:59:35,122 --> 01:59:37,980
- Yeah. I hate you too, buddy.

4195
01:59:37,980 --> 01:59:39,381
- Hey, ladies, get down here.

4196
01:59:39,381 --> 01:59:42,002
I built a new vehicle from
some old Warthog parts we had

4197
01:59:42,002 --> 01:59:43,004
laying around.

4198
01:59:43,004 --> 01:59:44,081
- It's an ATV!

4199
01:59:44,081 --> 01:59:45,839
It's awesome.

4200
01:59:45,839 --> 01:59:47,340
- Front and center on the double.

4201
01:59:47,340 --> 01:59:48,903
We need help naming this thing.

4202
01:59:48,903 --> 01:59:51,143
And nothing stupid this time.

4203
01:59:51,143 --> 01:59:52,380
- I get to name this one.

4204
01:59:52,380 --> 01:59:53,383
- Why?

4205
01:59:53,383 --> 01:59:54,423
- Because you named the last one.

4206
01:59:54,423 --> 01:59:55,498
- Hey, Simmons?

4207
01:59:55,498 --> 01:59:56,503
Just one thing.

4208
01:59:56,503 --> 01:59:57,500
- What?

4209
01:59:57,500 --> 01:59:58,503
- Shotgun.

4210
01:59:58,503 --> 02:00:00,033
- Fuck.

4211
02:00:00,033 --> 02:00:03,740
♪ Violets are blue, roses are red ♪

4212
02:00:03,740 --> 02:00:08,490
♪ Living like this, we were already dead ♪

4213
02:00:17,055 --> 02:00:22,055
♪ Hop in my car, it don't have any doors ♪

4214
02:00:25,463 --> 02:00:30,463
♪ It's built like a cat,
it lands on all fours ♪

4215
02:00:34,940 --> 02:00:39,940
♪ My car's like a puma,
it drives on all fours ♪

4216
02:00:43,884 --> 02:00:46,467
(upbeat music)

4217
02:01:01,795 --> 02:01:06,795
♪ Cyan is the sparkle in the sky ♪

4218
02:01:08,524 --> 02:01:13,524
♪ Yellow sun reflected in your eye ♪

4219
02:01:15,682 --> 02:01:20,682
♪ Red flows through the
passion in your art ♪

4220
02:01:22,780 --> 02:01:27,780
♪ Cobalt blue, the wisdom in your heart ♪

4221
02:01:29,399 --> 02:01:34,399
♪ When we're together, colors
don't matter much to us ♪

4222
02:01:36,120 --> 02:01:41,120
♪ When we're together, eight
bits is enough for us ♪

4223
02:01:43,379 --> 02:01:48,379
♪ Corazon feathers flying
inside the copper line ♪

4224
02:01:50,638 --> 02:01:55,638
♪ When we're together, they
are yours, and they are mine ♪

4225
02:02:20,103 --> 02:02:25,103
♪ Dark is for the killer that's inside ♪

4226
02:02:26,722 --> 02:02:31,722
♪ Light surrounds the
goodness that you hide ♪

4227
02:02:34,002 --> 02:02:39,002
♪ Purple hearts are
tugging at our sleeve ♪

4228
02:02:41,164 --> 02:02:44,380
♪ We stole fire ♪

4229
02:02:44,380 --> 02:02:47,202
♪ Now there's nothing left to thieve ♪

4230
02:02:47,202 --> 02:02:52,202
♪ When we're together, colors
don't matter much to us ♪

4231
02:02:54,262 --> 02:02:59,262
♪ When we're together, eight
bits is enough for us ♪

4232
02:03:01,623 --> 02:03:06,623
♪ Corazon feathers flying
inside the copper line ♪

4233
02:03:08,722 --> 02:03:13,722
♪ When we're together, they
are yours, and they are mine ♪